Newcastle 1 Aston Villa 1 – I would debate whether the rain cost us a chance to win this game as much as our own management.

With 100% of those who stayed chanting “you’re not fit to wear the shirt”, Captain Colo came over and raised his hand in an apologetic manner, before swiftly moving on.

“The novelty will soon wear off when you’re drawing 0-0 at home to Stoke…!”

If quick elimination was their goal, they reckoned without Newcastle’s hopelessness.

Newcastle 0 Arsenal 1: Enforced fact that Newcastle fans only want a team that tries their best, as opposed to ridiculous myths of unrealistic expectations.

Winning headers, timing tackles, nipping the ball off people’s toes and playing neatly out of defence – Coloccini was everywhere.

Newcastle had the chance to sign Ayew and Gomis, the two players grabbing the goals today and putting in excellent performances.

Newcastle 2 Swansea 3 You’re not supporting the team by plonking your arse on a seat for 90 minutes, silently expecting them to entertain..

Writer Jamie Smith was left with a dilemma as he ‘enjoyed’ Liverpool 2 Newcastle 0…

Arsenal 1 Newcastle 2: A match that will more than usual, leave more unanswered questions than answers to NUFC.