After intensive research we can reveal exactly why Newcastle United get so few goals from their midfield players.

In the past the likes of Geremi, Viduka and Owen (and Hippo Heed ) may well have deserved to have dog’s abuse to be hurled down on their mercenary heads, not that it would have bothered them, but surely not Jonas, Colo and Ba.

As injuries hit the defence what is the answer to the matches in the Christmas rush?

Attack will be our best chance of defence, two strikers AND Ben Arfa.