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Press and Phillips Fantasies of Wear Toilets

2 months ago

Fuelled by the misplaced comments of Kevin Phillips, who is convinced that we Geordies will spend the match smashing the Stadium of Sh… light toilets and Chopra posting on X the We Hate Sunderland song, the press have decided that all Geordies and Mackems are violent Northern thugs who have no capability of simply supporting their team.

We are all dubbed cave dwellers.

We can’t be trusted to sing and shout, get drunk and get behind our team without the overarching need for violence.

I saw the 80s when The Benders fought all comers before they became The Gremlins. I saw football devolve into a tribal entity of pure violence and scarf waving with no real interest in the passion of football. That was then, not now.

While pockets of it remain, the madness seems to be within the continent, not widespread in the UK and most certainly not in the North East of England. Who in their right mind would want to risk having the right to watch their team removed by a court because of momentary madness?

Households still exist with both teams being supported, that has never changed. Bragging rights and laughing hard is the right of the victor and even if the Mackems win, the Geordie 6,000 will be heard above them regardless.

Newcastle United means more than the press are capable of truly understanding or wanting to accept.

United is a term, not just for the history books of East and West End, it’s United as club, city and fans. Fans from all over the world, some having never stepped foot in the UK, but are Magpies by desire and choice. Some having deep set roots as generational fans proud to carry on the proud tradition. It’s about everything black and white and as a one city club, in the city and not on the fringes of somewhere nearby.

To decide nationally that we are simply thugs, just waiting to smash Sunderland’s home ground toilets (cheers Kevin Phillips, you mug) is an insult and which fuels a deep rooted hatred that can encourage the type of violence that genuine football fans have been United in the aim of removing.

I support Newcastle United and yes, I also support every team playing against Sunderland on any given day. I hope we batter them and will be absolutely beside myself if we lose, but to have it suggested that I’m going to smash the toilets is the ill educated brainless madness of a person who has lost his grip on reality. Likely he will wax lyrical and say he was just joking? I’m not so sure the Mackem pundits now buying shares in Armitage Shanks Ltd will be so pleased when the toilets remain intact!

I have no thoughts toward Sunderland because they simply aren’t important enough to me. I’m not at the match, but if I was, I would have my back turned and be bent over showing my covered backside to Kevin Phillips and the mackems when they announce their team. I’d take in an inflatable toilet seat and throw it into the crowd as a symbol of my disbelief at the Kevin Phillips quip.

I love NUFC and love derby day. Through thick and thin I’ve stood and sat on the terraces at both clubs on derby day and will revel in victory, especially in their own toilet, I mean backyard.

Do I hate Sunderland, hell yes.

Would I smash a Mackem toilet and risk losing the ability to attend a football match again? Not a chance.

What Kevin Phillips needs to understand is that my poo is simply too important to me to be left in Sunderland and I wouldn’t dirty my boots kicking a Mackem toilet.

Howay the lads.


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