Newcastle United conspiracy theories – These are belters

Newcastle United conspiracy theories, there is plenty of them about.

I just love them.

This season has seen an absolute explosion of weird and wonderful Newcastle United conspiracy theories.

They existed last season, at least some of them did.

However, the crazies putting these Newcastle United conspiracy theories forward, were relatively low in number.

That though has now changed.

As NUFC get a higher and higher profile, then it appears to be them matched by a similar growth of these crazies.

A bit like a Zombie film where the good guys (and gals) are trying to avoid them, trying to work out what triggers them, I have done the same with these strange characters. Remarkably, if Newcastle United win, that sets them all off, yet if NUFC don’t win,, it doesn’t set them off and we hear nothing / little from them…

Anyway, these are just some of the Newcastle United conspiracy theories I have seen claimed as ‘proof’ of how NUFC are cheating…

Buying referees

The crazies claim that Newcastle United have bought off the referees. That because some Premier League referees have been moonlighting when reffing some games in Saudi Arabia this season, the ‘obviously part of their dodgy deal is that they will then do everything they can to help Newcastle win matches by giving every decision to Eddie Howe’s team.

Not sure exactly how well this is going, when you have say Kai Havertz trying to put Sean Longstaff in hospital with a horrific cowardly tackle, which should have been an automatic red, not a yellow.

Also, when Newcastle were struggling at Bournemouth and needing a helping hand at 0-0, the referee seeing nothing wrong when the Bournemouth defender clearly pulled Almiron back by his shirt as he ran into the box, an easy penalty to give.

Clearly the Saudis / Newcastle United need to be giving these referees more secret cash!

Total transfer spend

Another favourite of the crazies is that Newcastle United are cheating the system somehow when it comes to transfers. That the ‘richest club in the world’ is somehow getting away with breaking the rules and by being allowed to spend such massive amounts of money, is getting NUFC an unfair illegal advantage.

There is one small problem here…

Already with a massive advantage in terms of how much they had spent compared to Newcastle United on their squad before the October 2021 takeover, the likes of Chelsea and Man U have spent far far more than NUFC since that takeover.

Also, in the latest summer 2023 transfer window, all of the ‘Big Six’ spent more than Newcastle United.

Once again, if the Saudis / Newcastle are cheating, they aren’t doing it very well!!

Bribing VARs

Similar to the crazies claiming ‘the Saudis’ are buying off all the referees.

Any VAR decision that goes in Newcastle’s favour is clear ‘proof’ of bribery and corruption.

Whilst any VAR decision that goes against Newcastle, is… ignored.

Perfect example.

The crazies say that VAR corruption is ‘proved’ when they didn’t intervene when Bruno did his petulant, but not dangerous, glancing his forearm off Jorginho’s soft head. How did VAR not intervene, clear red card the crazies scream.

The Havertz assault on Longstaff where only split second luck saved the NUFC player from serious injury and no VAR intervention to escalate yellow to red? Nothing said by the crazies.

Shirt sponsorship

Top four, Champions League competitors, cup final reaching Newcastle United are now getting £25m a year for shirt sponsorship from Sela.

As compared to £6.5m per year from FUN88 for permanently relegation threatened, no Europe, no cup finals, no fun Newcastle United.

Clearly the Saudis cheating the system…

Not sure how this one works either, as all of the usual six are still getting far more per season each from their shirt sponsorships. In some cases ridiculously more cash.

Yet again, the cheating Saudis / NUFC are not doing this very well!

Bunging broadcasters cash

I love this one.

Newcastle United are bribing the Premier League and all the broadcasters to have our PL matches selected for the 5.30pm Saturday kick-offs and 4.30pm Sunday ones, because these are good times for matches to be seen by people in Saudi Araia. They are three hours ahead, so 8.30pm Saturdays and 7.30pm Sundays.

Hilarious.

Sell them to Saudi for fortunes, loan back to Newcastle for peanuts

Apparently, the entire Saudi Pro League venture with PIF buying 75% stakes in four clubs and investing absolute fortunes in their league overall, is actually just all an elaborate plan for players to be bought for massive amounts by Saudi clubs, then to be loaned back to Newcastle United for nothing.

If there are any Newcastle United conspiracy theories I might have missed, please let me know below…