Futile stories that have surfaced as we await the return of Newcastle United and proper football

Football has always been a religion to all of us of a black and white persuasion and we certainly miss it when Newcastle United aren’t playing.

In the comments section on The Mag, Sean asked if any of our contributors could do an article regarding some of the futile stories surfacing during this boring international break.

These are in regards to who may eventually replace Eddie Howe in the Newcastle United hotseat.

One name that seems to always get a mention and a link with the Newcastle job is Jose Mourinho.

I have no doubt that Mr Mourinho does have a little soft spot for the Toon and he was a disciple of Sir Bobby Robson.

However, Jose’s orthodox brand of football at St James’ Park wouldn’t sit well with the Geordie congregation.

So who else is potentially out there that would be a good fit?

Pep Guardiola is generally regarded as the the finest coach in the world.

He’ll also be available in the next couple of years and looking for a new parish, as Manchester City are going to be severely punished for their multiple financial indiscretions and sins.

So don’t be surprised if Pep racks up with Erling Haaland in tow.

I have also heard Unai Emery’s name being resurrected as a possible replacement for ‘Fast Eddie’ (look how far we have came in so little time).

Emery was apparently Amanda Staveley and the consortium’s first choice back in 2021.

There are also other fresh foreign coaches seemingly parting waves in the EPL, the likes of Roberto De Zerbi and Thomas Frank at Brighton and Brentford respectively.

On the other hand, what could possibly go wrong if the owners opted to go for an innovative homegrown British coach, whose footballing philosophy has become testament to the way he is currently bring lorded and worshipped by the masses.

I am of course referring to Sunderland’s current messiah Tony ‘Rinus’ Mowbray…

Righteo, that is enough pure and utter nonsense for one day, so I will end today’s sermon with a prayer, and eternal thank you.

‘Our saviour
Who follows in the footsteps of Kevin,
Hallowed be thy name

Give us they day our daily Ed
And forgive all our bad passes,
As we forgive those that back pass against us

For Tyneside is our Kingdom
The power and the glory
Forever and ever, Amen’