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Richard Keys on Newcastle United – Maybe his best ever as we look at what he said previously…

4 months ago

I have to admit it, Richard Keys is just so impressive.

That is, so impressive in terms of I have never known anybody call so many things wrong, over the course of so long a time period.

Richard Keys is relentless, it doesn’t matter how many times he gets things wrong, nothing puts him off from having another try and another one and…

What makes it all the better / worse is that when he does call the odd thing correctly, he shouts it from the rooftops, conveniently ignoring the other 101 things that he got totally wrong.

He reminds me of the modern day journalists who publish literally hundreds and hundreds of claimed informed transfer stories, with only one of those hundreds and hundreds happening as predicted. Yet that / those journalist(s) will repeatedly then keep saying ‘as I told you on…’ with zero mention of those countless other transfer tales that never ever came to pass.

What is even more bizarre in the case of Richard Keys, is that at times, even when he predicts something and ends up getting it totally wrong, he occasionally still claims it as a success…maybe simply relying on nobody bothering to check what he did originally say.

Which brings us to Newcastle United.

Richard Keys including this today on his personal blog – 7 March 2022:

‘Top marks for Eddie Howe as well.

‘What a run Newcastle are on. They’re safe. There’s no way they’re getting back into trouble.

‘They might even finish top half. Why not? They’re playing well enough.

‘And it’s been built on simplicity – with the solid citizens I mentioned here a couple of weeks ago.

‘Yes – Joelinton has been enormous – but so has Dan Burn.

‘They’ll need a whole lot better than either of those two guys if they want to achieve their dreams – but right now it’s great to see the likes of Burn getting a good press.’

On the face of it, not a great deal to dislike, apart from maybe the praising of Burn and Joelinton, only to then indicate they are very simply short-term fixes.

However, what I do want you to take note of, is how Richard Keys has presented the above, referring back to what he said ‘a couple of weeks ago’…as though now he has been proved right with his previous Newcastle United observations.

It was actually four weeks rather than a ‘couple’ and this is what our friend had to say back then about Newcastle United and the relegation fight…

Richard Keys writing – 7 February 2022:

‘Newcastle are still in big trouble, that’s for sure.

‘Their spend in January was interesting, I mentioned Wood in the last blog. He’s a solid citizen. Trippier is too, although he’s not going to win you many games.

‘Dan Burn? Underwhelming.

‘So was the addition of Targett.

‘Guimaraes is the wrong man, at the wrong time, at the wrong club for me. Is he really going to dig them out of trouble? I don’t think so…You can see why Newcastle bought him. They just had to land a big one (big-ish) to prove they could, but they came up well short. They were nowhere near the ones they really wanted. All the money on the world doesn’t guarantee success.

‘I don’t see enough goals in them to survive. I was texting a Geordie legend on another matter this week and he agreed…

‘Another problem which has emerged for the Toon is that two of the other strugglers are going to give it a right go.

Norwich are finding some form under Dean Smith – whose been the course before – and Roy Hodgson will get a tune out of Watford…Yep – if Newcastle are going to stay up they’ve got it all on.

‘I can’t wait for the game against Everton this week. What a difference in the attitude and atmosphere around Goodison for the tie against Brentford. It was as if a stiff breeze off the Mersey had blown the stench of the Benitez era away. I’ve spoken to people who suffered the pain of the Spaniards time with Everton. Three words keep coming up – distanced, difficult and destructive. Three ‘d’s. Here’s another – dunce. Good luck Frank. It’s great to have you back in business.

‘I’m not suggesting it’s going to be easy for them – quite the opposite – but it was a great start and I think they’ll win at Newcastle this week. Everybody at Goodison looked refreshed.’

Honestly, where do you start?

Everton / Benitez:

His never ending hatred of Rafa Benitez is something to behold.

Under Rafa, Everton picked up 19 points in 19 Premier League games, since they got rid of the ‘stench’ of Benitez, the blue scousers have three points from five PL games, losing four of five games and winning the other against Leeds, who are one of the few who have been doing almost as badly as Everton.

A ‘refreshed’ Everton were totally dominated by Newcastle United in one of those defeats, Eddie Howe’s team winning 3-1 but it could have been a fair few more.

Norwich and Watford to give it a right go:

Well, since Richard Keys made these bold predictions, Watford have lost four and picked up only four points from a possible eighteen.

As for Norwich it is one point from a possible fifteen since the Keys’ prediction. He really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Joelinton and Dan Burn:

I honestly can’t recall Richard Keys ever acknowledging just what a turn around Eddie Howe has overseen, in turning Joelinton into what looks an accomplished midfielder, one who could potentially end up being a real top class one, if he keeps up the kind of form he has shown.

Richard Keys four weeks ago referred to Newcastle’s Trippier and Wood as ‘solid citizens’ after signing BUT rubbished the signing of Bruno Guimaraes and said this about the other two recruits – ‘Dan Burn? Underwhelming. So was the addition of Targett.’

Today, Richard Keys is trying to pretend rather than describe Dan Burn as ‘underwhelming’, that he (Keys) was including the former Brighton defender amongst his ‘solid citizens’ signings comment, ‘Yes – Joelinton has been enormous – but so has Dan Burn. They’ll need a whole lot better than either of those two guys if they want to achieve their dreams – but right now it’s great to see the likes of Burn getting a good press.’

You have to laugh, Newcastle fans were more than happy with the signing of Dan Burn and thought he could significantly improve things at the back, yet after slagging the big Geordie defender only four weeks ago, Richard Keys is now saying ‘it’s great to see the likes of Burn getting a good press’…as though he (Keys) had never ridiculed the signing of and dismissed Dan Burn as any kind of a useful additional.

Richard Keys also had Matt Targett in the ‘underwhelming’ category, yet it is he and Dan Burn who have arguably had the biggest impact, with Kieran Trippier sadly seeing his early promise end, when subbed off halfway through the Villa match and then surgery.

Eddie Howe / Newcastle United:

A month ago, Richard was bigging up the likes of Roy Hodgson, Dean Smith and Frank Lampard, whilst with Eddie Howe at Newcastle United it was a case of, ‘I don’t see enough goals in them to survive. I was texting a Geordie legend on another matter this week and he agreed…’

Now, after a run of five wins in six and 16 points from a possible 18 it is a case of ‘Top marks for Eddie Howe’, no mention whatsoever of the fact that he (Richard Keys) had Howe relegating Newcastle after (according to Keys) a disastrous January transfer window.

Indeed, whilst Richard Keys repeatedly went against Newcastle United fans and the patently obvious in trying to big up Steve Bruce time after time, it is funny how Keys is now refusing to name check the fact that Eddie Howe has done a brilliant job in clearing up Ashley’s and Bruce’s mess. In particular, the fact that Howe has pretty much every single player performing far better than under the previous head coach, with some such as Joelinton, Fraser and Schar looking real class acts, when under Bruce they were lucky to even get a game a lot of the time.


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