Newcastle United fan compiles CV to compete with Steve Bruce for NUFC management role
A Newcastle United fan wishing to remain anonymous for the time being, has touched the limits of desperation, for the sake of better results.
The young lad has compiled his footballing CV in an emergency bid to provide an alternative to Steve Bruce.
Sources say Lee Charnley would be “blown away” by this CV, with the only possible problem being the line where “honesty and integrity” were mentioned.
Other predictions have been made about the skills section as well, with this young Newcastle United fan listing a lot of points that are not possessed by Steve Bruce.
While it is uncertain whether the current manager would be either angry or amused by this bold job seeker, it’s fair to say that he (Steve Bruce) will be about getting the balance right.
The Newcastle United fan CV has now been made public to readers of The Mag to judge if they would rather stick with Bruce, or give this unnamed fellow a try…?
FOOTBALLING CV (Of a for the time being, remaining anonymous Newcastle United fan)
A highly organised and disciplined football coach with excellent communication and conflict
A concerned Newcastle United fan who is ready to take on the challenge of the relegation
battle this year.
He is known to avoid throwing his players under the bus, and also for actually trying
out formations in training, rather than “unfortunately dropping” into them.
Lifelong (current) – TV Manager
Screams gameplan at players who, unfortunately, can’t hear.
2011-2020 – Manager (Newcastle, Manchester United, Tottenham, Arsenal… on PlayStation)
Drew up game plans
Made game-changing substitutions
Managed transfers and club finances
Brought youth players through the ranks
2017 – Manager (unnamed 5-a-side team)
Drew up game plans
Assigned roles to players
Fostered team spirit
Led team to the finals
2016 – Player Manager
Led training sessions
Drew up game plan and assigned roles
Led team to semi-finals but withdrew due to personal reasons
SKILLS / ATTRIBUTES
Confidence in press conferences
Honesty and Integrity
Actual knowledge of football tactics
Prevents training ground bust-ups
Studies players strengths and weaknesses
Good sense of humour
Shows by his words (during pressers) that he actually manages the team
Has never managed Sunderland
YouTube, Television and local experience
Aspiring towards UEFA licensure
Arsene Wenger and Pep Biographies.
2003-2017 (Local teams)
Centre forward: 8 goals in 6 games, by official record (1000 goals in 500 games, by “Pele” record)
Also played attacking midfield, Right back and Centre back
Available on request.
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