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I’ve just got off the phone…Why isn’t Mike Ashley doing anything about this at Newcastle

4 weeks ago
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Why, oh why, oh why…

I’ve just got off the phone after yet another socially distanced rant about the toon – and in particular the inadequacy of Steve Bruce – and why hasn’t anyone done anything about it.

The conclusion – we both suspect no one has done anything – because there is no one to do anything!

Mike Ashley is not interested and Charnley is playing golf!

However, that doesn’t explain the appearance of Graeme Jones. What is going on here?

Is it Steve Bruce to Mike Ashley: ‘I’ve no idea what I’m doing, Mike. Can you get someone in to work for me that does? Sure thing, Steve – my money is your money…’

Or is it Ashley to Bruce: ‘You’ve no idea what you are doing, Steve. I’m putting someone in who might have a clue. Yes sir, Mr Ashley Sir, Anything you say…’

I’ve watched the video of his first game and Jones’ shouted instructions. And forgetting the result, we all saw the level of cohesion, energy and effectiveness of the team. I for one would not moan so much if you saw that kind of commitment, teamwork, basic skills and energy each week. I’d even accept the occasional ‘we were unlucky…’ excuse. You can’t win ‘em all!

Then we saw the game after, the defeat to Palace. Same team, different man setting them up and shouting instructions against easier opposition. And we saw commitment and energy. Just next to no decent teamwork or basic skills.

What happened to the cohesion?

Certainly compared to the match before they were a shambles and the ‘number of shots’ total nicely disguised that the chances (and quality of chances) that fell to Wilson in the Everton game just did not happen against Crystal Palace. And while it wasn’t as bad as recent form – THIS WAS A GAME WE SHOULD HAVE WON!

So what was the difference?

It could be the Jones factor (in which case – please, someone, get the cabbage out the way!), or it could be Steve’s random tactics generator simply not rolling a 6 (like it hasn’t 10 games in the last 11 (Premier League), 12 in 13 in all competitions).

If the latter, then I suspect that unless the Fat Controller gets a move on and gives him the boot, then Southampton this weekend could be the crunch game. A defeat will, I suspect (with Chelski and the Mancs to follow) lead to another three defeats in a row – one win from 16 (including 2 cup defeats). And that will leave us 13 games left to get 16 points to get to 38 points. 1.23 points per game – and I’m not even suggesting 40 points for safety.

And that includes games against Spurs, Liverpool, Arsenal, Leicester and Man City. So maybe 16 points from 8 games. For the numerically challenged, that’s 2 points per game and that’s more than the Bruce has managed in his managerial career!

So come on Mike Ashley. Put in a shift and protect your investment before it’s too late.

I used to joke about liking Sunderland being in the same division because that was always six points to us (to be fair – this was pre-P45Due). But I really don’t want to be playing them next season!

Another relegation is too big a price just to prove to the wider BBC commentary teams of Steve Bruce’s mates that

a) maybe those toon supporters are decent judges of footballing ability, and not just glory hunting delusionists, and

b) that Steve Bruce has not got the faintest idea what he is doing!

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