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Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics and Steve Bruce

7 months ago

As a former maths teacher I am always interested in the stats for each of the Newcastle United games.

However, I’m starting to wish I didn’t understand what percentages were, thanks to Steve Bruce.

Here are the possession percentages for the opposition in the 14 games we have played this season:

58 West Ham, 53 Brighton, 66 Spurs, 52 Burnley, 64 Man U, 63 Wolves, 62 Everton, 61 Southampton, 71 Chelsea, 57 Palace, 55 WBA, 69 Leeds, 51 Fulham, 75 Man C.

So, in all of those games we have not once managed to have more than 50% possession, despite playing two of the bottom sides at home, one of them with ten men for 34 minutes.

Some of those figures are particularly embarrassing, like Chelsea at home.

Imagine if there were 52,000 in the ground to watch that.

It is clear to an idiot where our problem lies and yet Steve Bruce doesn’t try and pick a team to keep the ball.

He picks slow paced players who don’t open up space for a pass. He picks slow paced players who can’t press the opposition and he picks rubbish like Joelinton who can’t do anything.

Here are the shots against in the same match order: 15, 13, 23, 7, 28, 16, 15, 15, 14, 12, 13, 25, 11, 11.

It’s no surprise to discover that Karl Darlow is heading the list for player of the season. Again, filling the side with slow players who can’t retain possession and tactics that encourage launching the ball forwards, have a part to play in this.

Make no mistake, these are the figures of a relegation team,  18 points might seem a lot now but it isn’t going to increase anytime soon.

This season, Newcastle are simply awful to watch. They have no idea from one game to the next and as the so called manager /head coach has said, the ambition is simply to stay in the league.

I can only see things getting worse.

The teams below us are starting to become more organised.

WBA will pick up points, Fulham are getting better, Arsenal will start picking up points, so I expect an end of season battle with about four other teams.

Have this lot got the stomach for it?

Joelinton gonna start banging them in is he?

Steve Bruce gonna exploit other teams weaknesses?

Our midfield gonna track every run and press the opposition?

Nah, I don’t think so.

Or am I just being hysterical as Steve Bruce has suggested?

Not really. I very rarely show any emotion for this lot anymore.


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