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Steve Bruce would tell you that 95% of the Titanic’s maiden voyage went really well

11 months ago

I always dreaded Steve Bruce becoming Newcastle United manager.

In the past he was regularly linked with the job and not just the usual media made up stuff.

Steve Bruce himself claiming that he turned down the NUFC job on two separate occasions.

Well, it was third time ‘lucky’ when Mike Ashley came along and appointed Bruce on 17 July 2019, paying Sheffield Wednesday a reported £4m in compensation.  Although, the NUFC owner was at pains to make clear that Steve Bruce would have only limited authority, as he stated the new man would be a ‘Head Coach’ rather than the manager.

The Steve Bruce managerial record on the pitch was horrific enough, with his 392 Premier League games producing on average only 1.03 goals per game and 1.12 points per game. The worst record of any manager in the Premier League to have managed that number of matches or more.

However, I have to say, that at least as bad, in my opinion anyway, is his patter down the years.

Listening to Steve Bruce at his past clubs, I just thought please, don’t let us ever have to put up with the big lump’s nonsense and blame avoidance / denial at St James Park.

I honestly think that he is the very worst we have had.

Which is saying something when under Mike Ashley we have had to listen to Allardyce, JFK, McClaren, Pardew and Carver!

I can’t believe it is 53 matches already he has been here for, the rubbish he has come out with in press conferences and interviews is truly astonishing / appalling.

I have detailed a few of his quotes below, just from the handful of Premier League game so far this season, but honestly…Steve Bruce would tell you that 95% of the Titanic’s maiden voyage went really well.

I can’t take the credit for that reference as it is a reworking of the classic Steve Coogan character, Alan Partridge, who declared:

“Oh yeah, people go on about Titanic, Titanic.

“Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic’s maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg!”

Steve Bruce has carried incredible luck to not actually hit the iceberg so far in his 15 months at Newcastle United BUT he is repeatedly steering the good ship NUFC very much in the iceberg’s direction.

For most Newcastle fans it surely only feels like a question of time before Bruce actually ‘succeeds’ in crashing us headlong into that iceberg, unless of course he is relieved of his post first…

Steve Bruce after losing 4-1 to Man Utd – 17 October 2020:

“Up until the last 10 minutes we were in it.

“De Gea makes a great save from Callum and you need those things to go for you when you are playing against the big teams….up until 85 minutes we were in with a shout.

“The defeat looks worse than it really was.”

Steve Bruce pre-Burnley match – 2 October 2020:

“Have I been lucky for 20 years?

“What do you not understand? I‘m going to question you lot, do you not understand what we’re trying to do? Can you not explain that to the supporters…what we are trying to do?

“I have been going 20 odd years and I look at the clubs I have managed: Sunderland, Hull, Birmingham…I think they were in a far healthier state [back then] than they are now. To say that I’m lucky…I just find it a little bit insulting.

“So all of a sudden we have to think we are Liverpool?

“We were stylish against Morecambe, we were stylish against West Ham. We had 27 attempts the other day [against Newport]. That is what we are trying to achieve.

“Now I’m lucky, am I? Lucky? Wow. I just find it very frustrating and deeply disappointing because this thing of direction or lack of tactics…what do you not understand?”

Steve Bruce in the aftermath of the ridiculously lucky 1-1 draw at Tottenham on 27 September 2020:

“I totally understand we didn’t play well enough on Sunday [at Spurs] or the week before [0-3 at home to Brighton] but I don’t think it’s got anything to do with style of play.

“I do want to change but I’ve had to be really patient with it.

“It has not just been like that for the last two or three months. It has been like that for two or three years.”

Steve Bruce after losing 3-0 at home to Brighton – 20 September 2020:

“We were better after making the change [Almiron for Carroll at half-time].

“But I think it would have been unfair [not to play Andy Carroll] after his performance last week.

“When you are two down after seven minutes, it becomes difficult against a team who base their style on possession.

“We never gave ourselves a chance but the penalty was dubious and then we let them in again with a basic piece of play.”


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