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Be worried – We have now reached the Uri Geller stage of the Newcastle United takeover

2 years ago

No need to be concerned now, Uri Geller says everything is going to be alright.

The 73 year old declaring; ‘There is no doubt in my mind that it will be sold.’

Uri Geller then claiming: ‘I’m very rarely wrong and I urge the fans to send their positive energy towards the club being sold; to visualise it being sold.’

If you are a child of the seventies, you can’t fail to remember Uri Geller.

Surprisingly not though for his expert views on football finance and corporate takeovers.

Instead, the self-proclaimed physic turned up on our 1970s TV sets, showing the ‘amazing’ talent of being able to bend a spoon.

Back in those innocent days this passed for amazing TV and I remember our school had to give a warning, as the school dining hall barely had a straight spoon as the craze swept the nation. We found we had the exact same ‘magical’ powers as Uri Geller, if we stuck our spoon under the table and bent it by force.

More than two decades later, Uri Geller came back into our lives, saying he was now a Newcastle fan, he claimed credit for ‘lifting the London curse’, when NUFC won at Arsenal in 2001 after a run of 29 matches without a win in the capital. Personally, I think it was more to do with the magical powers of Laurent Robert that night at Highbury…

Another 14 years later and he was back, claiming to have used his powers to save Newcastle from relegation, although this time it was the magical powers of Jonas Gutierrez that ensured United weren’t relegated on the final day of that season.

You have to ask of course, why didn’t Toon fan Uri Geller use his magical powers to remove John Carver at some point during his two wins in 19 matches and save us earlier, instead of waiting until that very last match.

Now we have scraped the very bottom of the barrel with Uri Geller, how is it possible to get any lower or more desperate.

As such a big Newcastle fan, surely Geller’s magical powers should have been able to conjure up a trophy or two down the decades, not just a couple of wins over cockney opposition.

As well as reassuring us that this Newcastle United takeover is going to happen, Uri Geller also claims that he is ‘very rarely wrong’ and that ‘Steve Bruce is going to lead the way’ after the takeover.

It’s a wonder he missed out Joelinton definitely getting 30 goals next season…

Uri Geller speaking to the Chronicle:

“My intuition tells me that the Premier League will find it very difficult to stop. There is no doubt in my mind that it will be sold.

“My reasoning is very simple. Beside psychic, the British Government has huge contracts with Saudi Arabia so there can’t be some kind of hypocrisy here.

“I believe Mike Ashley will get his £300m and the club will be sold. I have good feelings about it.

“The biggest opposition comes from Amnesty International but at the end of the day I think the road will be paved for the club to be sold.

“I’m not a miracle worker, a guru or a prophet – I’m just telling you my feelings. I’m very rarely wrong and I urge the fans to send their positive energy towards the club being sold; to visualise it being sold.

“There are a lot of politics involved obviously but I do believe that the OK will be given very soon.

“Look at who owns Manchester City. Is it a double-edged sword [with Newcastle]? Why should this sale not go through? I know about the accusations, I know about [Jamal] Khashoggi – I’ve been following it.

“I think Steve Bruce is going to lead the way and there are some great players at the club.”


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