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If Mike Ashley doesn’t sell Newcastle United, this will be happening in ten years time

2 years ago

Mike Ashley could be selling the club, or maybe not.

The Newcastle United owner claimed to be in contact with various groups who are (allegedly) serious about buying NUFC.

However, with Mike Ashley telling fans back in 2008 that they could stop protesting against him because he was definitely selling the club as soon as possible, little wonder we all doubt he is genuine about trying to sell.

We are only now three months away from completing 13 years of Mike Ashley’s reign at NUFC.

How can anybody not think now that there is every chance of at least another decade under Ashley?

Getting my crystal ball out, if Mike Ashley still owns Newcastle United in 2030 then I reckon this is what we will be saying/hearing in 10 years time:

The local media telling us that their sauces/sources (Mike Ashley’s people) tell them that Mike Ashley definitely wants to sell NUFC, if only he can find a willing buyer…

Fans saying to each other…remember that glorious season when in 2020 we got to the fifth round of the FA Cup, if only we could bring those cup glory days back.

People wondering when work will start on the state of the art new training complex (which Mike Ashley said was essential if NUFC were going to be able to compete), first promised 17 years ago (in 2013).

Hopes that the Academy might produce its first home grown first team player since Matty and Sean Longstaff, who left in 2020 and 2021 respectively, after Mike Ashley refused to offer the Newcastle fans decent contracts.

The latest initiative to fill St James Park said to be going well, buy one season ticket and get four free the latest Ashley masterstroke (desperation).

Everybody still reminiscing about how you used to be able to see the cathedral up on the hill as you approached SJP, until Ashley sold off the club’s land at Gallowgate and the eyesore development blocked the views, as well as stopping any chance of future expansion of St James Park.

Lee Charnley now with greatly increased responsibility because as well as his job as caretaker/office manager at NUFC, he now also oversees the Sports Direct superstore which replaced the last remaining club shop at St James Park. The decision to formally rebrand it as an SD shop coming  about in 2027 when NUFC branded items became only 10% of the shop’s range of products.

Fans each year now looking forward to Charnley announcing the transfer budget ahead of each season, then seeing only half of that amount spent…

The Sports Direct shirt sponsorship has been a big success (for SD) these past five years. Mike Ashley saying he would happily switch to a new outside paying sponsor, if only they could find anybody willing/interested in paying anything for it.

Steve Bruce has just signed a new eight year contract after the club labelled his time in charge a huge success. To get Newcastle promoted three times in the past decade is a feat no previous manager/head coach has ever managed.

Steve Bruce has announced (yet again) that he thinks Mike Ashley is great.

The initiative to bring back club legends in positions of power has been met with widespread approval from the local press, Alan Pardew and his assistant John Carver said to be settling in well as Director/Assistant Director of football.


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