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Opinion

Newcastle United takeover – It’s not like it said in the brochure

1 year ago
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Another Newcastle United takeover…another tedious waste of time?

It was Amanda Staveley with invisible backers in 2017.

Then Peter Kenyon with invisible backers and a brochure in 2018.

Now Peter Kenyon is back in 2019 with a different brochure and…different backers.

The ‘backers’ this time are GACP Sports, who are part of a business that helps to organise buyouts/takeovers of companies on behalf of investors, with GACP then playing a key role in managing those investments with a longer-term exit strategy to later leave with a big as possible profit.

It was Kevin Keegan who came out with the immortal line ‘It’s not like it said in the brochure.’

The Newcastle United legend saying this back in 1992 after he’d been asked to come and try to save NUFC from the third tier.

Only a few weeks into his management role, Kevin Keegan walked away and made that brochure comment, referring to the fact that John Hall hadn’t kept his word on promises about money to try and help stave off relegation.

Hall backed down, Keegan returned, the rest is history.

What Kevin Keegan would make of this latest ‘brochure’ is open to question.

What can’t be denied is that there is a brochure and this was sent out by Peter Kenyon and/or GACP earlier this year.

It has the feel and look though of a school project and indeed not one that would be passing any exams.

Very difficult to believe that this was something sent out to potential investors with any serious intention of it underpinning a £300m Newcastle United takeover.

Indeed, surely there would be a very good chance of a case of mis-selling if any investor bought a chunk of Newcastle United based on this laughable brochure.

Maybe best of all, the brochure talks about Steve Bruce having had ‘unparalleled success in Europe’, when in actual fact he is as successful as a manager in Europe as Sunderland have been over the years.

The brochure clearly having had Rafa’s name replaced by Steve Bruce but not bothering to change the rest of the text.

The photo on the cover has three players featured, two of them Rondon and Perez who are no longer here, whilst a team photo inside is from summer 2018.

The brochure talks of relatively low investment in the squad but that then leading to Newcastle returning to Europe on the back of it.

Whilst the brochure was bad enough, the extra info that has came out in the last 24 hours makes it arguably even more laughable.

The offer on the back of investors attracted by the brochure leading supposedly to a £300m offer to Mike Ashley but only £125m up front, with £175m to be paid over three years. During that time period Ashley would be paid 3% interest until the final instalment and would get free Sports Direct advertising for the entire time.

Further reports say that only £80m has been raised by investors and £270m more would be raised through bank loans, £220m to finance the rest of the purchase price and £50m set aside for early operational costs.

Even if you believe this adds up to a credible offer going in, the £300m is £50m down on what Mike Ashley was widely reported to be demanding previously, plus of course he would be paid in instalments. Surely the only reason Ashley would ever sell is because he could instantly use that cash elsewhere on his retail empire.

Mike Ashley has shown absolutely no genuine interest in selling Newcastle United these past 12 years, despite his embarrassing claims to the contrary. The idea he would then be accepting this bizarre offer is beyond laughable.

We haven’t even touched on the small matter of already being involved in another relegation fight, which if lost, would mean a new buyer would have seen their investment instantly halved.

Very definitely NOT what it said in the brochure.

A willing seller and credible buyer in this Newcastle United takeover?

We have neither.

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