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An open letter to Newcastle fans (allegedly…) from Mike Ashley

3 months ago
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Mike Ashley knows Newcastle United are now guaranteed to be a Premier League club for the 2019/20 season.

As Lee Charnley said ‘Another successful season..’

A relegation fight that lasted eight months and one that didn’t see a singe win until November.

Knocked out of the League Cup at the first attempt by a lower league club (yet again), before then exiting before the fifth round of the FA Cup (for the 12th year in a row under Mike Ashley’s ownership) to a complete Watford reserve team.

Newcastle fans and Mag contributor John Williams brings us this open letter from Mike Ashley (Allegedly…):

‘Dear Newcastle fans,

We are nearly at the end of yet another successful season.

We all must agree we have collectively met our goals, you have premier league football next season, I made a profit.

I am looking forward to next season with a new man in charge.

To explain, I cannot have an employee, no matter how popular, telling me what to do.

So he will be replaced with someone more in line with our thinking.

I will spend some money in the transfer window but I will not waste it.

Look at Fulham, spent nearly £100 million and still got relegated. We won’t do that (spend £100m…).

I have spoken to Lee and he informs me that the three teams coming up will go straight back down, so we will not sign Rondon (too old) and will make do with Hoselu, who has proven he can score against the best (Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham) in the past.

For your great support this year, I have told Lee to get someone to touch up the stadium a bit (but he must get three quotes)

Only one more home game to go, so you get one last chance to say goodbye to the manager (Can’t remember his name)

All the best for the summer and remember to get your season tickets early as there will be a huge demand.

Mike’

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