Yes Rio Ferdinand and Richard Keys, you are spot on, thank you Mike Ashley.

Thanks for making Newcastle United a laughing stock.

Thanks for running wor club on the cheap.

Thanks for ruining the weekends season after season.

Thanks for not giving us something to cheer about.

Thanks for not giving us an escape from our mundane lives.

Thanks for treating wor hallowed ground as a hoarding for ya tatty sports shop.

Really, are you mental Rio or just seeing Newcastle United as an easy target to send your Twitter account wild?

Richard, dear me, a manager buying players out his own wages? I haven’t heard anything as daft since the cockney told us we will get every penny we generate, hahaha.

I really wish I was saying thank you Mike Ashley but howay, really, do you two knackers think we have anything to be thankful for? No, I didn’t think so,

It’s getting to the point when I maybe have to say, if Ashley stays then I go. It breaks my heart that this had even crossed my mind but it’s starting to affect my health and wellbeing.

Like most Geordies I’m a warm welcoming lad who sees the good in all folk, but I’m ashamed to say, hatred is creeping into my life for the greedy get. I’m worried where this hatred may lead me to.

I’m already going into his stores, not to buy owt but shoplifting, if he won’t buy us players at least he can put clothes on the backs of the homeless of Newcastle.

It could have been so different had you just done your job and backed Rafa.

Your retail empire would be flourishing as we would have snapped up your mega sale deals in support of our owner, as you would have been one of us.

In a way I’m prepared to accept relegation after relegation so you get nowt for Newcastle United, just to get you gone, and if you go bust in the process – all the better.

So please Rio and Richard, shut your mouths, we don’t want to hear your thoughts on wor club.

It’s our, not Ashley’s, he should be thanking us.

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  • pedrodelgardo

    Great stuff Iain, just don’t get caught!

  • Steven05

    Iain – if we all had the same passion you have shown in your article – we might not be in this big a mess, and the fat cancer may already have been history

  • Evan Morrissey

    Wow really emotional piece there good on you iain. It’s a shame that it has come to this, I’m ready to walk away from Newcastle because of how this man makes me feel about the club. Whether Newcastle get relegated or somehow manage to survive if Ashley is still owner I’m out. HWTL.

  • Themoscow72

    Do you not understand that no one wants to buy us except a couple of people who have not got the money. When he took over we were £156m in debt and the banks had pulled the plug with no more loans. In his eleven years we have broken even at best hence the debt to Mike remaining round the £130m mark which he has put in which have saved over £80m in interest.
    If we get new owners and it is a big if it is unlikely we will have any more money to spend. He has not taken a penny out in wages, dividends or bonuses. Out of the eleven years he has been here we have had money in the bank for only two where he spent heavily. Try watching Newcastle six seasons in the second division in a row some times near the bottom and come back and tell me if these are bad times.

    • Paul Patterson

      Are you happy with the current state of affairs?
      If you are, you are not a football fan, end of.

      • Themoscow72

        Believe me most of the time I have been supporting this club it’s been a lot worse. That is what you lot do not understand.

        • Paul Patterson

          That’s like saying which would you prefer to have- Rabies or Malaria?

        • Vincent Gigante

          It’s never been as bad as it is nown the spotlight of wider television coverage, social media and financial analysis has magnified the problem beyond anything that has gone before.
          Each board we have ever had has abused the loyalty of the fans but this bloke is systematically destroying this football club out of spite. If what you say is correct regarding the finances of the club then at the reported 300m + purchase price he’d have a queue lined up to buy it. As Leazes suggests it’s snip for such a in the black football club so what is that is stopping the sale?

        • ADROCK

          But in the 80s we didn’t have huge amounts of sky money to spend so it’s no surprise the team was even worse

          • Toon Arnie

            Or not spend as the case may be !

        • Toon Arnie

          You support Ashley not the club. Two totally different things. You should be ashamed of yourself.

      • drc74

        i wouldnt bother asking him that question, me and wezza have asked ir, still waiting for an answear, hes a fxcking moron. . oh look he hasnt answered that question again

    • Angelswithdirtyfaces

      Mr Ashley told a House of Commons Select Committee a few weeks ago that “accountants can prove anything” If you really believe that Mr A has made no money at all from the Toon in eleven year then you’re definitely zipped up the back.

      • Themoscow72

        He has made no money as it’s a legal requirement for any earnings to be disclosed.

        • Jonas

          well if I were him I’d be selling the f**ker sharpish.
          He’s putting in this PR campaign and fake sales spin for something that makes him no money and ergo is of no benefit to him whatever?!

    • Wezza

      “He has not taken a penny out”

      Oh stop it. If you really believe this there is a reason why everyone is saying you’re a nutcase. You ignore Grant Thornton (auditor for us and SD) being under investigation and as Angelswithdirtyfaces points out, your mate Mike even admitted accountants can do anything. If you honestly think “Mike” owns this club to make no money then you really are insane.

      29. Related Party Transactions
      Transaction between the Company and its group undertakings are not disclosed as permitted by section 33 of FRS 102.

      Interesting.

      Why don’t you talk about how Perez was THE worst player against Chelsea and has been poor all season and don’t reply with his get out of jail free card (top scorer last season so thats ok)

      • Themoscow72

        Perez was great on Saturday the only player a long with Atsu to create anything.

        • Kenny

          And missed the target when through on goal

        • Wezza

          You deflect just like your mate “Pezza”

          • Leazes.

            Isn’t that the same person?

          • Wezza

            I’m not sure really.

        • Toon Arnie

          Rubbish. Young Longstaff was our best player.

    • Tweed Mag

      Clearly you have a point of view which is as well thought out as Rio Ferdinand’s.
      Devoid of meaningful facts, full of daft propaganda and out of step with anyone who possesses common sense.
      By all means carry on supporting the team in the way you are programmed to do, but please don’t tell lies.

      • Themoscow72

        What lies. We were £156m in debt and according to former chairman Dennis Cassidy the banks had pulled the plug. The accounts show us with money in the bank for only two years. Sorry but what I say is the truth know it hurts.

        • Tweed Mag

          So where is the £60m you said was available for transfers this month?
          Where is the £83m you said McClaren spent accounted for?
          The TRUTH is Ashley is draining the club. What hurts is seeing the team struggle and a slow decline in what was a top club.
          Truth is there is only one person to blame for that and unfortunately you are with him all the way.

    • Kenny

      £156m in debt, 😂😂😂
      Moron

      • Themoscow72

        While you bat on the left and I bat on the right regarding Ashley I pride myself on telling the truth. The debt was £156,882,00 broken down as follows. Bank overdraft 15,383,000, Interest bearing loans 23,036,000 Trade Creditors 40,522,000, amounts owed stands 64,249,000, provisions 960,000, deferred income 12,207,000 and other 525,000.

        • Kenny

          I`ll wait for Leazes to rip that apart

          • Themoscow72

            He cannot hold a candle to my accountancy skills sorry.

          • Tweed Mag

            Tui 2.6 billion euros in debt – bet they are pleased you left.

          • Wezza

            He never was with them.

          • Tweed Mag

            Walter Mitty?

          • Toon Arnie

            So are you going to explain where the tv money has gone then or have you bottled it again ?

          • Wezza

            My guess he will say:
            “On wages and bonuses”
            “Last season we finished tenth! blah blah blah blah”

          • graham18

            He’s totally bottled it.

          • Leazes.

            I’ve just remembered his alias that he used to post under before bobbi fleckman…..

            it was Intravenus De Milo on twitter @IntravenusMP

            He’s still using it to argue with Chris Holt……

            ……What is he going on about now then? Its usually to make him/herself centre of attention.

          • Wezza

            Well his family don’t pay him attention so this kind of behaviour is predictable and seems normal to him.

          • Wezza

            Yes and he used the word “chap” as well… BUSTED!

          • Leazes.

            Think I’ll go through his old posts to see who he’s been targeting and pass on his real name for a laugh….

            He might get a few more followers….some with baseball bats.

          • Themoscow72

            Leazes now making things up never heard of any of the people below except fleckman who lives in Yorkshire and Chris who produces stats

          • Wezza

            and you know Fleckman how?

          • Themoscow72

            Do not know him but he posts on here and seems a genuine chap. The only person I have met in person is Brian Standen who stands left of centre in the protest movement along with you chaps.

          • Leazes.

            Because he is fleckman the barbarian accountant

          • Wezza

            Haha yes. So it is him then! He creates alter egos for himself because he has no family to communicate with.

        • JohnnyH

          Monk,
          Two words; Grant Thornton

          • Tweed Mag

            Two more – under investigation.
            Two more – irregularities found.
            Two more – fined £2m.
            Two more – fined £3m (separate offence)
            Two more – severely reprimanded.
            Two more – admitted misconduct.
            Two more – what next?

          • Wezza

            Two more aimed at Monk…

            Comment ignored.
            (Because he has no comeback)

          • Themoscow72

            We have had other auditors as well as them and sure the accounts are correct as the Finance Directors were top people knew two of them.

          • Tweed Mag

            Name them.

        • Wezza

          “I pride myself on telling the truth”

          Like you did about your family ostracizing you?

          Like you did about “That Monkseaton chap”

          • Themoscow72

            The article I wrote in the Chronicle said my mother, father and brother stopped going matches as they thought Seymour and McKeag were bad news. However I carried on
            so no major fall out. As for that Monkseaton bloke he is a good chap goes to every game. Knowing him he will be there at Blackburn no doubt about it. He has 531 loyalty points that chap very good indeed.

          • Wezza

            Do you see that Monkseaton chap in the mirror? Seriously give it a rest, everyone knows who you were.

          • JohnnyH

            FFS

          • Wezza

            Leazes has just good and proper busted you!
            Thats why Fleckman and your MM name got banned at the same time that’s why they had the same IP address!
            I did actually say this before but I do sympathise with the family thing, but please doing all this trolling stuff just isn’t helping. There’s lots of hobbies out there why dont you take something up?

          • Leazes.

            That’s his raison d’etat…..

            Look at his twitter account….. he lives to sidle-up then snide…. then sodsoff….

          • Wezza

            Like a true coward.

          • Themoscow72

            Fleckman is his own person and lives in Yorkshire. I live in Monkseaton. I do not do twitter facebook or any other social media apart from the Mag so Leazes is talking rubbish as usual.

        • Toon Arnie

          Good stuff. Could you give us the facts on where the tv money has gone this season ?

    • graham18

      we have booked you into St.Nicks hospital,jubilee road Newcastle ne3 3xt for an assessment

    • JohnnyH

      Monk have you got a plate in your skull or some kind of syndrome?

    • Toon Arnie

      He put nothing in. He loaned himself the money and will take it all back when he is serious about selling the club. He saved himself some interest payments and then cheated the club out of advertising revenue. In the meantime the tv money disappears season after season and we now see survival as success.
      He spent heavily in one window out of 23. You and Pezza seem to be the only two people still fooled by this.
      Super Fan – ha ha yeah right. As i’ve said before ( and you continually hide away from it ) you support the Regime THEN the team. Hardly a super fan really ?

    • GToon

      TV money? £120 million?

  • gallowgate26

    Richard Keys suggesting that the manager buys the club players out of his own wages really is laughable. Nurse, nurse, Richard hasn’t been taking his medication again.

    • Carl Marks

      “Richard hasn’t been taking his medication,because he’s been too busy taking his daughter’s friend”

  • Mark

    This is everything I have said since Kinear came back for the 2nd time and it breaks my heart

  • Sickandtired

    Appointed Jimenez, Wise, Llambias, and drove KK out. Relegated. Promotion, then sack Houghton. Appoint Joker, twice. Then Pardew, Carver (three close relegation calls), McClaren. Rafa approached the club, not the other way around. Rafa presented a plan, not the other way around. Rafa makes the club £20 mil profit on transfers but can’t get players he needs and wants. Fatty’s net spend in his entire 11 years here, amounts to £8 million. Yes, we have so so much to be thankful for don’t we?.

    • Leazes.

      £8m spent in 11 years…..you could never tell looking at the squad.

  • Kenny

    Can`t be bovvered with anything Mike`s Mafia have to say

  • Carl Marks

    Did the homeless tell you to “fack off” when you distributed Ashley’s tat?
    “Don’t you think our lives are bad enough,without you giving us stuff that was produced in a dangerous factory in Indonesia – a place where the poor bastards are paid five pence per annum?!!”
    Moscow’s defence of the Fourth Reich,leads me to think he’s been exposed to Novichok and lost control of his faculties!

  • Carl Marks

    Let’s all break wind on Fatty’s face?

    • BigHairyDog

      Why stop there, follow through…

      • Carl Marks

        a nice sloppy dollop of steamy diarrhoea!!

        • Leazes.

          I just come here for the intellectual input.

          • Carl Marks

            I do normally –
            however sometimes it’s great to engage in gutter,non PC humour(“humor” if you’re American)!!
            It tempers the hatred

  • Alan Pardew

    You have to pay a lot of respect to Mike, we’ve had a couple of phone calls during the window and we could have cashed in on a couple of our players but he didn’t and I thank him for that and our fans should thank him too.

  • Taz

    Didn’t read the article as I can’t be bothered by any thing that starts with thatfatwankers name….. MIKETHE PRICKASHLEY SHOULD BE SECTIONED would make a better headline

  • Carl Marks

    There is no evidence whatsoever,
    that the club hierarchy were involved in the Brexit negotiations!!
    Any resemblance to the way they’ve ran our club and the shambolic way Brexit has been handled,is pure coincidence!!