Andy Carroll set for a move back to Newcastle United.

News that greets you every year as you take down the Christmas decorations.

The only amazing thing is that it has taken three days into the transfer window before somebody claims this is going to happen, again, and again, and again.

Andy Carroll turns 30 on Sunday and has scored three Premier League goals in the past 21 months in between long spells of lying down in the treatment room.

You can obviously see why this is exactly what Newcastle would need in the final months of the season…

The embarrassing claims are carried by the Express.

Their story claiming that a swap deal could be on the cards for Jonjo Shelvey.

So would that be them offering £15m for Shelvey or £25m plus Andy Carroll?

andy carroll

Shelvey hasn’t been at his best due to injuries and lack of form but if Newcastle are going to survive he has a key part to play this season, especially with Ki Sung-yeung away until February.

As for Carroll, he shuffled around last night for 45 minutes before being subbed for West Ham, his first Premier League start in exactly 12 months.

Surely the only way that anybody would take Andy Carroll on now is on a pay as you go basis, which in reality would end up in not many games and not much money having to be shelled out.

The Express – Thursday 3 January 2019:

‘Carroll returned to first team action last night against Brighton but toiled for 45 minutes before being hooked.

The nine-time England international is one of the top earners at the club but has been blighted by injuries throughout his career.

The 29-year-old has made just one start and six substitute appearances all season without finding the net.

His contract is up in the summer and West Ham are now looking at ways to cut their losses before losing him on a free.

Reliable West Ham news source @ExWHUemployee tweeted that he’d been told the club were looking at a deal with Newcastle that would include Shelvey coming in return.

Newcastle are desperate for more fire power and a return to the north would appeal to Carroll.

@ExWHUemployee was asked if the club were going to be able to ship Carroll out this month.

And he said: “Well I heard yesterday we were trying to do a swap deal with Jonjo Shelvey from someone at the ground (told you I would tweet it) although that was the first I had heard of it so not sure how much substance there is.“

Shelvey has started just eight times this season despite Newcastle’s struggles and West Ham are looking at options to bolster their midfield.’

  • drc74

    every transfer window without fail, 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

  • Mr_Kinnear

    It will be a good signing for the physios. I expect masdive amounts of over time for them

  • We’ll support you evermore

    Carroll is a free agent at end of the season so this makes no sense.

  • Paul Patterson

    Jesus Christ- That living room.

    Clearly £80k a week buys you rubbish décor . .

    • We’ll support you evermore

      That’s what happens when you shack up with an ex towie. These people🤑🤯 live in a different world, a world I wouldn’t want to be in.

    • Leicester Mag

      I thought it was the inside of Monk’s lift.

  • X,WHY,Y MAN.

    All joking aside, This type of half a**ed move is something Ashley and his minions would try to do.
    Thinking that bringing back an injury prone ex player would silence those Daft Geordie’s and get them on side.

    • Paul Patterson

      The thing is, every man and his dog can see it would be the biggest waste of money since the Luque/Owen deals . .

      • Kenny

        Along with at least another 10 or so already on the books

      • We’ll support you evermore

        Your mate wezza yesterday on a different article reckoned Owen was an exciting/money well spent signing….. I disagreed…… he then called me monk and blocked me, classic wezza!

        • Paul Patterson

          My mate?

          • Wezza

            That’s Realist, the troll.

          • We’ll support you evermore

            But you said I was monk yesterday. You don’t know your a r s e from your elbow. Still not blocked me yet I see!

  • 5floorshigh

    you report the article as embarrassing, but more embarrassing is that you write a report about the said embarrassing article, most of your reporting is based upon embarrassing articles…..either write something interesting or shut up !

    • tom

      How very WELL said 5.
      These articles of late are a joke from the fast becoming a joke mag

  • Leicester Mag

    One day in a galaxy far far away Newcastle will line up 4-4-2 with Andy Carroll and Bas Dost up front but only when Monk lets them out of the lift.

    • Kenny

      Rafa assured him in the lift last night that Perez was subbed because we need him on top form for the Cup on Saturday.

    • Squintytoonarmy

      There would be no room in the lift as Monk would have his 11 mates with him (the extra tickets he bought for Wolves)

  • Kenny

    Would i take a fully fit Carroll, yes because in a Black & White shirt and barring another injury he`s a different animal, as for Shelvey leaving that`s a non starter.
    he isn`t match fit by some way.

  • TeessideMag

    So someone took two different things… Them trying to offload Carrol before his contract ends.. And them being interested in Shelvey and combined the two. What a load of rubbish, surely writing it you would think.. Hang on, this is f**King ridiculous. An injury prone financial disaster with 6 months on his contract, swapped for arguably our best midfielder… Makes total sense. Weapon.

  • robbersdog

    We’re playing Blackburn at the weekend; what happened to Adam Armstrong? He doesn’t seem to have played a game this season.

    As for Carroll coming to our place – apart from the fact that his family are very settled down South, he’s on the kind of money that Ashley would never pay. It’s a load of rubbish.

  • Tommy

    What about Charlie Austin or Danny Ings

    • We’ll support you evermore

      No offence but why or how could we get Danny ings he’s on loan from Liverpool to Southampton. And Charlie Austin is from Poole 30 mins along the road so very much doubt he is going to want to move to Newcastle, plus he’s always injured. At Southampton away this season I spoke to a lad who knows him and he told me that Austin when mcclaren was here was his top target, that we had a fee agreed and he was travelling up to Newcastle when apparently we decided to change the fee and drop it due to his injury problems, then the deal fell through. All just hear say. I don’t think Newcastle would be a good club for Austin anyway due to our nightlife.

      • Tommy

        Can you not see sarcasm

        • We’ll support you evermore

          My mistake, but you never know sometimes with some on here.

          • KennySamsung

            Relax, you might surprise yourself and crack a few funnies ya self

          • We’ll support you evermore

            Ay mate your right, his comment was side splitting.

          • KennySamsung

            Like I said relax 😉

          • We’ll support you evermore

            I struggle to relax. I’m too much of a (cough) Realist… Whimsy and irony are not my friends

        • KennySamsung


    • Paul Patterson

      Or Bas Dost . .

  • tom

    Anyone with a pulse will do.

  • Kneebotherm8

    We now await the next load of bull💩 transfer story…..

    • New Durham Mags

      Daniel Sturrage will be tomorrows next fantasy dreamt up by a chimp with a laptop.

      • Kneebotherm8

        I’m laughing………but….

        • New Durham Mags

          he could be this years slimani, doumbia de- jong ……. the list is endless to be honest.
          christ the Andy carrol thing could actually be true if its another loan deal for a broken striker deal us in

      • DZA

        he’s been offered a new deal at Liverpool.

  • Wezza

    At least KBA PR is humorous!!!

  • Viru leckworth

    Of all the managers in all the world, the one least likely to sanction such a move is Rafa Benitez. Thankfully.

  • Mrkgw

    Hilarious rumour but, swaps is about the sum of things for us now. Ashleys Newcastle gets ever weaker. I do wonder whether he would sooner see the club dissolve than have us enjoy any aspect of supporting the circus. Horrible and easy to despise bloke.

  • JohnnyH

    Andy Carroll could get injured appearing on Question of Sport.

  • GToon

    All that your u need to read into this story of “Shelvey swap with either Carroll or Cairney” is that it indicates Rafa has got no money and the only way he can get somebody in is by letting go of one of our few decent players. Laschelles has signed a big contract so he will be the one sold at the end of the window but Shelvey is the bait at the start of the window. If we were a bigger club like Burnley or Brighton or Bournemouth we would be able to use the riches of the TV money to develop our squad.

  • glassjawsh-got-banned

    Surprised it took 3 days for this to get drudged up. I wonder how Bad Dost is doing?

  • andrew baron

    Now if we could only stitch Andy’s head onto the Hoss’s body we might just have a player.

    • deadtrail 74

      Sounds like Frankenstein’s Monster!!!!

  • mactoon

    His manager has now come out and told the truth about the sale rumours. It’s a shame Kenyon couldn’t do the same!

  • deadtrail 74

    Would swap lee Charnley for Carroll. 👍😀