When football players stray from talking about…football, it often doesn’t end well.

Thursday saw Jamaal Lascelles calling for a united front in the battle against relegation but in the process talked about ‘Nice Guy’ Mike Ashley. The captain calling for fans not to protest/boycott and instead just turn up and support the team.

Unfortunately, those fan tactics haven’t worked too well so far this season.

It was a very badly orchestrated Mike Ashley PR stunt overall with Jamaal Lascelles the pawn in the middle of it.

To a great fanfare the club announced that the NUFC captain had agreed a morale boosting new six year contract – all very lame as Lascelles still had five years remaining of the six year deal he’d signed only last October (2017).

The idea of Mike Ashley being part of any united front is laughable for fans, his divide and rule tactics have continually split the club.

One example of just how long this Ashley reign has lasted, is the fact that Jamaal Lascelles was only 13 years old when the owner took over NUFC in 2007.

He (Lascelles) was only 14 when Mike Ashley appointed Dennis Wise to undermine and force out Kevin Keegan, he would have been more concerned about acne and girls than the situation at Newcastle a decade ago, never mind form an opinion.

However, in more recent years, as an adult and a Newcastle United player, Lascelles should have come to understand what Mike Ashley is all about.

Ironically, whilst the captain is saying Newcastle fans shouldn’t protest/boycott, only this summer Jamaal Lascelles led the players in a battle with the owner because he (Mike Ashley) was refusing (once again) to agree a bonus structure in line with rival Premier League clubs. Indeed, Jamaal and the rest of the players going to the lengths of actually boycotting media duties (including Sky Sports and even the club’s own media!) until the NUFC owner agreed to the players’ demands.

This summer also saw Mike Ashley going through another classic routine with the fans.

Firstly, putting season ticket prices up in every section of St James Park.

Secondly, insisting on a £20m+ profit on transfer deals in and out.

Thirdly, taking £10m out of the club after the transfer deadline had passed.

The net result is a squad lacking investment in the relegation zone with no wins in 10 games and a very unhappy fanbase.

How then, Mike Ashley would fulfil any role in a United front is a mystery to most of us.

The connection between manager, players and fans is what will get Newcastle out of trouble this season, if indeed they do.

Seeing Mike Ashley turn up again at matches and take Rafa & the players out for a pizza, has at best been a sideshow and at worst a distraction.

The best club owners are those who simply get on with backing their managers and you rarely hear of them or see them.

Newcastle fans look forward to the day that this happens and we have a true united front.



  • Leazes.

    We have an owner who was introduced as a recluse who then sat amongst fans quaffing beer lifting his shirt up to show his belly for the front page of the Journal….

    …. and now if you go to the current events page of Newsnow Ashley has his own section alongside Trump and other world disasters….. not one bit of news associated with him is anything good…..

    ….. high street buyouts are a prelude to closures and asset strips to ‘save failing business’…. his words are fake, the ‘Arrods of the High Street’….. believe that one when you see it!

    • Realist

      Trump still winning

    • Superdooperhooper

      There’s a report on the BBC news site about ashley’s retail empire. Apparently he once called SD the selfridges of sport !

  • Paul Patterson

    It’s another case of getting away with as little as possible to garner as big a plus as possible.

    Ashley: So what else can we do to make it look like I’m doing something well for this bloody club?
    Bishop: I know, we could give the captain a new contract.
    Ashley: Wooooaah! That’s going to cost me and didn’t we do that just last year?
    Bishop: Yeah we did but we could just offer him a one year extension.
    Ashley: Explain further.
    Bishop: We offer the minimum possible extension to the deal, with a token increase in wage.
    Ashley: How much is a token increase?
    Bishop: Oh, about £15k a week or so.
    Ashley: I don’t know, over five years that sounds expensive.
    Bishop: Here’s the genius behind it Mike. We offer Jamaal only an extra year on his contract with the slight increase in wage, then that will increase his selling price by £20m or so.
    Ashley: Really?
    Bishop: Then we release the info to the press and it makes it look like you are investing in the playing squad.
    Ashley: Ooooo.
    Bishop: Then if needs be we can sell Jamaal at a later date for near £60m.
    Ashley: Now you’re talking. I’m still getting called names though.
    Bishop: Mmmm, that’s a tough one. (Long pause) I know, we’ll get Jamaal to call you a nice guy in his comments to the press.
    Ashley: My god, you ARE a genius. Now where’s the nearest fireplace?

    • Peaky

      Very good….were you there ???

      • Paul Patterson

        Bishop also said that the timing would be crucial.
        Bishop: We’ll do it just before a home game to garner maximum support.
        Ashley: How does that work?
        Bishop: Well it’ll deflect attention from anything non-Newcastle that you want to do.
        Ashley: So I could go out next week and buy a cycling shop?
        Bishop: If you like.
        Ashley: And can I threaten to knock a fan out?
        Bishop: If you must.
        Ashley: Jesus, get Jamaal in here right now. And get that bleeding fire place cleaner round pronto.

    • 45709

      Brilliant 😂 are you writing the film adaption? Lol

    • Wezza

      That really is spot on!

    • Realist

      Too much time on ya hands mate.