Newcastle United…what will happen next?

Well, if Mike Ashley is still here, we know it won’t be anything good.

The latest official Newcastle United Fans Forum was a total embarrassment, at least in terms of the minutes that the club pushed out (eventually) afterwards.

What I took out of the Fans Forum minutes, was that NUFC are officially now the ‘If Only’ club.

A football club that could really push forward and succeed, ‘If Only’ we didn’t have all this bad luck…

Obstacles that appear which block Mike Ashley’s best intentions…

If only £20m+ players had been interested in signing for Newcastle this summer, the biggest buy wouldn’t have been £9.5m Yoshinori Muto.

If only some £20m+ players had wanted to sign for Newcastle this summer, Mike Ashley wouldn’t have then taken money out of the club.

If only outside companies were interested in buying  all the advertising opportunities inside St James Park , there wouldn’t be any S….. D….. presence.

If only decent quality players didn’t want market level wages, Newcastle would have signed them this summer.

If only there was proof it definitely would produce first team players, Mike Ashley would invest in the Academy.

If only Newcastle United didn’t have to prioritise cash spent elsewhere (Mike Ashley taking it out) the state of the art training complex promised in 2013 would be built now.

If only if it wasn’t for the actions of fans and media, Mike Ashley would have sold the club by now.

If only somebody was willing to pay Mike Ashley’s asking price, he would sell Newcastle United.


  • Wor Lass

    If only there was a game this weekend – we might have some articles worth reading!

    • Peaky

      Couldn’t agree more Wor Lass…it’s all shyte….how’s France ???

      • Wor Lass

        The finger of fudge one wasn`t bad! France is quite wet at the mo after months of baking hot, dry weather. Its been great for concreting and drinking cold beers outside.

        • grantham mag

          Concreting have you got a hole big enough to Bury a fat lad from Buckinghamshire.

          • Wor Lass

            I`ve got three different areas so if he was chopped up a bit …

    • wheyayeman

      Like Paul Merson / Micheal Owen predicts followed by an add for bet victor kind of articles or do you pefer cut and paste ‘interesting comments from our insert next league opponents fans’ kind of articles?

      • Wor Lass

        You mean “very interesting” articles!

  • JohnnyH

    I’m just waiting for the usual suspects to jump on this with their pro Ashley $hite

  • mactoon

    All valid points coming out from the minutes under the banner of ‘deflection of truth’.

    “You will never get the truth out of a Narcissist. The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain.”

    Ring any bells?

    Good observations Jane

  • Leazes.

    Does the club still own the stadium?

    • JohnnyH

      The council retained the freehold

      • Leazes.

        The stadium not the land….can’t you tell the difference?

        The land is the bit with the worms in it….the stadium is the bit with the sheep in it.

        • JohnnyH

          Like I said the fat one owns the stadium or sheepfold if that’s what you’d like to call it


        • kingfisher

          Excellent Leazes 👏👏👏👍👍👍😁😁😁

    • Carverlier football

      Wondering about the Newco companies…? As at July 2017 the carrying value of land and buildings in the accounts was over £60m so that must include the stadium. Who knows what’s happened since then though…

  • BigHairyDog

    If only Ashley had choked on his pizza…

  • Waxi

    Lets cheers wa sells up lads n lasses. Just think if Kenyon is still working on a deal with fatty we might all wake up christmas morn with the best present ever. Now a na yu might think av had a knock on the heed but yu just neva na. We live in hope.

  • Danimal

    Jane, to the untrained eye that reads a bit like sarcasm.

    • JohnnyH

      Waiting for the clarko/pezza person to sanctimoniously inform us how much of this is actually the reality.

      • Danimal

        Like all flat-earthers, they don’t do irony.

  • grantham mag

    IF only some one would place two rounds in Mike Ashley fat head if only if only if only, we can all dream.

    • Leazes.

      If only we knew someone who had their feet in the mustard bath of the dark arts….

  • Leazes.

    I see that Mag writers Jonathan Drape-Comyn’s classmate Mathew Hedges has been detained in the UAE for five months for suspected spying.

    I was always dubious about Jonathan’s strange activities at West Ham then dashing to Ireland to watch United’s reserves training….

    Jonathan could you get one of your mates to bump off Ashley?

    • Ram Kishore

      U love stalking people and their personal lives?
      Not a problem, few like u get turned on by it I suppose..
      it’s understandable. I try not to Judge.
      Cyber stalking is one thing but revealing and spreading these info. Seems like u do it for pleasure.
      At times u seem totally fine and intelligent with comments about Ashley’s failings, mistakes, lies etc but now u r pathetic.

      • Themoscow72

        On a brighter note the chap Jonathan stood in the queue at Waterson’s in London for four hours turned up at the Irish Club last night with a signed copy by Keegan to auction for the foodbanks to help those in need.

  • Themoscow72

    A member of the Dean Wilkins and Chris Holt school of thought with your article
    that the cracks are beginning to appear in Newcastle United’s support. I suppose all three of you are in the Harry Potter fan club and I would imagine founder members.
    After paying sixty two pounds for the Spurs, Arsenal and Chelsea games for seats together and a staggering fifty five pounds for the Leicester match the only cracks are in my bank balance.
    Now to your article. We did bid £23m for a striker and offered higher wages than the club he went to but the player turned us down so what could the club do.
    While the Halls and Shepherds regularly took wages, dividends and bonuses out each year up to five million Ashley chooses to take nothing but that is his choice.
    Now this is the comical part of your article. Ashley has loaned us £144m so it is his money in affect. So if he takes some of it back it just reduces the size of the loan
    and also the sale price of the club. If we can reduce the loan even further it is great news as it will attract more buyers. I wish other people would lend the club money on the scale Mike has done a very generous interest free loan to see us through dark times.

    • Lostprofit DBC

      Yes he loaned his own club money to avoid him having to pay interest on any debt. Helped keep the money in the bank for Tax free removal before purchasing HOF.

  • Lostprofit DBC

    If only someone rich and trustworthy could see our true potential.

    • Leazes.

      Better to change the law on club ownership so we don’t need to look for one.