I have never submitted anything to The Mag before but feel compelled to…

How many of us received the gift from Newcastle United last week?

Probably every season ticket holder; a box containing a pen and four club badges to remind us that #weareunited (pictured).

This followed on from last seasons ‘gift’, which I seem to remember was a plastic wallet which went straight into the bin.

I would imagine that numerous 2018 gifts have gone the same way. What a joke and an insult sending such an item bearing the #weareunited logo!

Never have we been so disunited, the disunity and way the club is being run is the sole topic of conversation whenever I seem to speak to anyone.

I’m in my 60s and still go to the matches with lads that I started going with in 1966 (Wyn Davies’ debut, a 0-3 loss at home to Sunderland).

We all live in different towns now and have sons who now accompany us to the match and to the pub to console ourselves. An excellent day out, spoilt normally between 3-5pm and a father/son tradition that none of us are keen to bring to an end.

Of course some will say that we just contribute to the problem….Opinions, opinions, opinions. There are lots of good opinions around at present.

I recently watched Life of Brian, the great Monty Python film. It made me think that although there are lots of ideas out there on how to improve things by ridding ourselves of this cancerous regime, what we really need is a figurehead; someone who everyone trusts and will follow. I can think of a couple of such figures without even trying.

My own idea??

A non-attendance for a Sky televised match is an excellent idea, as is walking out at a set time. Has anyone thought though about ridding ourselves of the insulting ‘gift’ by lobbing the item onto the cinder track/pitch at a set time?  The match would have to be stopped and the publicity would be massive.

newcastle united

I appreciate that throwing an item onto the pitch is a criminal offence but I can guarantee that 45,000 people wouldn’t be banned/prosecuted for gently relieving themselves of the item a couple of feet onto the pitch.

Just another suggestion to the dozens flying around.

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  • Andynufc

    I thought the same when I received mine, that everyone should have taken it to the Leicester game and threw their pens onto the pitch in protest. From where I’am sitting in the Gallowgate tho, I don’t think I would have been able to throw that far and probably would have ended up putting some poor bairns eye out lol.

  • Kenny

    Seems the pub is the best part of match days under the Rat
    🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺.
    at the final whistle i usually pour a stiff 1 and say, F##k it lost again.

  • Kevin Christie

    How about the old classic of launching toilet rolls onto the pitch? Would be safe and would get the game stopped!

    • Leazes.

      I remember toilet rolls…. it would have to be ‘Izal for men’ less friction with the air……the new quilted ones wouldn’t go so far but would leave a nice smell of aloe vera.

      • Paul Patterson

        Aloe Vera? A new striker?

        • Leazes.

          You don’t shop I take it.

      • kingfisher

        Yes Leazes,I remember Izal very well.It came in two types : rough and aaaarrgghh 🤣

        • East Durham Mag

          Izal the John Wayne of toilet roll “hard as nails and takes no sh*t”

        • Jezza

          Ha ha, yes. Takes me right back to the school bogs in the 70’s.

  • Carverlier football

    “We are united”. Except for the owner whose motivations are entirely different from everybody else’s. Hardly a good example Mike – unless we should all change to his point of view and start celebrating the benefits SD gets from the arrangement…

  • Paul Patterson

    Drop them off at Milburn reception at the Brighton game..

  • Waxi

    WTF are we supposed to do with these badges. I don’t think i have ever worn badges so what made some divvy at the toon think i along with forty odd thousand other toon fans we would want a box full of draw fillers. I get free pens from the chippy for gods sake this is just a waste of money. If the FCB thinks we are united he is much mistaken.

  • panther

    thats worth a 20%hike

    • Pezza

      Is your seat in the Platty?

      • panther

        stopped going a decade ago

        • panther

          used to be the leazes where the away fans are now, turnstile 92

    • Jezza

      Precisely. They are not even free. The cost will have been added to the price of the season tickets in the first place.

  • mactoon

    I would have sent it back with a note saying “we are all united in the hope that you will sell the club”.

    I totally disagree with throwing anything on or near the pitch, especially metal badges and pens due to the risk of injury but I do get the sentiment.

    • porciestreet

      Lob em on there at half time then all go home .
      No-one gets hurt…!

      • Waxi

        Cracking idea.

        • mactoon

          until one is missed during the clean up and a player goes in for a sliding tackle and ends up with a pen stuck in his leg. Not a cracking idea!

          • Realist

            Brains of Britain these lot man. All gan on like a bunch of kids 😂 there comical and pathetic.

          • Waxi

            how the hell are they going to miss a black and white box

          • mactoon

            If the pens are thrown onto the pitch without the box the stewards could miss one, that could injure a player. If the metal badges or pens are thrown onto the pitch during a game (without the box) it could hit a fan or player. Would you condone a fan throwing a pound coin onto the pitch which could hurt a fan or player. What would you think if you or one of your kids was injured by a fan throwing a projectile ?????????

          • Waxi

            From every part of the ground you can get down to pitch level so no fan would be in danger if they were thrown on as fans were leaving from that level. i’m sure the game would be halted as that would be the purpose of the demo and the pitch would be cleared and checked. Throwing a projectile like a pound coin is a danger to all and should be condemned but we are talking about a black and white box that is clearly visible. Your right i would not want a child/grandchild of mine injured but if the protest was done in the correct way why not let the fat man know what we think of his idea.

          • mactoon

            I’m not talking about a box. Believe me, fans wouldn’t take the box, the would take the pens and badges out of the box and throw them in the general direction of the pitch from where they are sitting which means they would not reach the pitch and as you agree, throwing a projectile is a danger to all and should be condemned . You can’t get down to pitch level due to seating restrictions so the threat of throwing pens, metal badges would pose a threat to the public due to them not being able to reach the pitch.

            I really can’t understand why you are condoning throwing metal objects in the general direction of the pitch when it could hurt men women and children and give the fans a bad name

          • Waxi

            This ain’t going to happen any way but i disagree as if i was to give fatty back what he sent me it would be in the box. A fan throwing a box from a distance would be stupid if it was the from an upper level but from pitch side i could not see a problem with the idea if it was organised right. BTW as i stated anybody throwing a projectile needs condemned and banned.

          • Waxi

            I am not condoning anything and it ain’t going to happen any way.

          • nufcslf

            What a total soft shyt world we live in. I would hate to see any of ypu lot if a earthquke happened.

          • nufcslf

            Can’t find a black and white shirt on the pitch….look at possession stats….so a box could easily be missed.

          • Sing in the Leazes

            at least we’d have seen a Newcastle player get a pen for once

      • Ram Kishore

        I totally disagree. There are many ways to protest , walkout, shouting before the match or after.
        Why throw when there is surely a possibility of someone getting hurt, even one of the fans.

        • nufcslf

          The place is a f**king morgue at the best of times. Now that it is full of sheep as well, there goes any walking and shouting.

  • Dillon Tovak

    Everyone should hand them in to an artist who can weld them together to form a “FU(K MIKE ASHLEY” sculpture.
    Which should then be installed outside SJP.

  • Realist

    Cani little pen like, use it everyday at work.

    • porciestreet

      Realist my are. .. you’re so easily bought and paid for…a trailer to the cause.
      FAT MAN OOT. HWTL.

      • Realist

        It writes wonderfully captain birdseye

  • Themoscow72

    I thought it was a great gesture by the club and will be sending one to the Flamingo Oasis Hotel in Benidorm as the receptionist is Newcastle daft. One will take pride of place in the office at work and the rest I received will go to people who did not receive them. I love the badges all my mates just wear small badges as none of us would dream of wearing a top.

    • FatParosite

      So easily bought…. fits the last piece of the jigsaw as to why you morons are still going and paying Ashley to rape NUFC.

      • Wezza

        Looks like a troll, sounds like monkseaton:
        ” just bought five tickets, three for the Leazes sports bar at £45 each and two in the Platinum club at £55 each so 5 tickets cost £245.”
        “The only seats left are single seats in the family enclosure which you can’t buy.”

        BLOCKED!

        • Pezza

          I’m sure he’ll miss your intelecintel wit.

          • Big Hairy Man

            Bad spellers ov the wurld unight

    • nufcslf

      But the club and football is complete and utter f**king shyt. Not that any of that matter’s of course. What a joke. I would have sent it straight back with, “F**k off you pysh taking fat [email protected]”, written on it.

  • FatParosite

    Chatty is as chatty does.

  • Callum

    Mind… the pen does write well.

    • Leazes.

      Haven’t pen gift sets gone the way of cufflinks and soap on a rope…..and badges, I mean who wears badges?….

      ….probably why he’s giving them away….overstocked 70s stocking fillers.

  • Mike D

    Terrible idea.

  • Wezza

    Disgusting PR stunt to quell the fans’ protests.

    • Realist

      They send something out every season wizza

      • Pezza

        He’d not know, he’s a glory hunter

        • Big Hairy Man

          And you are a wind up merchant/troll

          • Pezza

            No, just live in the real world

  • Pezza

    My mate got one, it really is rather nice.

    • Big Hairy Man

      No it isn’t.

      • Pezza

        It is, quite classy.

        • Big Hairy Man

          Isn’t

  • Geordiegiants

    My idea is everyone take an a4 sheet of paper / card with simply “GET OUT” written on it. At a set time hold them up, then when that is done turn them into paper aeroplanes and throw them on the pitch.

  • kingfisher

    I take your point about having an excellent day out Grant, but surely you could still meet friends and family without actually going into SJP ? As you say, the day is normally spoilt during 3-5 anyway so I’m sure you could have an even better day by not entering SJP 🤣

  • Bosworthgeordie

    Prior KK arriving as manager I gave up on attending SJP given the lack of ambition and quality. However, keen to spend time with my late father, we both spent matchdays watching rivals Sunderland at Roker Park during their last 3rd Div season. As football fans we enjoyed the games absent of any stress of needing to watch the home side win. This didn’t make me a Sunderland fan but enabled me to have wonderful days with my father. I have lived away from NE since 1972 and l don’t see me getting back into SJP any year soon.