Estate Agent:- ‘So Mr Ashley, why do you want to sell your house?’

Mike Ashley:- ‘Well, to tell you the truth, I’ve had a few problems.

‘I’ve been meaning to underpin the foundations for a few years and now it’s causing the property to subside quite a bit.

‘It also needs some double glazing that the tenants (that I can’t stand by the way) keep moaning on to me about.

‘And I’ve ploughed money into some other property elsewhere because I don’t really care about this one. I’ve also hung some advertising on the side of the building that gives me benefits but annoys the tenants.

‘I’ve got this cracking (team/squad) builder, who I’ve been less than honest with in the past, but I’m refusing to give him the money to do the property up until he signs a contract promising he’ll do the work.

‘Oh and I’m being pressured by councillors because they don’t think I’m a fit and proper landlord and show the neighbourhood in a bad light.’

I can see the estate agent relishing selling that house and people flocking to pay a premium for it . .

Maybe it’s becoming a bit of a hassle for him?

Maybe he sees that this season could be a tipping point, where lack of investment will finally deal the club too savage a blow?

Maybe Ashley is looking to sell just at the right time for him before the whole thing comes crashing down?

After all, it’s better to get (a new reported asking price of) £300m now than let the club drop into the Championship, lose Rafa Benitez and some of the better players, and risk that figure halving itself.

Quite possibly the excellent pressure applied on his retail empire has worked and that last week’s shenanigans at the S….. D….. AGM have been another straw on the camel’s back. Once shareholders start telling you that maybe all this negative press, that you’ve been the sole cause of, is not good for the company, even if you’re the majority shareholder, you are obliged to listen. Even if you’re as stubborn, greedy and belligerent as Mike Ashley.

On the other hand there are reasons not to believe the club is to be sold. The main one is that nobody selling something, tells people what they want for it, for if they do, the price drops.

If you state that the club is up for sale for say £300m, any potential buyer would surely go in lower. If a house is put up for sale at £100k, anybody in their right mind would test the water at £90k or even less, knowing that you probably won’t get it for that but after some bargaining you will make a bit of a saving to spend on the carpets or the furniture. If the roof needs fixing then that adds scope to negotiate the price down and it’s obvious to anyone that the Newcastle United ‘house’ needs some considerable work doing to it. After all: strikers, full backs, training grounds and academies don’t come cheap.

Mike Ashley also has the pressing matter of Kevin Keegan to once again contend with. Early next month his book comes out and I’m sure it will contain a few juicy morsels of information on his constructive dismissal from the club in 2008. What better time for Ashley and his minions to, oh I don’t know, take some heat off the situation by releasing a story about something, like say a possible takeover? He’s been pulling stunts like this for years.

As recently as last Winter, the club was supposedly on the brink of a takeover, £300m-350m was the estimate (sound familiar?) only for no deal to be agreed, no money spent in January and minimal/no funds available for the following summer. An ingenius way to keep the £100m+ TV money every year isn’t it?

So for the time being, I’d take any rumour of a potential takeover with a huge pinch of salt. It won’t happen for the £400m+ figure that was bandied about last year and as he’s a greedy businessman, he won’t want to sell it for too low either, so a price of £300m and upwards sounds about right. That is probably where the club finds itself value wise.

The message is simple, keep ramping up the pressure at the owner’s tat shops and their subsidiaries anyway. The heat is on and despite what his PR may think and say, it’s having an effect.

A final word from Kevin Keegan:

“I look forward to the day when Newcastle is free of the man who has lurched from one bad decision to another, run an empire of self-harm and handed money and power to people who deserved neither.”

Amen to that. Mike Ashley is a parasite that once rid of, the club stands a chance of succeeding. While he’s here, it doesn’t.

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  • Ashley-out

    The protests need to be kept up every home game, keep hitting Sports Direct as that is all the parasite is interested in.

    • Kevin Christie

      The protests have been a great start and are getting media attention, which is great. They need to continue and even be ramped up and become more regular if possible but what MUST happen is a BOYCOTT of a televised home game.
      It’s the logical and necessary next step. If it had been done years ago then MA might not have taken us for a ride for as long as he has. What on earth have we got to lose!? Cracks are appearing and we need to show a UNITED front to finally flush him out….!

      • AbusedCourier

        With everyone wearing plain white t-shirts with “Ashley Out” emblazoned across the front for all the t.v. audience to see.

  • Ron

    Great article Paul. One of the best reads in “The Mag” for a while.

    Well done. (The drinks are on Kenny)

    • Kenny

      Why not 🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃

  • Peaky

    I’d love it….just love it…..if KK back on the scene is the start of his downfall…..KEEEEEEGAN…

  • Cockneytrev

    He has no intention of selling,, same old garbage his PR people have been releasing for 10 years,,,,
    Here’s a question for the journalist who keep releasing these supposed insider scoops,,, why don’t you do some proper journalism and look deeply into the workings of this odious man? Maybe then you could class yourselves as journalist!!!!

    • Sickandtired

      Mark Douglas a journalist? PMSL! He told us he knows the identity of one of the interested parties – PCP. Well, unless anyone has been under a rock since last year then probably the whole country knew that already.
      Otherwise he suggests someone who knows someone suggested Ashley’s ‘friends’ said….
      No facts. No names. Nothing. If we could get a job just writing down what we think then everyone commenting on here is a journalist too ;-)

  • mactoon

    I’m tending to subscribe to the theory that he thinks releasing this rumour will get rid of the protests and the bad publicity for SD (keep them going!). I hope I’m wrong and he does want to sell but in all of these stories there are no direct quotes from Ashley so I take them all with a pinch of salt. How many times has it come out that the club is up for sale when the fans are restless only for nothing to happen?

    Over to you Ashley, come out and actually say something.

    • Jezza

      You’ve hit the nail on the head. It’s just a ruse to quell the protests, take the pressure off and avoid any bad publicity for S****s D****t.

  • Joe Kinghere

    Ashley has just bought the ailing House of Fraser chain and maybe he wants to concentrate on that and sell the club.

    • Jezza

      I very much doubt it. It was NUFC money that enabled him to make that investment.

      • Sickandtired

        Don’t be silly, Jezza. SD bought HoF, not Ashley personally.

  • Carverlier football

    If we keep the pressure up and are ultimately successful then one of these kinds of reports will eventually be true… I doubt very much it is this time though – keep up the pressure!!

  • Big Hairy Man

    Even in the highly unlikely event that there is any truth in him wanting to sell you can be sure that nothing will be as it seems with this shady regime. There will be no clean break. He is like an infection that keeps recurring. Rangers got rid of Ashley some time ago but the poisonous tentacles of S***** D***** remain entwined in the club and are still strangling it’s commercial revenue. Good to see the Rangers fans now boycotting Sh**e D****t kit in large numbers. If only we would do the same. Buying a replica kit is not supporting the club, it only benefits Ashley.

  • JohnnyH

    I’d like to think he’s starting to feel a bit overstretched, in his business interests.

    S*****D***** 72% drop in profits after Debenhams stake took an £85million hit.
    Vultures circling about corporate governance.
    Shelling out £85 million for HoF.
    Knows the club is likely to be relegated, if millions aren’t made available in January – either of which would add to his financial problems.

    Could this possibly be a business decision; sell the club to consolidate his capital position and keep the wolves from the door?

    • Waxi

      Johnny this year alone he has made 150 million profit plus other player instalments off the back of NUFC so if anything we are the one constant supply of mega money the fat slug gets his hands on. He can gamble on buying a failing high street on the back of NUFC with no hit to his finances. He is a slug simple as.

      • Jezza

        I tend to agree. He is making so much money from NUFC both in direct revenue and indirectly from exposure for his core sweatshop business that it just wouldn’t be worth his while selling the club unless he got some ridiculously outlandish offer, say something well in excess of £500 million.

        • FatParosite

          I don’t think he would sell for even that. The revenue he makes off us totals a quarter of what he says he’s willing to sell for, in 1 year!!! Why would he sell…??

        • Waxi

          Jezza even if we were to be relegated again he knows to spend 50 million and we always have a star to sell to make up most of the spend and to get back up so in fact it costs him now’t. The last time we were relegated he sold Wijnaldum Sissoko etc and made a bomb this time around it would be Lascelles and maybe a couple others so he never loses but the money just keeps on rolling in. The only way we will be shot of him is to go down stay down and never be on TV. The slug can’t lose with us and that is the bit that hurts us all so much.

          • Carverlier football

            I disagree about the relegation view – first time he was lucky we still had a core of determined professionals with character and that Houghton turned out to be a good manager, second time he was lucky he had Rafa staying and a wave of optimism. Spending money in the Championship is no guarantee of promotion, just ask Villa… I reckon it’ll be 3rd time unlucky if we go down again

          • Waxi

            What ever way we look at it we need to hurt where it hurts most and for the slug it’s his money. If we are relegated and don’t come straight back up that would result in less prize money no tv money so no more cash cow that is NUFC instead we will be costing him money which is not what any business wants and the free worldwide advertisement ends. The clubs value will plummet as i don’t know of any club in the championship that would be bought for over 100 million. At the mo it’s great he gets a shed load of cash from NUFC with no outlay and we the club and fans suffer while he laughs his socks off at our expense. We need to cut off his earnings from NUFC IMHO for him to sell

          • Jezza

            You could well be right. I really can’t see us coming straight back up a third time.

            In 09/10 as well as Chris Hughton, we were lucky enough to have a £35 million striker in the form of his career and the best English midfielder in the country.

            In 16/17 we were lucky enough to have one of the best managers in Europe.

            This time round we won’t have any of those things. After the summer window there will be no outstanding players left on our books to set the Championship alight and I don’t think we’ll spend much either. Not when we make a £20 odd million transfer profit when we’ve got £123 million of television money to play with. On top of all that we’ll also have some clown like Pardew as manager. We’ll be lucky not to go straight down again.

          • Jezza

            I can’t see us coming straight back up this time but yes you are right. Fatso is prepared to let us be relegated again in the belief that we’ll bounce straight back as we’ve done twice before.

      • JohnnyH

        Fair point, all I’m saying is that maintaining the needs of a massive financial concern, requires a massive ‘float’, he may be being advised to look at doing a bit of pruning to mitigate further falls in share values.
        I live in hope anyway.

        • Waxi

          You might be spot on Johnny who knows what the slug and his advisors are up to and yes we live in hope.

  • FatParosite

    Stop going round and round and round just because Bishop put out an edict. You’re all suckers….

    • Kenny

      😂

  • Kenny

    The Fat Rats a mad child & likely to spit the dummy out if he`s not getting his own way. at Newcastle he`s a leper & knows it, no matter what he does it can`t repair the damage of the last decade, maybe he is just sick of it all.

  • Kenny

    I read there is only 10 clubs in the prem that can survive without the gate money
    Newcastle are not one of them, stop going and his backs to the wall, starve the vermin from the money & he will go & Ffs stop buying the shirts

    • Loyal

      Have a day off man

      • Kenny

        [email protected]@k off & get a life, troll piece of schitt,
        p.s go make a [email protected] of yourself at the chron

        • Loyal

          Haha your all mouth Kenny. Rich telling me to get a life when your on here morning till night spouting the same tedious comments. You need to go and find a job or a gf or something. You do realise the majority off your week in week out home away fans think the mag is full off sad [email protected] Also I don’t read papers they all talk shyte abit like you.

          • Carverlier football

            Bit of an odd move from you then… “Everyone thinks the Mag’s full of sad [email protected] – I’ll go on there immediately!”

          • SuperDesHamilton

            He gravitates to them because he is one

          • Tweed Mag

            How is it that the apologists resort to abuse and insults when their leader is under pressure? Ah yes, it is because they cannot defend him with reasonable debate. So predictable and so boring.

          • SuperDesHamilton

            So home & away fans the Australian soap talk about a Newcastle website In their spare time? Very odd

          • SuperDesHamilton

            You couldn’t do anything about it anyway. Bet you’ve never been to the end of the street never mind a match

          • Loyal

            It’s the little chiwawa pipping up like always. Season ticket holder for 18 years, on the 07.27 train this Saturday to palace roughly the same time you’ll be posting your first keyboard warrior comment on here

          • SuperDesHamilton

            What a little victim, be a good boy and give Ashley all your money you mug

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Your spelling of chihuahua is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, how backwards are you? You window licker

            Chiwawa what an absolute mong man 😂😂😂😂

          • Loyal

            You’ve got some serious problems you kid, your mother must off been on smack or sumit when she conceived you. Editing your comments man seriously😂 it’s all about how you look to others on here.

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Your spelling man! You were dropped on your head you little pleb that’s a given. And editing? What did I edit you tool

          • SuperDesHamilton

            And how you look to others, a little glake is what you look like, talk absolute wet and do nothing at all. You’re that pathetic you’ve signed in a guest. That’s how embarrassing you are

          • Loyal

            Blah blah blah, it’s the same old script with you, round in circles. I would get blood out of a stone before you would ever man up. I could lay it on a platter for you but you would still hide behind your keyboard Desmond and spout the same old shyte.

          • SuperDesHamilton

            I don’t know who you are, you obviously know who I am and are so spineless and obsessed that you constantly hide behind guest accounts & talk rubbish. So why the hiding then?

          • Loyal

            I could walk past you in the street and wouldn’t know you. You call yourself a former player and have a picture off a tiger and then claim I know who you are and say I hide behind a guest account😂 I can’t stand the modern day keyboard gobshyte like yourself, You messaged me before not the other way round, jog on

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Correct I’m a former player who’s turned into a tiger in his old age, you’ve caught me out….you idiot 🙈

          • Jezza

            The Mag was founded by “week in week out home away fans” back in the days when there were far fewer of us.

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Here comes the resident Uber w**** Jezza. Look at me I went to matches years ago that automatically makes me right and everyone wrong, p####

          • Loyal

            Good on you but it’s full off trolls and people who hate nufc. you seem one of the only ones who talks abit of sense.

          • SuperDesHamilton

            You little wannabe hooligan. Bet you’re the type Of bloke who pretends he’s done all sorts when in fact you’ve done nowt, you couldn’t even put the cat out. Loyal what a pathetic little name

          • Loyal

            😂 you going on how you do and making all these whacky predictions must make you feel better about your own life that’s all I can think. What I’ve never understood about this forum is and this is genuine, how alot on here throw keyboard warrior abuse about but never actually meet each other face to face about aggrievances. Very sad Desmond.

          • Superdooperhooper

            How do you know what the majority think? And anyway it’s the loyal week in week out lot who are the biggest problem . If you keep feeding that fat slug he’s never going to go away is he?

    • Waxi

      Where did you read this Kenny

    • CKO

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • BigHairyDog

      Sports Direct run the ticket office, just as they run the club shop, so it’s not like the club is getting the money. 100% of profits from these two outlets are going straight to underpin Sports Direct, what would happen if people boycotted both?

  • Tweed Mag

    It is hard to believe anything put out by Ashley and his PR muppets. However, his name and the SD brand are getting hammered. His governance of NUFC is at the forefront of that. The protests, the pathetic attempts by his apologists to steady the ship, Workhouse of Fraser, historical poor management and a complete disregard for every other human on the planet is starting to tell. Another relegation would be too much and the negative publicity will have a knock-on effect. He is greedy and arrogant and that is all people are seeing at the moment.

  • SuperDesHamilton

    Unfortunately for us it came crashing down years ago

  • Grahame Johnson

    Post your gift cards and we will refund, 2 weeks later no response or statement, so hof loyal customers dumped on asap,no chance of big name brands at hof as creditors robbed, Ashley has a plan and sticks to it, all covered by lie,have to go that 1840s snake oil seller’s at my door

    • Peaky

      You’re right…all this what a hero he is saving all those jobs…..the fact is he’s pyssing the customers off so much they ain’t gonna shop there much longer and the jobs will go anyway…..evil evil manipulative fattwat…

      • BigHairyDog

        He’s offered Debenhams a deal to save them but their shareholders are trying to hold out, it’s likely he’ll do a HoF on them and pick up Debenhams up after they’ve folded. Followed by John Lewis, M&S won’t be long after that.

        • Peaky

          I’m surprised the overgrown slab of rotten walrus meat hasn’t moved into the food industry yet…???

          • SuperDesHamilton

            If his practices are this bad in retail industry imagine how disgusting they’d be in the food one! Selling dead sports direct workers meat and passing it off as beef

          • Peaky

            🤣😂🤣 like a modern day Sweeney Todd..

          • SuperDesHamilton

            At least sweeney Todd had some redeaming features?! Surely haha

        • FatParosite

          Fat Ash is building a list of shops I will never go in.

  • X,WHY,Y MAN.

    The price has come down all of a sudden as it did this time last year.
    This will carry on being the narrative if we continue to struggle.
    The man is just playing games as per usual and tailors his attitude to suit the situation.
    Now if results pick up we all know how it ends with the price going up as soon as it looks like we are safe.
    It wouldn’t surprise me if he tried to get someone interested at this stage like another Staveley only to shift the goalposts and price.

    • Kevin Christie

      Boycott is the only way for us to crank up the pressue and try to force his hand!

  • Peaky

    Still to this day convinced Staveley wasn’t genuine….all that business at the Indian restaurant with Desmond ??….please don’t insult our intelligence….

    • FatParosite

      That curry house scam was the same as this one.

  • graham18

    keep the pressure on him.he will buckle soon.

    • Tweed Mag

      Exactly. ‘Toxic Ashley’ has told lies once too often. His cronies have run out of ideas. His image is not that of billionaire businessman, but self proclaimed ‘pantomime villain’. That is about the only thing we have heard from him that is true.

      • FatParosite

        It will still keep the thickies thinking they can go to games and protest & win.

  • Vodkamagpie

    Its possible Ashley doesn’t wish to carry on as owner. Negatives could be it’s a pain and burden with very little gain. If fans believe Ashley takes millions out of the club, then new potential owners would be banging down the door to claim their free 129mil TV money. Large amounts of the owners own money would have to be invested for a successful premier league team, with absolute no guarantee that would infact be enough. Ashley would appear to believe it’s not worth the gamble, hence the club being up for sale. He would want the club to be successful in the future, and would try to select the best owner possible for this to be achieved.

    • wheyayeman

      Hi Keith

    • SuperDesHamilton

      Boring 😴😴😴😴😴

      • Vodkamagpie

        The truth can be boring at times

        • SuperDesHamilton

          Speak it sometime, might do you the world of good. Instead of putting everyone to sleep with your rubbish patter

          • Vodkamagpie

            Coming from you, your little one liner comments means absolute rubbish most of the time

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Chill out grandad, don’t have a breakdown

          • Vodkamagpie

            One liner

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Better crack then your essays of boredom

          • Vodkamagpie

            Super one line

          • SuperDesHamilton

            Here’s a tissue for your issue

  • FatParosite

    When you read lines like the following from the Comical:- ‘In one sense this is good news, because it gives further evidence he actually wants to sell.’
    You KNOW 2 things:-
    1) Ashley does NOT want to sell.
    2) The COMICAL are working directly from Bishop

  • MadMag83

    It’s the same trick he pulled last season. Pretend the club is up for sale to try and get everyone to be a bit more positive to help results, then use it as an excuse for not spending any money in January​.

    Same old shiiiittt from Ashley, he’s got no intention of selling up. The only way he’s leaving is in a coffin, and even then he’ll probably leave us to North Korea in his will.

  • Mike

    wonder how much the club would be worth if we go down?