The Real Madrid job is now open for the right candidate.

So who next?

The question on all of our lips then, who will replace Zizou…

Alan Pardew or Sam Allardyce?

Both have fine European pedigree, the ultimate respect of the fans of each of the clubs they’ve managed, and a glowing history in the transfer market.

I’ll quickly analyse the strengths of each candidate below (not enough time in the day to analyse their weaknesses):

BF Sam Allardyce:

Owns property in Spain.

Alan Pardew:

Owns shares in Joop!

Therefore has experience of working in Euros.

That’s about it.

Good luck guys!

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  • Mxpx

    Real Madrid job is on offer? Where do I send my cv

    • Paul Patterson

      How much experience on Football Manager do you have? 😁

      • Geordiegiants

        Probably as much as Fat Sham and Pinocchio.

  • Leazes.

    Congrats on having a Geordie name Ben.

    • MichaelMaximusMoose

      you were quick there Leazes,

    • Wor Lass

      Benji Arma to his mates. His middle name`s Robson (Robbo to me and you). He`s geordie through and through.

      • Leazes.

        I don’t mind other names, its just that this site has a dominance of names from bizarrely the South west, (Cornwall to Gloucestershire) which infers they’re nom de plumes by the same person unaware of the distinction, history and identity of Northumbria.

        Did you know that the most common name in England is Smith in every single county except one…. Northumberland …. its Thomson here at this side of the border and Thompson the other side in Lothian.

        • Wor Lass

          What does that tell us about Thompson House?

          • Leazes.

            Its Thomson House!

          • Wor Lass

            You`re too easy! lol

          • Leazes.

            Sorry I just thought you were thick.

          • Wor Lass

            I used to know a girl called Tracy Thomson. When she gave her name to anyone she always followed up with, “e-less and p-less”.

        • Mark Potter

          Here are a list of historical Geordie names:

          “Here is a list of Border Reiver surnames: region Anderson, Armstrong, Beattie, Bell, Blackadder, Bromfield, Burns, Carlisle, Carnaby, Carr, Carruthers, Charlton, Collingwood, Cranston, Craw, Croser, Crozier, Curwen, Dacre, Davison, Dixon, Dodd, Douglas, Dunn, Elliot, Fenwick, Forster, Gilchrist, Glendenning, Graham, Gray, Hall, Harden, Hedley, Henderson, Heron, Hetherington, Hodgson, Hume, Hunter, Irvine, Jamieson, Jardine, Johnstone, Kerr, Laidlaw, Latimer, Little, Lowther, Maxwell, Medford, Milburn, Mitford, Moffat, Musgrave, Nixon, Noble, Ogle, Oliver, Potts, Pringle, Radcliffe, Reed, Ridley, Robson, Routledge, Rowell, Rutherford, Salkeld, Scott, Selby, Shaftoe, Simpson, Stamper, Stapleton, Stokoe, Storey, Tailor, Tait, Thompson, Thomson, Trotter, Turnbull, Turner, Wake, Wilkinson, Wilson, Witherington, Yarrow, Young.”

          Problem is, surnames pass mainly on the male side, women traditionally married and lost their family name. If they married within the same area, then there is a good chance they would be adopting another historical name. But that fails entirely when large numbers of people move in or out of an area. Someone with a local name might have a family that adopted the name by marriage. And vice versa. It in no way indicates whether someone biologically originates in the region.

          And you also have people who changed their surname – these are not legally fixed. You can write your surname any way you want. And people with foreign names are the ones most likely to consciously change their names. But unconscious change can occur when the person with the name is illiterate, and someone else in authority records the name, and spells it how they think it should be spelled. The evidence anyway is that only the landed families had surnames, common people didn’t, and they adopted names only when forced to do so, for example by laws requiring births and deaths to be registered. Which was a relatively modern occurence.

          Overall, no-one with a surname on the list can assume they historically originate in the region. Or vice versa. And people certainly have no reason to exclude anyone as “not a true Geordie” on the basis that they don’t have a local surname.

        • Leazes.

          To Mark Potter

          I wrote a lengthy reply but it didn’t stay because I’d blocked you some time ago and when I logged in it all disappeared.

          I can’t be bothered to do it again….shame it was a good piece.

  • MichaelMaximusMoose

    Forget those 2 give it to Geordie John
    😂😂😂

    • Leicester Mag

      Beat me to that ! How about Pep McNugget? A dark horse ?

    • Paul Patterson

      The best coach in the Premier league, I understand. .

      • Kneebotherm8

        Driver….

  • Toon

    What’s this dribble?

    • MichaelMaximusMoose

      Top Cat
      😂😂😂

  • That’s a bit unfair. Pardew is widely known to be a very reflective coach. Give him a mirror and he will stare at it for hours.

  • MichaelMaximusMoose

    Real will go for Pochettino & Kane

    • Leazes.

      Excellent, that should knack Spuds… I hate spuds.

      • MichaelMaximusMoose

        So do i

        • Paul Patterson

          Shut up please! That will open a position for Rafa. 😂

          • Leazes.

            Spurs fans like exciting football

          • Geordiegiants

            So do ours.

    • Peaky

      Or maybe Klopp & Salah…?

  • Liam Hogg

    Wenger will take over real for two years. Florentino Pérez has an unhealthy obsession with him & now Tuchel has taken over PSG theirs no other club for Wenger (providing Jardim doesn’t leave Monaco)

    • Paul Patterson

      Correct. Real only do short term appointments. Having said that, it could be Allardyce with my logic..

      • Liam Hogg

        Well they do need a winner… a can just see Sam banging on the doors of the civic centre trying to change his name to Allardici by deed poll

  • Alan Pardew

    I look at the top teams and feel I could do that job better than I’m seeing it being done.

    • wheyayeman

      We know Pards given the same 3 seasons how many champions leagues could you deliver?

  • Paul Patterson

    At least ZZ and Pardew have one thing in common. No, it’s not they are good managers, they both have a reputation for the old fashioned headbutt.
    It’s Wenger’s all the way..

  • 1957

    Even before ZiZi resigned the talk in Madrid was they would like Pochettino and would back him with whatever it took to buy Harry Kane. If it happened Benitez to the New White Heart Lane…

    • wheyayeman

      That’s a whole lot of nope

  • Weyhhadaway

    It’s wor Jonny Carvers to lose, obvious man.

  • Leazes.

    There’s a Spanish version of Newsnow you know….. I hope humour translates!