Leaked images of the alleged new Newcastle United kits for next season, reveal a nod and a wink to the rugby/David Ginola/hoopy maroon and blue away kit of 1995-96, and a, well… minimalist effort for the home kit (see below). And they look clingy.

The same images have appeared in an article on the Chronicle website, and while I’m not assuming these images are the real deal yet, there’s nothing quite like a bit of football strip conjecture to while away an afternoon. The site shows a multitude of tops for a few teams. It would be lovely to think that fans of other clubs are turning their attention to the annual variation on a theme of how to spend quite a lot of money.

It would also be lovely to think that this is the most pressing news we have until the club is sold, we buy a couple of strikers, and the world is a better place.

Now, I haven’t bought a new top for myself since the Asics kit of our first season in the Premier League.

My in-laws have generously bought me a few tops over the years, and Mrs S knows my misty-eyed preference for the kits from yesteryear…if it’s got a blue star, pin stripes, or a badge in a circle, you can’t go far wrong.

The ‘leaked’ 2018/19 NUFC home shirt:

newcastle united kits

And some might argue that maybe there are bigger things going on in the club to think and write about. But two tops that I opened as presents, neatly folded in my mind as Bobby Dazzlers, had me thinking about why this stuff matters. Even though one of them was the relegation top of 2008-09, adorned by Michael Owen.

In the days before clingy tops that were harder to grab while you play, football tops were cunningly good at hiding the side effects of my brave and noble attempts to keep our local pizza shop afloat. Pathetically, as I have arms that I can best describe as feeble, mine stuck out of the baggy sleeves like two chips escaping a tent.

Back in the heady days of ‘Giz-a-job Sounness’, Adidas made us a kit with a particularly white top. This was fronted with Northern Rock as the sponsor in gold lettering. Talking with some of the lads in my Year 11 class, we all agreed that we liked it. We talked about this nearly every lunchtime for weeks as they revised for their exams.

Their final lesson was a celebration of everything they and the class had achieved over the year; a momentum boost just before the pen-to-paper day of reckoning. After we had talked through the first group’s work, the lads stopped me and asked if they could say something. They produced a bouquet of flowers for their other teacher, who looked over at me with either a tear in her eye or a sudden allergy, and a bag for me. “We thought a size large. What with the pizzas and that, sir!”

The ‘leaked’ 2018/19 NUFC away shirt:

newcastle united kits

There in the bag was the new top, with Stainsby and 9 printed on the back. I developed the same instant allergy as their other teacher.

A few years later, as my Year 11 form class sobbed their way through our final form time together, the almost negative of the earlier top, with black and white reversed, was presented to me by a group of the girls in my class. I walked out that day with a framed photograph of Alan Shearer scoring his 200th goal for the club, a Newcastle United tie, and wearing my new top. Suspiciously, the allergy had returned.

Were we successful in these Newcastle United kits? No.

Will they be celebrated twenty years later, remastered by Toffs or Score Draw? Who knows.

But somewhere, this new kit will be a present, or a first kit, and it’s going to create an allergy for someone.

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  • Paul Patterson

    Both look good. We just need to build a team worthy of fitting in them.

  • Jimmy_toons

    The strips may look a bit clingy, but I doubt the current squad will look like they’re carrying much timber compared to some of our players from yesteryear, like Tommy ‘the tank’ Cassidy, John Craggs and more recently Hatem Ben Arfa.
    Any other portly players who could fill out the famous black and white stripes spring to mind?

    • Paul Patterson

      I seem to remember Sol Campbell carrying a few when he rocked up at St James’.

      • Jimmy_toons

        Being ‘ap norf’, Campbell must have decided to follow Joe Harvey’s dietary instructions to Stewart Barrowclough…..brown ale and fish and chips. He was certainly carrying more than his fare share of extra poundage.

        • Scott Robinson

          And Joe having a tab with Terry Hibbitt and Super Mac would make a great anti-PC Tv advert for the new strip!

    • Jezza

      Gazza.

      • Scott Robinson

        Martin Burleigh if that is how you spell it. Saw him play at Man U probably 1974 when we lost 2-1. He had a decent game but the biggest (fattest not fastest) bloke in a toon strip without rival, though it was the keeper’s top.

        Micky Quinn wasn’t so thin either.

        Alan Foggon on his testimonial was some size when I think of it!!

    • George Stainsby

      Mark Viduka…

    • Rich Lawson

      Seem to remember Preben Arentoft was a bit chunky.

    • Geordiegiants

      Mick Quinn would of looked a picture in one of those.

    • pedrodelgardo

      John Bailey would’ve been good at tug-‘o-war, when he was sober.

  • Dillon Tovak

    The away kits nice.

  • Scott Robinson

    Looking at a mackem with his 50 year old comb over reminded me of Ralph Coates and Bobby Charlton. Imagine a team of comb overs selling the above strip? Bob Stokoe as manager. If you are too young google Ralph….

  • Clarko

    #BringBackThe1983/88Badge

  • MadMag83

    The away kit is nice but the home looks underwhelming.

  • ghostrider

    The Grandad collar shirt that Shearer and Ginola, etc wore, was a shirt that many a footballer could have wore whilst carrying a little bit of excess weight and not look too shabby in it.