Newcastle United have 12 matches to save their season.

It sounds a little bit like a movie title.

The only question now is whether it will prove to be a triumph, a horror, a comedy, or simply a low-budget drama that was always destined to disappoint.

Other parallels with the film industry are easy to make, the owner of the studio hiring an award-winning Director but handing him a budget that only stretched to second-rate actors.

The Director then goes public that he needs more money if the right calibre of actor is to be attracted, so that the movie can have any realistic chance of success.

Instead of listening to the expert opinion of the talented Director he employed, the owner ignores the pleas for realistic funding and instead gets his people to launch a campaign in the film media to rubbish his own Director and lay the blame at his door in the event of the movie’s likely failure.

‘You couldn’t make it up’ is the working title of this blockbuster from the Mike Ashley Studio…

Maybe the biggest departure with Newcastle United, is that no matter what a mess the owner and his minions make of the club, it is always a box office hit when it comes to bums on seats.

What though lies ahead in the future if Ashley forces his Director/Manager out and leads the club into its third relegation in only nine Premier League seasons as the owner.

Newcastle fans aren’t going to change their viewing tastes to another genre, as obviously it is NUFC for life.

Everybody though eventually has their breaking point and this season, supporters are only putting up with the current farce (now 11 years in the making) because they have been offered hope of better in the future by the presence of Rafa Benitez.

When you have an Oscar-winning Director in charge, there is no chance of him being happy to keep on making straight to TV second-rate low-budget flops.

Rafa Benitez has a reputation to protect even if the owner has no idea what the word even means.

The Director hasn’t lost his touch, he just needs a new studio owner to give him the kind of quality cast that he can work with and mould into the level of finished product he is used to.

The viewing public aren’t expecting instant Oscars, just some entertainment and a drive to make Newcastle United the best it can possibly be.



  • TheNutJob

    Fatty`s the son of Satan

    • Jezza

      Satan worships Fatty.

      • Peaky Magpie

        🤣😂🤣

      • Kneebotherm8

        Is that the satanic monk?

    • Wor Lass

      Monksatan! Whoops, sorry Kneebo – just saw yours.

      • Kneebotherm8

        Nee bother mate…..

  • Vito Genovese

    Does anybody know when the TV deal will be sorted out?
    It was said weeks ago it would be early Feb and now we approach mid February.

    • Steve Smith

      Tender docs only went at the end of last week I believe. You’re looking at 2 weeks to evaluate assuming nothing too complex comes back. Probably looking at another week to clarify bids if necessary. Then another week or two to agree contract details.

    • relaxed

      It doesn’t make any difference to you or the club how much it is, that money will just disappear into Ashleys back skyrocket never to be seen again. Simples

      • HarryHype59

        Or he won’t get any, due to yet another relegation!

      • Vito Genovese

        It makes a difference to me.

  • Monkseaton Magpies

    Could understand a word you were saying but the banner makes me sick. Bring back the good banners for Sunday and support the team . Rafa has asked us to be united for the rest of the season not much chance with articles like this.

    • Stephen

      Why do you think supporting the team and supporting Ashley are consistent?

    • Vito Genovese

      Do you agree with what is quoted on the banner though ? Regardless of the fact it was displayed

      • Monkseaton Magpies

        To be honest I don’t as it is not as simple as that. The guy is doing his best with the resources the club has and until a rich tycoon comes in it will be question of establishing ourselves in the Premiership. Look how Sunderland and Middlesboro are doing and it’s clear it’s not easy. The problem with site is that when Ashley leaves everything in the garden is going to be a bed of roses. They are in for a nasty shock.

        • Stephen

          So you think the current strategy being employed by Ashley will ensure we establish ourselves in the Premier league?
          Maybe there are a few folk in for a nasty shock.

          • ghostrider

            What does establish mean in this day and age?
            It means nothing because the only established teams are those that are given the green light to flout the rules while the rest are playing toss the coin.

            One bad season can scupper the word “established” and any non-elite team can be part of it.

          • Stephen

            Agree, was picking up on monks Eaton magpies use of the word establish as justification for Ashley’s strategy.

        • Ram Kishore

          Look Ashley has done some decent work but at times taking risk and not investing in the summer window…would it not weaken our progress?

          I think u might see the logic in it.. when u get promoted and want to compete for top 10 u must have a strong team right??.. Leave all other so called mistakes.. or “good things according to u” .. Don’t we need strong team in this competitive league?

          • ghostrider

            You could argue that we’re competing for top ten right now as much as we are also trying to avoid relegation.
            That’s how close it is in this league where the elites leave the scraps for the scrappers.

          • Ram Kishore

            The other scrappers u say so ..aren’t they stronger with better players than our team..Just see the squad names??
            Was our 2015-16 anywhere weaker like this one?

          • ghostrider

            I’m talking about the other teams scrapping around us for the crumbs left behind by the slite teams.
            Or to put it plainly, league positions being fought for as a mere lottery by the scrappers with no team standing out as superior to the other in most cases.

          • Monkseaton Magpies

            Our top priority should have been a striker we spent nearly fifty million so the money was there. We are better than Burnley and Everton just cannot finish.

          • Ram Kishore

            So let’s just buy a striker and play the team with the striker alone huh?
            We sold few people we needed few people…
            I don’t see where we had 50 million??? I think u need glasses

        • Toon Arnie

          Establishing ourselves in the premiership ? We’ll be lucky to see out this season. If he had no intention of giving Rafa January funds or there were no funds to give then why play these games through the media with the £20m striker story. He could have got a couple of loan deals over the line in early January and got on with things. It’s all down to Ashley not Charnley or the pitiful excuse of him being on holiday and holding up proceedings wouldn’t have been wheeled out.

        • Vito Genovese

          The banner suggests to the fans to forget about ashley and support the team.
          The fact that ashley is now the one owner in the country who everybody knows tells its own sorry story .

          • Monkseaton Magpies

            The fact that Short and Gibson are not known for creating a shambles tells it’s own story. Wish their fans would rebel as much as ours but not going to happen.

        • Wor Lass

          Rich tycoon? Hello!!…. Mike Ashley!!…. £2.5 billion at least!!….

    • Leicester Mag

      Some people may bite at this but this facade you are an actual fan is frankly wearing

      • Monkseaton Magpies

        Bournemouth will be my four hundredth and ninety ninth and Liverpool my five hundredth away game since the loyalty system for away games started so some façade. This site never ceases to amaze me all talk no matches..

        • Kneebotherm8

          You still goin’ down in Mikes chopper to these away games?..

          • Toon Arnie

            I had to read that twice there !!

          • Kneebotherm8

            😂😂😂😂😂 you might be right there……….mebbees should have been on…….not in..

    • Ram Kishore

      That banner was for someone else.. the fans will support the team.
      If that banner made u sick go and ask a Dr Ashley a pill..
      Oh no don’t go..it could be cheap low quality pill

    • Big geordie

      Prat

  • Kneebotherm8

    It’s definitely a comedy………it’s a right carry on….
    It’s one fine mess after another with Mike at the helm….

  • thewildchimp

    More likely a high-budget drama, with failed production, a once winning Oscar director and scriptwriter who may or may not have lost his mojo, B-rate actors, and the script is insanely boring with a dash of fresh breeze every now and then.
    It’s shambles, really, like every year. Nothing’s different.

  • Desree

    Maybe Disney can by us. Although after that last Star Wars movie, maybe not a good idea.

    • TheNutJob

      Fatty could go after Bambi with a 12 bore

    • Stephen Butler

      yibbada yibbada that’s all folks

  • TheNutJob

    they wanted him for the next Bond villain, but when he insisted he wanted to kill 007 & blow up MI6 they were having none of it
    😂😂

    • Wor Lass

      His bird would have to be Miss Moneypenny!

  • Peaky Magpie

    Hellraiser —The Eleven Ashley Years.

    • Albert Stubbins

      I like it.!!

  • East Durham Mag

    Its more like a Greek tragedy. A decade of disappointment and pain.

    • ghostrider

      Wrong.
      A decade of the good the bad and the ugly in equal mix.
      The feel good factor to the utter despair factor in short spells or longer self inflicted spells where bile and hatred creep in for the owner and co, down to managers.
      A right rollercoaster and a massive bunch of fickleness added into the mix.
      The good.
      Keegan appointment (short term excitement)
      A top 5 finish.
      2 Championship winning trophies.
      A few mid table finishes.

      The bad.
      A few struggles in the league.
      Players wanting to leave.
      Bad managerial appointments.
      Bad boardroom appointments.

      The ugly.
      2 relegations.
      Boycott banners.
      Ashley out bile.
      Unsettling players due to in ground bile.
      Constant whining no matter who or what we bring in/happens.
      Media hype stoking up hatred among fans.
      Media hype putting down the club.
      Managers believing ugly football is the way forward when Newcastle fans would have hung drawn and quartered a manager doing just that not too long ago.

      All of it amounts to the life of a football fan and a football club in a city of one major club with a loyal set of fans who can be stirred into a frenzy or pacified as and when the situation arises.

      • East Durham Mag

        Only to a few “characters” who post on here.

        • Kneebotherm8

          Very few…….they could easily be counted on one hand..

  • Sid James

    Carry on Regardless,
    starring Al Murray as Mike Ashley & Peter Kay as Manuel Benitez
    co starring Lee Evans as the hapless Lee Charnley

    • Wor Lass

      If Lee (Evans, that is) is a method actor he`ll need to put a bit of weight on, have his ears pinned, slow down considerably and have a lobotomy.

      • Kneebotherm8

        It’ll need to be a silent movie for a Charnley take off…🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐

  • Albert Stubbins

    Or more like- and that’s another fine mess you’ve got us in Ashley!!

  • Albert Stubbins

    The good the bad and the ugly or Benitez,Ashley and Charnley would be a more accurate description!!

  • FatParosite

    11 years coiling one off in our house & they still go back to support it.

  • Mr wobert

    Just like to say well done toon, a great win today
    Well deserved.