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We don’t need to talk about Simon

4 years ago

I’m not someone who normally listens to football talk-ins.

There’s only so many times you can listen to fans of the ‘top 6’ moaning because they’ve lost a match / aren’t in the top 4 / haven’t won a trophy recently / or have won a trophy recently but not the one they wanted to win.

However, on those odd occasions I’ve listened to talksport, and Simon Jordan has been on the programme, he‘s always managed to steer the discussion around to Newcastle United.

He keeps saying that we are ‘nothing special’ but he seems to be endlessly fascinated by the toon and can’t stop talking about us.

You would have thought that someone who looks like he failed the audition for Kajagoogoo wouldn’t want to draw attention to himself but Simon Jordan seems desperate to stir up a bit of controversy and start a row with Newcastle fans. Of course Crystal Palace fans have a history of doing this.

Despite its massive population, Sarf London only manages to support one, middling Premiership team so they’ve had to invent a rivalry with Brighton. Unlike Newcastle and Sunderland, these two clubs  aren’t physically close and instead of their rivalry going back centuries, there’s only goes back to the 70s when the Brighton manager was rude to some Crystal Palace fans.

Simon Jordan’s particular way of trying to start a row is to spout the same sort of ill-informed, ignorant opinions that I always hear whenever I walk into one of my locals in South London wearing a Newcastle shirt.  You know the sort of thing…

You don’t like Alan Pardew/ Mike Ashley because they’re cockneys.

I bet you think you’re going to finish in the top 4 this season.

You’ll be calling for Rafas head once you lose a few games.

Simon Jordan spouts the usual, ignorant rubbish and then adds some more of his own.

In his latest comments about Newcastle he claimed that we had ‘run away’ with the League last season (which is funny because I seem to remember Brighton being well ahead of us with just three matches to go). Then added that we’d spent as much as Huddersfield when we got up into the Premier League but that Huddersfield were simply making better use of their resources (Again, I seem to remember Huddersfield having a net spend of over £40million in the Summer whilst our net spend was closer to £10 million).

What was really gratifying was that after coming up with this latest nonsense there was a long wait before he got any response and his co-presenter started to sound a bit desperate, as he asked if any Newcastle fans could ring in.

I think this is an appropriate response to Simon Jordan. Just ignore the b……

I know this might seem like a bit of a contradiction as I’ve just written an article about him, but if he can’t manufacture a row with Newcastle, maybe he’ll pick on someone of a similar size to Palace, like say Charlton or Millwall. Teams with similar levels of support and similar levels of achievement (ie. They haven’t won anything) who could actually be classed as their nearest rivals.


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