As I have mentioned in past articles, I live in the southern section of this green and pleasant land, so I often find myself as a bit of an island when it comes to supporting our beloved Newcastle United.

Part of living down here is having to put up with the wonderfully screwed up view of our club and the toon army in general.

This came to a head the other day when a gooner supporting colleague approached me with a grinch like grin on his face, which usually means that some sort of football related wind up was about to commence.

“So it looks like Benitez will be missing the Swansea game then?”

Now I was aware that Rafa may miss the game due to a stint in hospital this past week due to a pretty nasty infection but before I could draw breath to respond he continued…

“Guess that instead of travelling to Swansea he will continue on to London to get a club down here!”

A short chuckle whistled through his teeth as I gritted mine.

The reason why I didn’t empty the hot contents of my black and white mug over his smug head was that I’m pretty much used to this sort of nonsense these days.

Truth is, ever since our relegation was confirmed sixteen months ago, I have been on the receiving end of this sort of doom mongering in regards to our manager.

We go down?

“Haha you’re losing him to Everton!”

No money spent in January?

“Haha you’re losing him to Swansea!”

No big name signings in the past transfer window?

“Haha you’re losing him to West Ham/Palace/Hammersmith Irregulars XI!!!”

When I enquire where this “insider” knowledge comes from?

“I read it in the paper!”

Ah well why didn’t you say? It must be true!

I have to say statements like these don’t surprise me. I’m sure we have all opened a tabloid or tuned into sky sports news to find our wonderful club and it’s name being made the target of mocking, or generally being dragged through the mud.

The red tops and “news” channels including talking heads and ex “professionals” like Paul Merson and David Prutton and countless others, spew the view that we are on the verge of a footballing apocalypse every five minutes and it’s not just the club itself that they set their sights on.

We supporters are also not immune from their Fleet Street bile. To the majority of these outlets we are nothing more than a bunch of delusional horse punchers who feel we have the right to be challenging for every major honour season after season!

The thing that bothers me is that because of when asinine statements like these are sent out to the general public via print or visual medium, the general population accept this as fact.

I know for a fact I don’t feel this way, all I ask for is a team that plays to the best of their capabilities and gives their all for us supporters.

Thanks to the emperor of elasticated jogging bottoms and his broken promise,s we are all aware that a tough season is ahead of us. However, losing 2-0 with our heads up and fight in our hearts is a damn sight better than losing by the same scoreline with slumped shoulders and a half-hearted performance.

This narrow view from our nation’s “finest” pundits and scribes will not be changing anytime soon and I am under no illusions that these doomsday scenarios will continue to be printed and aired regardless of their truth and substance as long as they attract eyeballs.

So i guess I’ll just have to continue gritting my pearly whites and focus my attention where it counts most….cheering on our lads!


(All contributions from Newcastle fans welcome, send articles (as well as ideas/suggestions) to [email protected])

  • Leazes Ender

    You keep telling them that you aren’t deluded son, they will have to believe you as you don’t have a bloody clue.

  • Lord

    Seriously, if you have an Arsenal fan giving you some gip, you’ve got plenty of ammunition to fire back.

    Perhaps you can give him some Alan Pardew quotes about how hard it is to compete in the Europa League?

  • Mal

    I think the comments from your colleagues is what is known as ‘banter’. We’re above Arsenal now in the league – you have a chance to hit back while the goings good.

  • ghostrider

    Generally speaking, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
    London is the capital of England.
    The Queen resides there.
    The government govern from there.
    The FA headquarters are there.
    Most of the top tabloid headquarters are in London , as are the TV media.

    Yeah, there’s a great divide.
    All we need to remember is this:

    Our club’s fans hope for a lot but expect very little.
    The major clubs fans of London expect a lot and hope for even more than that, or they cry to have their manager replaced.

    They also have to pay a fortune to own a season ticket and use them as some kind of badge of honour, as well as a statement that they can afford one.

    A bunch of braggarts who’s very bragging existence hinges on the name LONDON.
    Because LONDON looks after LONDON and all who partake in aiding its wealth who are associated with it.

    Most ordinary Londoners believe they are working class among their peers until they meet a northerner, in which they then shout ” it’s morphing time” and become middle to upper class.

    Yep, there is a massive divide but only one that is made by a bunch of unfair pen pushers that are placed upon a huge pedestal (government) and allow the capital to take the major spoils of everything entertaining and materialistic.

    The rest survive on the scraps, with a nice tasty bone thrown in every so often to stop the natives getting restless.

    • X,WHY,Y MAN.

      Beautifully illustrated !

  • S.G.M.

    A while ago when NUFC decided that it would be best if they had a Preferred media partner to try and contain some of the southern drivel that was constantly being published by the press the fans kicked off big style. Cant win.

    • Danimal

      Or in other words to try and contain some of the well-deserved criticism of our great leader.

    • Damon Horner

      Not true though is it? The preferred media partner agreement is basically “give us money and you can get the juicy news first and privileged positions in news conferences”.

      • Geordiegiants

        Nah it’s more like give you money keep off our backs.

    • Geordiegiants

      The only reason they are the prefers media partner is, they own The Chronicle, and The Chronicle helped arrange and publises protests and boycotts etc etc at the very beginning. Keeping them on side with money has stopped sack the board protest, and boycotts very successfully. The Chronicle hated our owner until the agreement with the mirror group.

  • X,WHY,Y MAN.

    It’s just become another stereotype which is up there with “All Scousers Are Thieves”, “All Jocks Are Tight” etc

    If your work mate is a Gooner then you only have to watch Arsenal Fans TV on You Tube to see true delusion at work.
    It truly is a sight to behold to see the stick Arsene Wenger a man who has consistently delivered top four finishes receives at the hands of some of the most ungrateful so called fans going.

    • Rich Lawson

      And he often has them playing beautiful fast passing football !

  • Steve Pearce

    Cheer up Matt – I once met a Sunderland Mag who drank with his mates in a totally windowless pub with huge steel doors. They called themselves penguins I think and wore their Toon Shirts with pride. I think they must be the bravest fans we have as the Makems don’t take kindly to seeing the old black and white on their streets but he said his mates were all monsters and didn’t mind the odd clattering or two.