My Newcastle United articles to date have, I hope, been objective and submitted in an attitude of realism.

This has been forced on me by events over the past ten years ,which have changed me from an optimistic dreamer running that long anticipated FA cup win over in my head, while lying in the bath.

My last article was a preparation at the beginning of a transfer window, which I envisaged as being the usual let down, as our owner again demonstrates yet again he tells lies.

Even I was surprised he managed to achieve this in a Sky interview, which had slightly fewer u turns than a Donald Trump rally.

We cleared the decks at relegation, offloading five Premier League players and funding Rafa with a championship quality squad.

As we near the end of this window, we still have a Championship quality squad after £30m expenditure and are five premiership quality players short.

As our owner acquires 22% of Debenhams with a plan in mind using his wallpaper money, I can only conclude the same way I always do…

Mike Ashley owns my club in order to torture the supporters and give him some perverse pleasure .

Sorry Mike but God forgive me, it doesn’t bother me anymore – that is the obscene tragedy of what you have achieved.

In Rafa we trust.

(All contributions from Newcastle fans welcome, whatever your views(!), send articles (as well as ideas/suggestions) to [email protected])

  • fistsofsteel2

    You can’t build a spaceship with a tool kit bought at Poundland.

    And you can’t expect to survive the premier league with bargain basement inadequate players.

    Ashley has supplied Rafa with a Poundland toolkit and asked him to build a spaceship.

    Ashley is an idiot……doesn’t he realise investing in two or three £20-30million players will keep Newcastle in the premier league – thus making money long term. It’s almost like he’s wanting the club to be relegated.
    Who would blame Rafa if he walked out? There is NO ambition whatsoever being shown by the club under Ashley.

    Rafa WILL be gone within weeks.

    • Jezza

      I believe Rafa will be gone this time next week.

      • Oooh bobbi fleckman

        Bet you £10 that he is still here next Saturday

        • Jezza

          What’s the point. You would just deny making the bet like you did with your offer of a bet on NUFC spending £100+ million this summer.

          • Oooh bobbi fleckman

            Show me the post where I made that claim and I’d agree but I can’t recall claiming that in conversation here and I’ve always thought £40-£50m is about the limit for a promoted side, and I think the club owes the bulk of those who got us up, the right to keep us up.

            It really can’t be difficult to find, I’m not one of the cowards who find the need to / feel so self-important to feel the need to keep my posts private

          • Jezza

            There were numerous posts but I’m not going to waste my time trawling back through the site when you’ve probably deleted them.

          • Oooh bobbi fleckman

            No, you claimed our transfer business was done, I offered to bet that it wasn’t, we’ve since bought 3 players. I’ve not deleted anything, it would be pretty obvious if did.

          • Jezza

            Will you please stop making things up. I said our transfer business was finished after Joeslu and we haven’t signed anybody since then.

          • Oooh bobbi fleckman

            You said this before Jolu’ “I wouldn’t hold out much hope of any big signings before the window closes. Since Ashley took over, NUFC have hardly made a habit of signing players late in the transfer window have they. Just think of all those long slow deadline days when nothing has happened at St James’s Park and all lingering hope of a last minute signing finally slips away around teatime. The only deals Ashley tends to do late in the window are big outgoing transfers when it’s conveniently too late to re-invest any of the money. Realistically the best we’re going to get between now and 31st August will be a couple of loans.”

          • Jezza

            I may have said that before Joselu. There certainly haven’t been three new signings since I said it like you alleged earlier today. In any case reading the comment you dug up I did specifically say “big signings” and a Stoke City outcast for £5 million does not fall into that category by any stretch of he imagination no matter how good an aquisition he may or may not turn out to be.

          • Oooh bobbi fleckman

            So we’ll not count any signings since you made that statement, that makes your statement spot on? I think you are pushing it.

            I thought Joselu led the line very well yesterday, personlly, I think he needs to stay in the middle a little more but I thought he was good.

      • Little Pedro

        Didn’t think he think he would Jack it in because that didn’t seem to be the way he worked, Napoli ect, but in this case I can see him walking, we have become almost a toxic brand and any association with that brand is obviously damaging to his reputation, be interesting to gauge the vibe today, will be there with my son and daughter as always, the sad thing is that at two league (home) games in I would take a point.

      • Leazes Ender

        I’ve a nasty feeling I think he’ll hold out for the redundancy package.

      • Steve Smith

        Agreed. One of the rags ran an article a couple days ago quoting Rafa as saying there is no long term project anymore.

      • East Durham Mag

        If West Ham fire Bilic that’s curtains for us. I reckon Fatty is banking on it. The install/reinstall a puppet.

      • Rich Lawson

        Have you seen the back page of The Mirror today,Rafa has upped the stakes in a game of bluff that would cost one of them £5mil in a sack/walk away situation.If we lose to West Ham today I think Ashley will suddenly find the extra few quid needed to make 2 quality signings or we are going to start falling to far behind after just a handful of games ?

    • Guest 2

      Despite another relegation as a result of his nonsense, we still posted a 4.2 mil profit.
      Sunderland receive 100 million for finishing last and being relegated, thanks to Sky money.
      Doesn’t take a genius to figure that fatso could quite easily loosen his grip and advance the club some cash from this seasons tv revenue in advance.
      But of course he’s more interested in how the accounts look, like a few regular posters on here.

      • Leazes Ender

        Didn’t we get about £70m plus a parachute payment?

        • Guest 2

          40 mil. + 7 for winning. + 40 ish transfer profit.

      • Georgia Peter

        So this is what is meant by “The club will be wiping it’s own nose” and he’s sticking to it

  • Paul Patterson

    I hope the media pick up on the line that Mike Ashley does seem to be deliberately ruining the club.
    Yo don’t do what he’s doing if your not purposely doing so..

    • Oooh bobbi fleckman

      Why would they?, it’s utter groundless nonsense

      • Paul Patterson

        Take your point but the lack of pressure from the media is staggering. Having said that, the local media are official partners.

        • Oooh bobbi fleckman

          The media love attacking the club. I don’t get your point?

          • Danimal

            No, they love attacking us.

        • hetonmag

          Had we been a southern club or a N/West club the media would have been all over him, the local press is useless as far as Ashley is concerned.

  • Steve Pearce

    “The Greatest Mike Ashley Achievement at Newcastle United”

    When he is torn to pieces by our fans after Rafa is forced to quit ….

    • Oooh bobbi fleckman

      And how will he be forced to quit?. Find someone to buy him out but even if he donates the shares to a donkey sanctuary, we will not be better off

      • Leazes Ender

        We would be better off with the Donkey running the club.

        • Oooh bobbi fleckman

          In what way?

          • Danimal

            He must be wanting too much for the club. As he refuses (sorry, is too poor, or not a country or whatever bs trips off his lips in a propaganda video) to allow the club to operate at its correct level, he should be prepared to break even on his investment and walk away. Plenty of (allegedly financially strapped) business owners have sold at a big loss so I don’t think break even would be unreasonable. I also suspect it would be sold by now if he would accept this. He must be asking too much. What right has he to expect a huge profit when he has clearly diminished the product? Generally you have to add some value in order to warrant a profit.

          • Georgia Peter

            The Toon is the bank from which he mortgages his tatty socks empire, obviously.

  • TheFatController

    Retail – recession period, low paid people, regulated by a few powerless politicians at best, Ashley can make people bend to his will

    Football – boom period, highly paid people, Ashley can’t do zero hour contracts and treat people with disrespect without being scrutinised by supporters and media

    He just can’t adapt his need to be top man to a world of celebrity millionaires who demand what others will pay them or what others are spending.

    Darwin didn’t say the fittest survive, he said those that adapt best survive. Ashley can’t adapt to the modern football world. He might as well be extinct in it, as Newcastle regularly are as a PL team…

  • MichaelMaximusMoose

    My mate works for the forestry commission he has at hand an industrial wood chipper, Fat Mike would just about fit into it

    • Leazes Ender

      too good for him if you ask me unless there is a really slow setting.

      • Geordiegiants

        It would be ok if it got jammed halfway.

        • Georgia Peter

          Just run the 845tard over would be good enough. Ive never hated anyone ever in my life, but thats all changed.

          • Geordiegiants

            Every day I wake up and check to see if he has died or been killed choking on a pie, I despise the vile cancer.

  • foggy

    Ashley doesn’t need to make any money out of Newcastle united he’s already got enough of the stuff. Ashley has an axe to grind with the toon fans and he is grinding away with a chuckle in his heart. He wants to see the fans suffer,no matter what the cost is financially, he doesn’t give two F’s about the money.
    He’s been grinding away for a good few years now, the more the fans suffer the more pleasure he gets. He’s been helped over the years by the early cup exits and the defeats to the Makems.
    I’ve always been of the opinion that Pardspew set the toon up to lose the derbies at the behest of Ashley.

    • Leazes Ender

      So you reckon Ashley is so rich he’s beyond money now…. into the realms of the sadism of power!

      Yes… this happens to people with too much money and no brains or civility.

    • Guest 2

      But he has. His ‘personal loans’ after both relegations, 11 million and 18 million, have been repaid (2012 and last December).
      Personal money now replaced as club debt.

  • Leicester Mag

    His ‘greatest’ achievement is apathetic compliance turning a passion and a love into a day out. No more dreams no more hopes just crushing mediocrity. Take or leave it knowing the overwhelming majority will take it, ticket pie punt and shirt