A classic on Friday night saw the Premier League open up with a thrilling seven goal game between Arsenal and Leicester.

Easy to watch as I have no expectation of Newcastle being anywhere close to either team, unless Mike Ashley gets a bang on the head, accidentally or not…

Saturday afternoon has been a different matter, I fully expect Brighton to now put six past Manchester City.

It is not that I think Newcastle’s chances of a decent season are impossible, even despite Ashley’s ridiculous transfer ‘strategy’, it is just that the very last thing we need is Newcastle to get off to a stinker of a start and our ‘rivals’ to do the exact opposite.

Huddersfield were supposed to be the clown team this season, the successors to Sunderland, well they have started off by taking Crystal Palace apart away from home. Two goals from their star summer signing striker Mounie, helping  to give a 3-0 win at Selhurst Park and three points.

Then we have Burnley, rated as no-hopers by some after star players Keane and Gray left this summer for some £40m+, they have only just gone and beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Aided by a Cahill sending off they were 3-0 up at half-time, only for a late fightback to almost grab a point for Chelsea despite Fabregas also getting a late red.

Every goal and every decision elsewhere is like a stab to the heart, making it look an even bigger uphill task for Newcastle.

Obviously we all hope for a result tomorrow against Tottenham but I really dread being turned over by Spurs and then having to go to Huddersfield next weekend where it will be jumping. The pessimist in me thinks six points behind Huddersfield after only two games would somehow be fate, sent to punish us for daring to side with Rafa Benitez against Mike Ashley.

Today’s earlier game saw Watford snatch an unlikely injury time point at home to Liverpool. Most pundits predicting the Hornets to go down and yet they managed to score three against the scousers and that was despite leaving £18.5m new striker Andre Gray on the bench for most of the 90 minutes.

A decent draw for another relegation candidate Swansea, away at Southampton.

West Brom predicted to struggle but they edge it 1-0 against a Bournemouth side who have massive outspent Newcastle in their net spend.

Stoke’s predictable defeat to Rooney and big spending Everton the only positive apparently.

I had envisaged certain defeats for the likes of Huddersfield, Swansea, Watford, Brighton and Burnley, up against the likes of Palace, Southampton, Liverpool, Manchester City and Chelsea.

If the Seagulls do indeed beat Man City then we will really know the forces of darkness are against us.

I hope for the best but today just makes me fear the very worst…!

Premier League results so far:

Arsenal 4 Leicester 3

Watford 3 Liverpool 3

Chelsea 2 Burnley 3

Crystal Palace 0 Huddersfield 3

Everton 1 Stoke 0

Southampton 0 Swansea 0

West Brom 1 Bournemouth 0

Still to come:

Sat 12 August 5.30pm

Brighton v Man City

Sun 13 August 

1.30pm Newcastle v Spurs

4pm Man Utd v West Ham

(All contributions from Newcastle fans welcome, send articles (as well as ideas/suggestions) to [email protected])

  • MichaelMaximusMoose

    The Forces of Darkness is sitting in his Mansion down south or giving it welly in some pub with his Mockney mates with not a care in the world except those moaning Geordie people up North who are nowt but pests

    • Mark Davies

      And the relevence to this story is mackem moose? Going tomorrow?

      • Mark Potter

        Course he isn’t. His team are away at Norwich this weekend.

        • MichaelMaximusMoose

          Blah blah blah, your`re full of schitt as usual, get a life you pr1k

          • anyobrien

            Plastic moaner… Go away ffs.

          • Mark Davies

            You did call st james sid james like the mackems kidda. You are a joke

        • anyobrien

          He’s probably never been lmfao

      • Guido Fawkes

        MMM was found out last season don’t give the SMB time of day..

        • MichaelMaximusMoose

          that`ll be right you a$$hole born in Ne15, live beside the Denton Hotel
          now [email protected]@k of idiot

          • Guido Fawkes

            hahaha hit a nerve eh…
            I’m not the first to say it as u no..

          • anyobrien

            So your not going…. Another plastic on a forum spewing negative drivel.

          • JackN

            Hey Ahole shut the hell up & never post your negative sh*t here

    • anyobrien

      Here’s the bore

  • anyobrien

    Ffs its the first weekend

  • tonytoon

    Calm down, calm down. Every season sees the newly promoted teams start well but gradually go into a nosedive. Yes, I know – let’s hope we do the same (hopefully without the nosedive) but the other thing is there will be times when we overachieve and times when we underachieve as all teams do, so take it easy. It’s the first week only.

  • Leicester Mag

    Ironically Huddersfield signed the striker they needed we haven’t.

    • Damon Horner

      I’m sure we’ll sign a striker. Hard to see the window closing and being left with just Mitro and Gayle surely…

      What’s funny though is if Newcastle signed Mounie it would have been criticised no doubt.

      • Desree

        Highly unlikely given we talk up every signing no matter how junk they are.

        • Damon Horner

          You know that’s rubbish… How often have you seen the word “underwhelming” before any of our signings kicked a competitive ball.

          Besides, a 22 year old French based player… He has all the red flags around him.

      • Jezza

        “Hard to see the window closing and being left with just Mitro and Gayle surely…”

        Too true. We’ll left with just Gayle…..and he’ll be injured.

        • anyobrien

          Jezza , soldier and Leicester mag… Soooooooo glad I don’t sit next to you lot at the match… Doooooooom army…. Then again you lot probably don’t even gan.

  • TheFatController

    Most teams finished on 40-46 points last season, Palace were poor. Huddersfield were bright and inventive all season.

    Why people are shocked one team stuffed the other just shows how little people use logic when evaluating teams and the power of ‘premier league is the best league’ emperors new clothes rubbish.

    I’ve said this earlier pre-season, but when Bournemouth are giving Dan gosling a 5 year contract and burnley are staying up it’s clear not every team is spending £50m on a right back…

    • Soldier

      not every team is starting it`s campaign with 1 fit striker either

      • TheFatController

        Good point well made !

      • Mark Potter

        I thought it was mentioned that Gayle might be available tomorrow?

        • Soldier

          dont put money on it

        • anyobrien

          He’ll start

          • Geordiegiants


      • glassjawsh-got-banned

        Palace seems to be the only one

      • anyobrien

        Yeah and strikers are the only people allowed to score on a footbal pitch… No one else Eva.

    • Geordiegiants

      Why are people keep going on about Man City prices. It’s the likes of Stoke and West Brom we can’t keep up with.

    • Jezza

      Nobody expects NUFC to spend £50 million on a right back but it would be nice if we could spend £10 million on a striker. Sadly it seems that even that is too much to hope for.

  • hetonmag

    Good grief we haven’t kicked a ball in anger yet and we could be six points behind hudders, some writers on the mag should give the Samaritan’s a ring.

  • Steve Pearce

    Just shut up and get behind your team and their fans and manager you miserable timid little [email protected]

    • Guido Fawkes

      Dead right the mag is full of negative wingers.. & mackems in disguise..

      • Geordiegiants

        Nearly as many wingers as we have tried to sign.

  • StevieB

    Two teams who were supposed to be “fighting it out” with us at the bottom half in Leicester (yes some people had them as dark horses for the drop) and Watford looked really good in the last 24hrs . I’m really worried .
    I can’t get my head round the timing of that doom n gloom interview from Ashley either. I wish he’d have done it before plastering st James in “join the rafalution” banners in May 😕,

    • anyobrien

      Get a grip ffs.
      Its a long season

  • mactoon

    For gods sake its the first week.

  • Damon Horner

    Could be case that the teams at the bottom are a bit more competitive than they’re given credit for. Could be the same for us against Spurs tomorrow.

  • Desree

    My worry is goals. Palace are due for the drop and it is good news. Perhaps we can be competitive. My ownly real concern is MA bringing the team and mood down. The players want to compete as does Rafa. If Ashley has no intention then that could really kill morale.

  • Andy Mac

    I read a great article about Dean Hoyle (Huddersfield Chairman) and realised that the amount of money you have is irrelevant it’s more to do with your love for the club and how much you’ll do for it ?

    • East Durham Mag

      That’s us f*cked then Andy.

      • Geordiegiants

        Ha ha well f’cked, our owner couldn’t give a flying about our club.

  • Cuh736

    Huddersfield beat palace, yet finished well below us. This should inspire some confidence in fans, that we can take on most of these lower half teams

  • Geordiegiants

    The only dark force against us is Jabba.

  • disqus_GFJ5SSXQ7o

    Should really take a few positives from today’s matches, we might struggle tomorrow as we are playing a top side but you never know, big crowd supporting the lads and anything can happen. I don’t think things are as bad as some make out, we do need a striker though!

    • Leazes Ender