Get your daily update and weekly newsletter by signing up today!


Mike Ashley – It really takes 9 years to realise a successful NUFC is good for business?

5 years ago

Rafa is bringing in a perfect balance of experience, youth and quality. Building a squad to get us out of the Championship, then once we are back in the top flight, a group of players who will lay a solid foundation for the future based on their experience and team spirit forged on the cold muddy pitches of the second tier, a team who will establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with.

I know, it’s all optimism, pie in the sky, Unicorns on the Town Moor and ‘Look Toto it’s the Emerald City…’ we’ve got forty six tough games ahead of us. But I honestly believe that once the players gel and start playing Rafa’s way, we will rise well above the standard of the other teams in the Championship.

There will be hard games on frozen turf on windy cold nights, but there will also be games where the experience and guile of the manager will shine through, and Newcastle will end up on the happy end of some high scoring matches.

The sort of games that boost confidence and encourage players to go for the ‘spectacular’ instead of settling for ‘safe’, exactly the sort of football that Geordies love.

As it stands, there are still players whose future is unresolved, I don’t need to list them, we all know who they are, players whose lack of passion and commitment got us where exactly we are. Don’t let the door slam on your arse on the way out!

However, I  am a gazillion percent certain that the players who have committed their future to Newcastle United will look back on the 2016/17 season as a year of building, improving and establishing themselves as part of a winning team that the City, the Club and the worldwide Black & White Army will be proud of.

Well the downside, it’s Newcastle United, there’s always a downside, another ‘shoe waiting to drop’, another banana skin… amidst all the euphoria of the Rafalution, deep down inside I still have a teensy, weensy smidgeon of doubt, and its down to Mike Ashley. It has seemingly taken him nine years to realise that a successful Newcastle United is good for his worldwide sports goods empire. He is currently the 454th richest person in the world, that means out of the estimated 7.5 billion people on this rock, he is in the top 0.000000666 percent… and yes I did spot the six zeros and recurring six numerals.

Well Mikey, I knew that you were screwing up at Saint James’ Park, as did another million or so residents of Tyneside, and probably double that number worldwide, so how come it took you so long to catch on huh? I somehow find the idea of a sudden ‘revelation’ quite alien to the usual Mike Ashley business plan, you don’t get to be comparing bank accounts with the likes of Donald Trump and Richard Branson without planning and plotting the movement of every last cent …

Mike… exactly what the f*** are you up to?

The very crew that steered the Newcastle United ship into iceberg after iceberg are still on the ‘bridge’. The likes of Pardew, Carver and McClaren took us to the brink of disaster again and again, we ended up playing sh*t football, signing useless players who never even made the bench never mind the first team, making clueless decisions and generally dividing a fan base that previously was one of the most ‘United’ in the world.

Now suddenly you have decided that is a ‘bad’ thing and it must change, so how come the main people behind that state of affairs still have jobs?

Mike… exactly what the f*** are you up to?

Will you lull us into a false sense of security, then pull some stunt so dastardly that even a dastard shaped dastard simply oozing dastardly deeds will look … well … errr undastardly compared to you?

So Mike Ashley... exactly what the f*** are you up to?



If you would like to feature on The Mag, submit your article to [email protected]

Have your say

© 2021 The Mag. All Rights Reserved. Design & Build by Mediaworks