The words of Moussa Sissoko on Tuesday had Newcastle fans in tears, tears of laughter!

Declaring that he couldn’t possibly stay at a club like Newcastle United, now that he’d helped relegate them, Sissoko gave various reasons as to why an escape from Tyneside was the only way forward.

Of course, all of these reasons were for his benefit and not the club that has paid him a fortune for very little in return over the course of the last two and a half years or so.

Newcastle fans met his fake grief at Newcastle’s plight and selfish patter with glee, hoping to be rid of this deluded ‘superstar’ who has done nothing to deserve that rating in recent memory.

So Moussa Sissoko wants to leave and Newcastle fans are queuing up to give him a lift to the airport, so what could possibly go wrong…

Wednesday morning has seen the Shields Gazette reveal that their information is that Newcastle will ‘reluctantly’ sell but only if a club meets their £20m valuation.

Oh dear.

Moussa Sissoko obviously thinks he is worth that, if you believed the way he talks about himself you would think he is well worth that, only problem being that no other football club is going to think it.

A player who can only rouse himself a handful of times a season and has roughly that many decent games per year, an attacking midfielder who managed one goal last season.

Yes, they are sure to be queuing around the block for such a talent.

To get to the heart of Sissoko’s true level of delusion, one of the big reasons he gives as having to leave is to ‘continue to be in the France team’.

Ehhh, sorry Moussa but I hate to tell you, you aren’t in the France team and haven’t been for a long time. It is now over a year since Moussa Sissoko started a game for France and over the space of 11 matches he hasn’t started a single one.

If he said he wanted to move to guarantee he stays on the French bench then it would at least have some credibility, just like he would be on the bench if by some miracle a top team actually bought him.

So sadly, at this moment in time, it looks as though eight weeks on Saturday Newcastle fans will be reaquainted with £20m Moussa Sissoko in the Championship unless two things happen.

Firstly, Newcastle more or less half their £20m valuation and secondly, Sissoko more than halves his ambition in terms of the kind of club he thinks he can attract.

Moussa Sissoko speaking to Foot Mercato (quotes from yesterday):

“I grieve for me, for the club, for my family and many other people. It was a complicated season. Many things happened during the season. Things are done. Now it is for me to look ahead.

“It is flattering that a coach like him, a great coach, wants to keep me, but I think he knows that I get to a level where playing in the Championship would be difficult for me. I must continue my development.

I aspire to play for the biggest clubs in Europe and continue to be in the France team. I think he understands. Today, if I play in the Championship, I forget about the France team and many other things.

“I have already had a discussion with him (Rafa). My representative will have a discussion with him. I think he knows what I want, where I want to go. So I hope there will be no problem for me to find my happiness at another club.

“I gave everything there for three years. I hope that today they will be smart enough to understand that to continue my development, I need to keep playing at the highest level – through another club. As I want to stay in the France team I could not stay in the Championship. There will be discussions. I hope they will go in my favour. I want to leave.

“I want to continue my career in England, at a club that plays in the Champions League, because I think the English league is the championship that best fits my style of play.”