Get your daily update and weekly newsletter by signing up today!


Bring on Liverpool

7 years ago

So, the wait is over, the Klopp derby has arrived, the English version of El Classico, Jurgen verses Klippety, Newcastle v Liverpool.

So, what will happen? Well the big question in my head is, will I go? Although I did not go to Palace, enough was surely enough!

We warmed up for the Klopp derby with a not unexpected thrashing at the hands of Mr Smug, meanwhile Liverpool scraped a 6 (six) 1 win against a very good Southampton team.

So as the time nears, what will I do? Well let me tell you (if you’re interested ), I’m going to stick to my guns, stick to my guns means going to settle for the warmth of the club and the delights of Sky TV.

Although I also have a rugby season ticket with the Falcons, and the two games clash, I will have to watch our game on TV.

I can’t promise that this will be a permanent stay away but it is a small step, one small step for Brian …one small snakebite profit for the (social) club.

So, what will happen…well it would just be like this bizarre football club to turn over Liverpool on Sunday, surely not, probably not, doubtful to say the least, but stranger things have happened. What is more likely is that we will get a repeat of the high scoring drubbings we have suffered in recent times.

So what sort of team do we play, well he can pick the groundsman for me if he has some bollocks, because believe me there are plenty current incumbents who seem to be more eunuch than unique, spineless bollockless individuals!

Back in the 80s when we were really crap and football seemed fun, we often had half a dozen donkeys or more in black and white, but at least they tried. Bobby Shinton, Billy Rafferty, Jim Pearson, John Connolly to name but a few, all equally useless, but at least they rolled their sleeves up and got stuck in… least that is how I remember, nowadays they just wear gloves and sulk.

So back to the matter in hand, if we keep Elliott in goal and play the groundsman at centre half, we can utilise the tea lady up front, possibly bring in the bus driver on the left hand side of midfield, that leaves only 7 positions to fill, so we are looking for the 14 biggest testicles to fill the rest of the starting 11, no room for the likes of Sissoko or Coloccini as theirs departed weeks ago.

Trying to make light of this is the only way I can deal with it, I honestly think we will concede four or more on Sunday, will we score five…yeah right.

Elsewhere, the Chinese sneaked into the premier league by buying a share in Manchester City, like they really need the money. Why can’t someone come and give Ashley  what he wants, buy the club and clear the decks of the rancidity that flows through the veins of this rotting corpse once and for all.

Life is so unfair and to top it all Christmas is just round the corner.  Christmas, a time for horrible jumpers and unwanted relatives with snotty nosed kids, my only enjoyment at Christmas was the football…..and fatty spoilt that!

Bah Humbug,  Ebeneezer signing off.

(To feature like Brian, send in your articles for our website to [email protected])


If you would like to feature on The Mag, submit your article to [email protected]

Have your say

© 2022 The Mag. All Rights Reserved. Design & Build by Mediaworks