ARE YOU….

Desperate?

Out of work?

Have no professional pride?

Willing to work for less than anybody else in equivalent posts?

Happy to have no say in how you carry out your role?

Willing to take on an existing support team who have proved not up to the job?

Be prepared to say anything you are told to say when speaking to the media?

Able to face humiliation and to be seen as a laughing stock?

Not bothered about saying something that contradicts what you said yesterday?

Manage a demoralised, mainly foreign, (relatively) low wage unmotivated workforce?

Don’t mind working without the necessary ‘Tools’ for the job?

We have just the job for you.

Apply in crayon to:

Mr Lee Charnley

Chief (Executive) Clown

St James’ Park Circus

Newcastle Upon Tyne

(Can) NE1 (please come and save us from Mike Ashley…?)

(***This Head Coach job has been previously advertised, any credible people who have already been in  touch – don’t bother us again)



  • Boycottspurs

    Sad but unfortunately very true. It’s going to be a struggle year on year. No ambition and the heart & soul ripped out of the club. Well done Ashley & Charnley, you have finally managed to dismantle our once proud club & turn us into a laughing stock. Surely this was the aim all along? Nobody could keep making the mistakes you make unless it is intentional. Enjoy your Zombie club, I won’t be back until you have gone. RIP NUFC

  • Toonarden

    BoycottSpurs – Too right fella. I’m just waiting for the appointment to be made. If it’s Carver or McClaren (or another clown with Carver as assistant coach) that’s my 60 year association with this club finished.
    Ashley will have achieved what even Lord Westwood, Alderman McKeag, Bill McGarry, Graeme Souness and other notorious underachievers over the years have ever done – destroy my love and interest for The Toon.

  • Peter Lamb

    Boring and not funny

  • Paul Patterson

    Hahahaha. Funny.

    NE1 who thinks otherwise . .

  • Chemical Dave

    Actually, it wasn’t but you are.

  • Porciestreet

    Miserable Git…! My God, wev’e got to have something to cheer us up.
    Ashley oot HWTF.

  • A lex

    Probably in a SD ‘one sie’.

  • Jimmywayhay

    Is this a joke ? Or is this advert posted by Newcastle United ?

  • kuromori

    What I’d like to know is if McClaren’s was one of the 80 job applications that Penfold supposedly had to work through. Wouldn’t think so, given Derby’s response at the time…

  • Sickandtiredstill

    kuromori Well, tapping up a manager under contract is illegal. So Charnley would have had to ask Derby’s permission to speak to him.
    If he did that back in January and he is still the No1 choice now then I don’t believe for a second anyone else was even approached or considered.

  • kuromori

    Sickandtiredstill Tapping up a player is illegal, too, and we all know that never happens.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    kuromori Sickandtiredstill I’m sure it does – it’s not generally freely reported on in and by the press for months though is it!