Everything is awesome
For those of you who saw ‘The Lego Movie’, you will be familiar with the title track from the movie, ‘Everything Is Awesome’.
So taking into account all of the doom and gloom around these parts recently, and in response to those who have called for us to view events in a more positive light, here are five reasons why we should all be basking in the warm glow of the Toon summer.
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The wage bill has been slashed thanks to the removal of pesky footballers like Jonas, Raylor, Santon, Ben Arfa and M’biwa, not to mention some of the formerly promising youngsters we spent years developing. That’s an improvement to the bottom line of the accounts which we can all salute.
Selling off the aforementioned Santon and M’biwa on the quiet after an initial loan period manages the expectations of the coaching staff, and allows them time to adjust to not having the players at their disposal, a very thoughtful approach. Plus, another improvement to the bottom line, genius!
By staying in the lower half of the league the club successfully avoids that troublesome Europa League, with the double benefit of preventing unnecessary costs for the club, as well as saving the fans money. This is a double win and certainly helps to protect that all important bottom line.
The club does a superb job of managing supporters expectations through their ‘preferred media partners’.
The subtle dissemination of ‘information’ allows us all to know that the club will firmly be basing expenditure on generated monies, and a small part of the £34m tea kitty which Mike keeps in a biscuit tin in his filing cabinet, probably comprised of £2 coins and 50p pieces.
By avoiding all mention of the £70m+ income received from the TV contracts it stops people wondering if it will be thrown around like confetti on new employees, who will probably also expect some kind of wage. When obviously it will be looked after by our generous benefactor in lieu of the ‘loans’ he gave the club to save it from its previous troubles. The bottom line keeps getting healthier and healthier!
Why employ a top coach and then expect coaching duties to be shared? By successfully avoiding employing other coaches it allows Steve McClaren to fully focus on doing what he can learn to do best, single-handedly coaching the entire squad ! If he is poorly, there is always Pedro and Bob Moncur who could cover him anyway. Another wage saved !
So, as you can see the club is doing a top job in many aspects you possibly hadn’t even considered.
Ok, so relegation might become an issue but by that time the club will have so much money that we’ll just buy our own league and declare ourselves Champions every season.
Kudos to the board and now hopefully all the doubters can stop their stupid moaning about improving the team and challenging for trophies, it’s not all about football you know, think about the balance sheet!
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