Mike Ashley might have the NUFC PR machine on its highest possible setting but you really can’t fool all of the people (Newcastle fans) all of the time.

With four Premier League matches left to go and Newcastle managing to involve themselves in a relegation battle that was really none of their business, these are the facts that tell you all you need to know as to where Newcastle United are at:

The only Premier League team to concede more goals than Newcastle’s 57 goals are QPR with 59.

NUFC have won 2 matches out of 16 under John Carver.

Sunderland have won only 3 of their last 23 Premier League games, 2 of the 3 were against Newcastle.

NUFC have lost their last 7 matches (a club record).

Newcastle have failed to score in 12 of the 34 PL matches.

Newcastle have scored a single goal in 12 of the 34 PL matches.

In only 10 out of 34 PL matches have Newcastle scored more than 1 goal.

In the last 21 competitive games, NUFC have won 3.

It is 7 weeks since Newcastle scored away from home.

In the last 142 days, NUFC have won one away match.

12 of the 14 players who played against Swansea have scored 5 Premier League goals between them all season.

Surely the stats above can’t get any worse….?



  • Porciestreet

    The most damning fact of all is that we have given the 5hite two of their three wins………………………!
    Mike Ashley,  GET YOUR FINGER OUT SHARP AS YOU like…..!

  • Jarmin Geordie

    Porciestreet Yep, even if we’d managed 2 draws against the mackems they along with QPR and Burnley would have been doomed to the championship and we wouldn’t be sweating on relegation but another gamble by the owner may misfire

  • SGM

    F.F.S. Blah, Blah, Blah. Same old shite, from the same old author.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    NUFC owes (at least) 18 million more in ‘debt’ than before Ashley arrived.

  • Paul Soulsby

    The fact that the jamrags have won 3 of their last 23 is something to be positive about surely ?, given 2 of the 3 were against us.

  • PeterRobson

    In reply to the authors´ final question:  “Surely the stats above can’t get any worse….?”

    Don´t be daft !!! Of course the stats can get worse !!!

    There are still 4 games to watch the team capitulate. (setting a never to be beaten in your lifetime record along the way).

    We have enough time to see if the incumbent Village idiot can surpass his predecessor in terms of falling even lower in our respect for him (for those that still stand beind him).

    Let´s be opimistic and embrace John Carver for who and what he is: He worked with Sir Bobby Robson don´t you know, and he is a Geordie !!!!

  • Chemical Dave

    SimperingGormlessMug, how about you post an article? Go on, can’t wait to read a cobbled together set of paragraphs which basically say little more than “careful what you wish for”.

  • SGM

    Chemical Dave Its in the post.

  • Chemical Dave

    Email obviously, you strike me as someone who’d be worried about the walk to the post office just incase something bad happened.