The only one of the Newcastle Coaching staff that I would keep is the one who drives the bus!

On a more serious note, if Mike Ashley did by some remote chance appoint a credible manager, what on earth would he make of his hired ‘help’?

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Whilst there is universal desperation for a ‘proper’ manager to be appointed, that runs alongside a seeming acceptance that the current Newcastle Coaching staff will remain. A big part of that being that fans think Ashley would be unwilling to pay up John Carver’s contract as an assistant manager – but what’s that compared to what it would have cost Ashley (and us!) if Newcastle had been relegated???

Which decent manager/head coach doesn’t instantly want/need to bring in his own tried and trusted team?

Fair enough if Newcastle had looked great over the last few years but they have been anything but.

2012/13 – Almost relegated and only saved on second last day of the season.

2013/14 – Total collapse in second half of the season, only winning 5 of last 21 matches.

2014/15 – Only stayed up on last day of the season, ending up with 3 wins in last 20 matches.

Can you tell me a single player who has improved under the coaching at the club?

The players haven’t got a clue how to defend corners/set-pieces.

The players don’t have a clue how to score from corners/set-pieces.

The defence has been atrocious and conceded the following number of goals:

2012/13 68 goals (Only 3 clubs condeded more)

2013/14 59 goals (Only 5 conceded more)

2014/15 63 goals (Only 1 club conceded more)

When it comes to specifics, what has happened with our goalkeepers?

The odd time Rob Elliot is ‘fit’ enough to get on the pitch he looks a couple of stone overweight.

Jak Alnwick looked way below standard and unprepared when called upon.

Whilst if you are honest, Tim Krul is a shadow of what he was in that 2011/12 season. He can’t even kick the ball properly half the time now, the QPR winner a typical example.

The goalkeeping shambles has to be lain at the door of Andy Woodman specifically, brought in by Alan Pardew, you have to say that he has overseen a desperate situation.

As for the rest?

Dave Watson only has relatively little past experience which was coaching young players at Wigan.

Steve Stone had never worked anywhere before getting a job at Newcastle.

Same with Peter Beardsley, never worked anywhere but Newcastle.

As for John Carver?

Whether he is/was a decent number two, he is simply toxic now where the fans are concerned.

A record of 3 wins in 20 is disastrous and almost brought relegation on us, whilst his off-pitch press conferences have been embarrassing.

Appointing a decent manager and keeping this lot, is like bringing in Lewis Hamilton and giving him a fifteen year old Ford Fiesta to drive.

Time for not just a new manager but a new broom to bring a whole new professional set-up in, with a track record of success.

City Hall Gifts -

  • amacdee

    Agree 100%. I dont think every fan has given the new Coach role a great deal of thought. If, for example, the newbie Clement arrived he’d fall about laughing at the moribund bunch who’ve been stealing a living for years now at Darsley Park.

    If it was up to me I’d shove them all out, including Beardo who has shown his tendency for ass licking on numerous occasions, and look toward the guys from Southampton and/or Reading to bring in some desperately needed quality to the development team.
    The problem is that Fatman knows F all about football, even with the alleged investment in the Academy it took forever to reach Category one status while the likes of Boro, the Mackems, Wolves and even Blackburn got there way ahead of us.
    There is only one way to attack this root and branch change but the Fatman just wont allow it !

  • Andgeo

    Agree 100%. Carver has shown that he has a negative impact on team morale and actually de-motivates players. This is quite evident when you listen to him rambling on. We need Ashley to do away with the whole structure he has devised which is obviously the problem. Get in a decent manager with ambition and let him get on with it!



  • ash1001

    Dont stop at the coaches:-
    Owner – says nothing, when he did we all treat it a ‘wait and see’ situation

    Club Board – Lee Charnley, no football nouse, lack of personality, in charge from been office clerk.
    Club Board – John Irving, jumping ship, seems a canny sort of guy
    Club Board – Mike Ashley  – see above, not into decision making so it seems.
    Football Board? – where that came from I do not know – Graham Carr,  not a brilliant track record, lower league stuff apart from a spell working with David Pleat at Spurs, and a short spell at Man City.
    Then we have John Carver – Enough said

    Summary – Writing it up, will be finished when we appoint a new something or other, oh sod it, CRAP sums it up, when the likes of Klopp, Billic, etc do not appear to be worthy of consideration

  • Mal44

    The Pardew compensation money would probably be enough to get rid of them all but he won’t do it. You’re right though – which decent coach will come to head up that discredited lot.

  • DavidDrape

    its appears obvious to me that the big man insists on sticking with his philosophy of having local people/connection/affinity with newcastle as ex fans/players etc so if he sticks to this principle for a manager than it looks like more doom and gloom

  • alreet

    It all hinges on the head coach appointment. If its carver u may as well burn ur shirt. Anyone else that has actually managed or acheived anything we may get lucky.

  • GarryThompson

    Why oh why oh why haven’t the club announced a new coach/manager/head honcho yet??? If Ashley’s statement of intent is to be believed in any way shape or form, then Monday gone was the pivotal time to announce the new boss, this would insure continuity leading into the new season for players and staff present, and incoming players(if any) would know who they were playing for and be more familiar with tactics and philosophy.
    The way way Ashley/charley run affairs at NUFC is completely incredulous, flawed and ultimately, very unprofessional.

  • GToon

    See the Advocaat has left Sunderland. Bet they get a decent manager in before Charnley even realises we haven’t got a manager.

  • GToon

    I reckon it’s hard to fill a job nobody wants with the only person showing an interest is the person none of us want. Still as long as we are sound financially……….. That’s the main thing according to some people of this forum.

  • NottsToon

    Can we have an apologist in here to balance out this comments thread please? Far too much consensus of opinion going on here. Paging Wor Monga, SMG? Any of you out there or are you away with your parents for half term?

  • GToon

    The coach driver is a decent bloke too. When our u21s played Stoke he gave Gael Bigi 30 quid to get a taxi back to his mates house in the midlands rather than come back on the bus with the team.

  • GToon

    See if you can get that intravenous mp bloke up. He can type for ever. I had to go to bed and he just kept on going! He’s a mate of yours isn’t he judging by that chat you had about finance! Has it stopped yet or is it still going. Bet he tries to get the last “FC” in at the game too.

  • NottsToon

    GToon You mean Jackanory? Lovely bloke, talks utter sh1t like but a top man nevertheless. Last I saw of him he was trying to convince some school kids that he sold some paint to Jackie Chan….. he had proof and everything….couldn’t share it though…..confidentiality you see.

  • GToon

    Was it that rainbow paint? A liter of that and 4 glass hammers wasn’t it.

  • Brown Bottle

    NottsToon ..Anybody else miss APB&WA ? Such an entertaining idiot. There’s a lucky village out there somewhere.

  • Brown Bottle

    GToon ..Tartan paint and a long stand.

  • DownUnderMag

    I’m not expecting us to get a new manager straight away, in fact i’m happy we haven’t since that would mean either Carver has kept the job or McClaren has been appointed (neither is any better than the other if you ask me).

    The main problem with the coaching staff for me though is the lack of development of players and the seeming abyss between youth/academy and first team, not in terms of fitness but just general footballing nouse.  Why is it so difficult to expect some kind of natural progression from one level to the next, we’re the same club and yet our youth players look like they’ve never even met the senior players let alone have any kind of understanding of how the first team would expect them to play.  I guess it might help if we had coaching staff who knew how the seniors were expected to play too, but for me, the whole club should be streamlined, feeding from one level to the next with a common understanding of training methods, tactics and coaching.

  • Ian McKie


  • Gordonthetoony

    I’d bring in Stevie Harper in to coach our keepers following his release from Hull.