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It’s like going to the dentist

7 years ago

The team masquerading as Newcastle United have managed to pick up just 1 point from the last 30 available, let that sink in for a moment.

During this abysmal run we have seen four players dismissed, rumours of physical altercations between players, increasingly bizarre statements from the nugget in charge and, in what has now become the standard, yet another defeat by those from down the road.

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The club has been on the verge of assured safety for 12 weeks now and yet almost miraculously has managed to win only one game of football in their own stadium since beating Everton back in December.

This clutch of assembled facts needs to be considered by every man, woman and child (image above thanks to Adam Barnsley) in possession in possession of a ticket, season or otherwise, for this weekend’s season anti-climax game.

These facts should be considered in contrast to the soundbites of the last couple of weeks from the coach, the players, former players and anyone else on the Sp**ts Direct payroll who loudly tells the fans that they should show their support and deliver their unwavering devotion.

They say this as if to suggest that this has ever been less than forthcoming and to pointedly hint that if this does not occur, then the fans need look no further than themselves when apportioning blame for this whole embarrassing episode. Truly insulting does not even begin to cover it.

Another point to consider is the promise from the club to bring forward the fans forum meeting, as it was deemed too important to wait until the end of the season.

Well, the season ends on Sunday and what further comment has there been from the club? None, nothing, no communication whatsoever.

Not that we should be surprised by that, not that the club has ever shown any clear intention to communicate in an honest manner with its paying customers in the last eight years but still, in the current situation, it is another knife in the heart of the support.

What needs to be realised is that these statements concerning the requirement for support are not a genuine call to arms. Newcastle United has always been home to an army of zealots who demand that their passion is matched by everyone around them; players, managers and other fans.

These statements are made in preparation of apportioning blame, deflecting criticism and establishing a popular narrative of the Toon Army being the worst fans in the country by making our position untenable, and driving a further wedge between fellow fans, but it will not work this time.

Mike Ashley’s chickens are coming home to roost; his quest for profits, cost cutting and inaction as an absentee landlord are what has landed the club in its current predicament and now people are seeing his grand plan in full glory at last. To profit by asset stripping and the maintenance of mediocrity allowing him a share of the richest contract in the history of English football.

It was obvious all along to some and now it is obvious to many more with the feeling growing stronger every single day.

It is true to say that under the current ownership the club is dead.

All that keeps the life support plugged in is the fans who refuse to let it die, but die it must in order to be reborn.

More and more fans are now walking away from Ashley United and there will soon come a tipping point where less people will care than don’t, the stadium attendance will noticeably reduce, shirt sales will tail off and the cash cow will stop giving milk as it slips into obscurity.

Scary as that sounds, it is exactly what is required to happen if we want to be sure that the parasite leaves the club.

On a personal note I would hope that people question their conscience enough to not attend this weekend’s game. The arguments of lending support to the players are a mockery when you consider just how well this shower of has been supported all season long.

They don’t deserve you, the owner doesn’t deserve you, Sky television doesn’t deserve you, and after this season you really should be looking for something more fun and rewarding to do.

I’m going away to visit friends on the coast, when the match is on I will be in a car on the way home from a drunken night out, no doubt asleep in the back seat. I will not even look at the score until I get home.

We are currently damned, whatever happens, in terms of relegation we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Relegation leads to obscurity, survival leads to a continuation of what is backed by a disaffected mass of Premier League Super Fans, and it is for this reason that the weekend should hold no fear.

Like going for a filling at the dentist, all we can know for sure is that whatever happens next is going to hurt, but it will get better….eventually.


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