The team masquerading as Newcastle United have managed to pick up just 1 point from the last 30 available, let that sink in for a moment.

During this abysmal run we have seen four players dismissed, rumours of physical altercations between players, increasingly bizarre statements from the nugget in charge and, in what has now become the standard, yet another defeat by those from down the road.

(Notts Toon is just one of our ever expanding team of regular/irregular writers, send in your original articles for our website to [email protected] and share them with the world – all views are the author’s own etc etc)

The club has been on the verge of assured safety for 12 weeks now and yet almost miraculously has managed to win only one game of football in their own stadium since beating Everton back in December.

This clutch of assembled facts needs to be considered by every man, woman and child (image above thanks to Adam Barnsley) in possession in possession of a ticket, season or otherwise, for this weekend’s season anti-climax game.

These facts should be considered in contrast to the soundbites of the last couple of weeks from the coach, the players, former players and anyone else on the Sp**ts Direct payroll who loudly tells the fans that they should show their support and deliver their unwavering devotion.

They say this as if to suggest that this has ever been less than forthcoming and to pointedly hint that if this does not occur, then the fans need look no further than themselves when apportioning blame for this whole embarrassing episode. Truly insulting does not even begin to cover it.

Another point to consider is the promise from the club to bring forward the fans forum meeting, as it was deemed too important to wait until the end of the season.

Well, the season ends on Sunday and what further comment has there been from the club? None, nothing, no communication whatsoever.

Not that we should be surprised by that, not that the club has ever shown any clear intention to communicate in an honest manner with its paying customers in the last eight years but still, in the current situation, it is another knife in the heart of the support.

What needs to be realised is that these statements concerning the requirement for support are not a genuine call to arms. Newcastle United has always been home to an army of zealots who demand that their passion is matched by everyone around them; players, managers and other fans.

These statements are made in preparation of apportioning blame, deflecting criticism and establishing a popular narrative of the Toon Army being the worst fans in the country by making our position untenable, and driving a further wedge between fellow fans, but it will not work this time.

Mike Ashley’s chickens are coming home to roost; his quest for profits, cost cutting and inaction as an absentee landlord are what has landed the club in its current predicament and now people are seeing his grand plan in full glory at last. To profit by asset stripping and the maintenance of mediocrity allowing him a share of the richest contract in the history of English football.

It was obvious all along to some and now it is obvious to many more with the feeling growing stronger every single day.

It is true to say that under the current ownership the club is dead.

All that keeps the life support plugged in is the fans who refuse to let it die, but die it must in order to be reborn.

More and more fans are now walking away from Ashley United and there will soon come a tipping point where less people will care than don’t, the stadium attendance will noticeably reduce, shirt sales will tail off and the cash cow will stop giving milk as it slips into obscurity.

Scary as that sounds, it is exactly what is required to happen if we want to be sure that the parasite leaves the club.

On a personal note I would hope that people question their conscience enough to not attend this weekend’s game. The arguments of lending support to the players are a mockery when you consider just how well this shower of sh1t has been supported all season long.

They don’t deserve you, the owner doesn’t deserve you, Sky television doesn’t deserve you, and after this season you really should be looking for something more fun and rewarding to do.

I’m going away to visit friends on the coast, when the match is on I will be in a car on the way home from a drunken night out, no doubt asleep in the back seat. I will not even look at the score until I get home.

We are currently damned, whatever happens, in terms of relegation we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Relegation leads to obscurity, survival leads to a continuation of what is backed by a disaffected mass of Premier League Super Fans, and it is for this reason that the weekend should hold no fear.

Like going for a filling at the dentist, all we can know for sure is that whatever happens next is going to hurt, but it will get better….eventually.



  • Wallsendstu

    The unfortunate thing is that on a scale of importance for the fat man NUFC supporters are bottom of the list. He has no interest in what people think or say, he treats supporters as he does his employees “if you don’t like it then sod off as there are many others who can take your place” . I find both him and penfold as repulsive little slugs who have no interest in the area or the people who love the club. How penfold can move around the city beats me and the fact that the fat man dosen’t show his fat smug face tells it all.
    A visit to the dentist for me is not a chore as my dentist shows care and interest and tells me what is needed for my treatment and he will control the pain. I also know that he won’t take my back teeth just to line his pockets. The fat man only has two interests his tat shop and making money the more he can squeeze out of NUFC the better for him. Any fan who invests any money on the merchandise on offer especially the latest strip need to look very carefully at themselves in the mirror. Remember before you put your hand deeper into your pocket where you come in the level of importance and don’t let the fat man make another penny off you.

  • IainT0842

    Very well said!

  • Willvenus1

    The noose is tightening. It’s being reported that third in command and Finance Director at SJP John Irving has jumped ship, along with his assistant David Gilroy. Under pressure……….

  • Porciestreet

    Wallsendstu I think we as a group should all boycott the new strip. I would sooner buy either a Notts county or Juve top and still be seen as Black and white rather than give fatty another copper. 
    My next shirt ( I’m living in Cyprus) will be of  ” PAOK” From the Greek premier league And i shall pick it up in June when I’m there visiting with my daughter giving birth. Even better would be the Bobby Robson shirt for the Rugby league weekend.

    See you all in Black and White stripes next season

  • Porciestreet

    What a very good piece

  • Wallsendstu

    The only thing I would add is to make sure they are not bought from the fat mans tat shops or are manufactured by any company he is involved with.

  • prestondave

    Another prolific piece from Notts Toon. Really hope people sit up and take notice of what is going on at SJP whether we get relegated or not. Sick of thinking about it.

  • Demented_Man

    Very well said.  The ‘get behind the lads’ argument must be damn powerful as it should have run out of steam a long time before now, but people still listen to it.
    Bet it still gets used if we get relegated.  ‘The club are in dire straits and need your support more than ever’, Carver or another puppet will say.  Blah, blah, blah, yawn.
    #boycottwestham

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Most important game in 6 years? 
    Plainly Carver & Co have forgotten about (or don’t wish us to recall) May 12th, 2013. It went to the second last game of the season, and a win against already relegated QPR, to secure our PL survival.
    2 years later, here we are again for the third time in Fatty’s ownership.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Demented_Man For sure – even while Carver has just said he doesn’t pay attention to the ‘supporter situation’.
    Just like the Club as a whole, it;s all about what we can give them while getting nothing back in return.

  • Mal44

    Porciestreet Wallsendstu  I can’t believe anyone in their right mind will buy the new shirt.

  • TonnekToon

    Well said NT , How often do they need to call for support from the fans . As for the the regime, its all about Flak dodging , they don’t want restless natives spoiling any atmosphere ( I use the word loosely at the moment ) do they care that for us it could be a calamitous day. At  the end of the day the whole sorry mess lies at their own feet.

  • LeeNacson

    Dont know who to support more on the weekend, Newcastle or man u? hahaha horrible to ever say that but unfortunately its true.