Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots has been said about Newcastle’s fall from mid-table security to a full blown relegation fight, as they lose EIGHT league games in a row.

Every man and his dog, as per usual, throughout the footballing media world add their two pence opinion as to how bad we are, how we are facing relegation in the face, how we are the worst team in the league, how we won’t get another point this season etc etc etc.

(To feature like Toon Bano, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views those of the author etc etc)

Now not that I’m saying I don’t agree or think they don’t have a point, but this should not deflect from what is the actual reality, we still won’t go down.

Reason being that Newcastle still, despite all of the pathetic performances we have sat through, have destiny in their own hands and have pretty much the perfect fixtures any team in our position could hope for.

Home games against West Brom, who have now confirmed their Premier League status by getting to the 40 point mark, and West Ham on the last day who have nothing to play for and their form this calendar year isn’t that much better than ours. Between these games is the perfect away match at QPR, who should be already down and out by the time we play them.

Considering the fact that very realistically one win could be enough to keep us up, for Newcastle to go ELEVEN games without a win in total come the season end is something even NUFC would stuggle to ‘achieve’.

Whereas our most likely direct opponents in this fight to stave of relegation have pretty horrendous games to find points. Sunderland have to travel to in-form Everton, Arsenal and Champions Chelsea. They also have a home game against flying Leicester and of course they can’t both win so we will keep one of these teams in our sights at the very least.

Hull are below us with the same amount of games left to play. They will probably pick up 3 points versus Burnley at home but then have to overcome Spurs away and Man Utd at home. Not exactly favourites for either of those remaining two games. Now Leicester are an interesting one. They have a point less than us but have decent fixtures left to play.

A home game versus Southampton is a flip of coin as to how it will go. Either Saints will not show up like they did pretty much against the mackems, with nothing to play for, or they will stick in the type of performance that has got them so much success this season with no pressure on them to perform. If this were to happen then the game against the mackems at the stadium of plight falls perfectly into our hands. We can’t lost either way no matter the result.

Then there is Aston Villa. The FA Cup finalists have turned their season around and aren’t odds on to go down as it stands, but all it takes is a dodgy result at home to West Ham and they will have something to think about with trips to Southampton and Arsenal to come and the FA Cup final distraction. They sit on the same points as us right now and a much needed win for us versus West Brom could pile the pressure back on them.

Now all of the above is meaningless unless we sort ourselves out and start picking up some serious points ie a home win against West Brom. Form is only ever temporary and it doesn’t matter if you have lost eight games in a row, or won eight in a row, it always comes to end at some point. Always.

If those Newcastle players aren’t terrified enough of being relegated from an almost impossible position then they will be now. The fear must surely kick them out of their slump. Even if Carver’s ‘motivational’ team talks aren’t capable of it.

We’re in the worst form of our Premier League lives. We don’t have a manager in place to at least inspire calm and confidence that we can stop the rot.

Every man and his dog are licking their lips in the hope our club will continue to lose every game it plays, to either point and laugh at, or because they support one of the other clubs near the bottom. Fact is, we are Newcastle United.

We were in an almost impossible position to be relegated for a reason, we were good enough to get to 35 points in February. We are good enough to get at least 3 from 9 with the fixtures we have left. Let’s get real.

If we don’t get real and continue to embrace the negativity the whole footballing world insist on throwing on top of us to suicidal proportions, then we will go down after 38 games asking ourselves how in the hell did that happen?!

We have the players to get us out of this so let’s back em to get the job done. Williamson being unavailable for two games is a GOOD thing. I would much rather local lad Dummett (if his hamstring injury doesn’t rule him out) be in central defence than that plank. Good riddance.

newcastle fans

Cisse might be back so we could have at least a goal scorer on the pitch. Even if it takes Sammy to strike one against his backside to get it in the net like last season I’ll take it!

We can’t allow ourselves to sleepwalk our way through this nightmare just because the footballing media enjoy piling sleeping pills down our throats for their own amusement.

Spit em out, get a good firm slap on the face and sort this nonsense out. One win from a home game against West Brom, QPR away or West Ham at home on the final day is not the stuff of nightmares by anyone’s standards. Just think about Burnley and QPR right now. They would give any amount of money to have our points tally and fixtures so like I say…GET REAL.

Wake the hell up, get the win we need and we won’t go down in a month of Sundays. Enough is enough.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

“Special


  • Andgeo

    We don’t have the players, we don’t have a manager, we don’t have any momentum and despite the remaining 3 games looking winnable on paper, the REALITY is that we are not good enough. With the exception of a few games in November when cisse was fit we have been the worst team in the division by a country mile for well over a year now. “Our” club deserves to be relegated and most likely will be. Have you watched our games???

  • NottsToon

    I think that the author is perhaps the one needing to “get real”.

  • ggeordie1

    are the nots forest pair pair available for us

  • Jarra MIck

    Bano we were saying this 10 games ago and we were 66-1 what price are we now? I hope your right but relegation is a real possibility don’t kid yourself otherwise.

  • pinit

    So hope your right but when Steve Mc Claren  turns you down you know the club in trouble .
    This situation with fans screaming from the roof tops has been on-going for weeks, has it made
    any difference to the pride and passion NO. it just keeps getting more of a pantomime. This could have
    been sorted out months ago by slug sticking hes hand in his wallet or the clubs funds. went for the cheap option cost us millions in tv money even if we do stay up (points equal pounds) anyway for me its beyond
    whether we stay up just want rid and Newcastle back, my old club the one I loved.

  • LeazesEnder

    Remember when Man Unt capitulated against Hull to send us down…yeah we did it ourselves…. but they deliberately rested players…..

    .. I still remember the look on Fergies face at the final whistle.. stranger things happen in football… but not many!

  • LeazesEnder

    NottsToon Bano is a mathematician…. the bookies usually get it right…

  • LeazesEnder

    Andgeo The team has no strikers or defenders but apart from that we’ll pummel them in midfield …. maybe!

  • Jimmywayhay

    A last minute effort to get McLaren on board ,what a joke , how long is it now since Ashley got his compensation for Pardew ? Surely long enough to have identified ,contacted and agreed a contract with a plausible candidate ,but no a last minute effort for another no hoper, who said NO

  • wearethenorth

    “FA CUP FINAL DISTRACTION” fans now talking ashleys corporate nonsense, christ on a bike.

  • DownUnderMag

    I think we have every likelihood of making it 11 defeats in a row.  The only hope we have is that another club below us doesn’t win again this season.   The trouble is I think they will all pick up points as not only are they actually doing well, they are fighting for every inch of grass…we are simply fighting amongst ourselves.  Hopefully a miracle can happen and we pick up a point against the baggies who themselves have very little to play for…but the fact we will have a makeshift defence isn’t filling me with confidence of being able to contain their front players.

  • Tadger

    On paper your supposition looks plausible and I hope you are right however eight defeats or so ago the great immortal Prophet JC (no the one we have who thinks he is JC) like you did not see a problem and that even recently it was only five cup ties to safety. Problem is none of the predictions have come to pass and time is running out along with players up for the fight so forgive me if whilst sharing your hope do not share your optimism. Our only hope for the future (assuming we stay up ) is JC may have done us a favour with his incompetence in that Ashley in his lust for money might realise he needs to spend more to make more a modal shift from his current belief.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Ashley getting more flack now with the Scots Police searching the SD HQ in regard to RFC takeover.
    As KK would have said “Id love it, just love it if he goes down”!

  • Andgeo

    That sums up the consensus among the majority of supporters. For over 12 months performances on the pitch have been far short of what is required to stay in the premier league and there is nothing to suggest that anything is going to change for the last 3 games, in fact it seems to be getting worse by the game now as like us the players and even the head coach have given up. Charnley and fat boy still think they know what they are doing…….maybe they do and they have been planning for the championship all season? Looks that way!

  • geordie4567

    You think Saturdays “defence” will be able to stand up to Pulis’ WBA? Get real!

  • Conman

    It’s a 0.007% chance that any team can lose 11 games in a row.
    Such poor odds and yet our shower of shite look as though they could do the impossible.
    It’s only down to them. Not the fans. They are playing badly and no matter what’s happening off the field , they are the only people who could change it.
    They got us into this mess but could you really trust them to get us out of it. No, thought not.

  • geordieminer

    I can still remember Sir John telling us Ashley would be good for the club as he was pocketing the cash. Where is he now to justify that statement. Good for the club??? Not as good as he was for you Sir John.

  • ToonBano

    Once we get 4 points or so come the end of the season we will all forget about the ‘crisis’ we were in and once the new manager comes he will no doubt do a better job then Pardew and JC combined. Trust me…..and I’m not an optimist. Just the truth bearer

  • Little Davey

    ToonBano  yes you are right, if we survive, and we should, it will be ‘crisis what crisis?’ until about xmas when the whole cycle will most likely start again.

  • Paul Patterson

    I REALLY REALLY hope the players don’t read this article.

    Any side playing Newcastle at the minute, just has to attack a couple of times. Look at the kick off on Saturday, OUR KICK OFF- back of the net 40 seconds later.

    A ball passed back, doesn’t reach a team mate, captain pulls out of a challenge, corner conceded. Ball put in the box, Sissoko doesn’t jump high enough to challenge his man. 1-0 down in 40 seconds.

    It takes a special brand of lunacy to achieve that.

  • Mal44

    ” We are good enough to get at least 3 from 9 with the fixtures we have left”.

    I am puzzled as to how you have come to this conclusion as I suspect you’ve probably been to all or most of our last 8 games. Hope you’re right though.

  • AVFC58

    Get your facts right. Villa have West Ham (who in your words have “nothing to play for”) and Burnley at home. With Southampton (who managed to lose to Sunderland and also have nothing to play for) away.

    There is no away trip to Arsenal just a Cup Final.

    Personally, as a Villa supporter, I hope Newcastle stay up. Great club, great fans, shameful owner.

  • magpie9

    Bet you aren’t rushing to the bookies to put your life savings on it

  • Munich Mag

    Dream on