Newly formed New York City FC have amusingly handed out an official song sheet with suggested chants for fans to sing…

With no history on or off the pitch to inspire, the MLS club are still missing the point, especially when you look at just how bad some of the suggested songs/chants are.

(To feature like Sam, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views those of the author etc etc)

They obviously need to realise that they have to let things happen organically and the supporters to come up with their own as the games go by.

The song sheet photo below is taken from Twitter but one of the classics is….

‘You might have some history,

But we don’t give a crud,

Your team will always be a joke until they have a cup,

(Shout the Opposing team’s name)!!!!!”’

song sheet

The club have then compounded the excruciatingly embarrassing nature of it by adding at the bottom:

‘Songs not included on this list may still be sung during the game’.

It got me thinking that this could be another inspired route for Newcastle United to take, following the feeble official statement they released earlier today as to how they are tackling the relegation threat.

As for the songs NUFC could hand out to those supporters still planning to attend West Brom on Saturday….

‘There’s only one John Carver’

‘Walking along, singing a song, walking in an Ashley (budget) wonderland’

‘Tell me ma, me ma, we will be home for tea…’

‘We love you Sports Direct, we do’

‘All we are saying, is give us a point’

‘Lee Charnley’s black and white army’

‘They’re here, they’re there, they’re every f***ing where, Sports Direct adverts…’

All other suggestions gratefully received in the comments section below.


  • PeterRobson

    Here´s a suggestion (refers to the 3 stooges):

    one black one one white one and one with a bit of shite on and the stooges that run our clu-ub brought it to its knees (sung to the tune of the mayor of bayswaters daugter).

    The words fit the melody and would be funny !!!

    I´m feeling inspired to write some verses for it……. watch this space !!!

  • Steve Cross

    Oh my god, Another example of how ridiculous my club have become! We know the words you fools; we need some inspiration to get us excited, the songs become a spontaneous reaction. Excuse me while I bang my head against a brick wall.

  • A lex

    “Mik-ey, Mik-ey Ashley – everyone knows his name.”

  • Lawrence Cant

    Ahhh but haven’t they just given the fans ammunition to show their feelings? Screw the sheet up during the game and lob it on the pitch. What a load of rubbish indeed!

  • kestrelbite

    With an S and an P and a zero contract,
    O and an R, and no TUC
    T, S, D and I we’re RECT
    Newcastle United 90% off (was 52k)

  • jonny89

    Mike Ashley, Ashley.
    Goes blind when he sees money. 
    Will always finish his tea.
    Mike Ashley, Ashley.

  • NotFatFreddy

    If this was all happening in the 70’s…it would be:

    ‘You’re going home in a ‘bleepin’ ambulance’

  • RitchieForster

    ” we love J.D. Sports, yes, we love JD Sports” …. waving JD Sports carrier bags as its chanted

  • toon tony

    He’s fat, he’s round, let’s kick him round the ground…Mike Ashley. …Mike Ashley. ….Or. …We’ve only 1 win in twenty, one win in twenty. ..We’ve only 1 win in twenty. …

  • A lex

    Harry Roberts is our friend, is our friend, is our friend,
    Harry Roberts is our friend,
    he shoots Ashley.

  • GToon

    Hey michael ashley, oooooh aaaah, i wanna knooooooooooow where the moneys gone

  • Demented_Man

    I love to go a-wanderin’ along the cliffs of Dover
    And if I saw Mike Ashley there, I’d push the bas***d over.

  • foggy

    Just get someone with a bugle to play the last post inside sjp. The toon is dead and buried!.
    We shall remember the toon!