A lot has been written and said about S****s D****t in the last 24 hours and all of it can only serve as an eye opener (if one was needed) to how low in the standings, Mike Ashley views Newcastle United compared to his jumble sale type stores.

The stores of S****s D****t are the main interest and the footballing aspect of Newcastle United is a total distraction and irrelevance, as the TV money coming into the club is a massive cherry on a pretty poor cake. Even the idea of making profit from player (or Manager?) sales ranks higher than what happens on the pitch. So by my count that’s 4th priority- in other words, a total distraction, but unfortunately for Ashley a necessary one.

(To feature like Paul, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views those of the author etc etc)

The only time the footballing aspect of the business takes higher standing in Ashley’s thinking, is when the TV money is at risk or the exposure to his brands is reduced (IE relegation).

We are currently sailing pretty close to the wind on both of those at present and this will annoy him, greatly.

In fact, the only thing that annoys him more is when someone slags him off (happens every game) or if his brands gain negative exposure, which has now happened on national TV.

I’d like every fan who still attends St James’ Park to read a quote, a sensible quote, which could provide (given a little time) the only way of getting this football club back as a Premier League entity and not a billboard for Mike Ashleys company.

Tim Dowling, The Guardian 28th April 2015:

“Last night’s Dispatches, The Secrets of Sports Direct (Channel 4), delved into the discount chain that turned the football into a disposable commodity: at £3 each you can kick one into next door’s garden all day. The first time your neighbour refuses to throw it back promptly, go buy two more and kick them over. Then four. He’ll move house in the end.”

Now the facts of that statement are a little vague. If you do indeed kick a ball into your neighbour’s back garden and he doesn’t return it, so what? But if you were to kick a few over he might get a bit annoyed and thump you one. Or, to put it in relevance to our plight, the neighbour might burst your ball in front of you to teach you a lesson. However, if you’re like me, I’d kick them over within very close proximity to their greenhouse.

Protesting when Keegan walked out made Ashley take note – he put the club up for sale, although this sale turned out to be a similar type of sale to one found in his stores.

The fans have been goaded in the past with Dennis Wise, Joe Kinnear (Twice) slagging off club legends like Keegan and Shearer, the ground naming issue, W***a, lack of investment when primed for a European campaign, shamelessly chucking away cup competitions, repeatedly selling the club’s best players etc, etc.

If it were all a deliberate retaliation to abuse from the fans, then fair enough, I can understand the terms ‘spite’ and ‘retribution’ – Akin to Ashley saying ‘Slaughter me all you like, but I’ll knack your football club in return’. It would certainly explain the goings on at Newcastle United since 2008.

If the Newcastle United saga of 2007-2015 had been replicated at any other club, there would have been uproar long before now. The national media have now woken up and took notice, with all and sundry questioning the club’s way of running things.

With the Ashley Out website, the ball was set rolling. On one hand the boycott of the Spurs game will matter little to the man himself. The 34th minute protest against Swansea likewise.

The adverse publicity outside S****s D****t stores as well as naming and shaming to the nation, is an idea that will have Mr Ashley fuming. Now, with the Tim Dowling quote in mind, keep it up and send a few more balls into Ashley’s garden.

  • Morpeth mag

    I love this posting and I agree totally with it,,,,

  • Chemical Dave

    Great article. Pretty much all my predictions about fat boy have come true. There’s no doubt in my mind that when he leaves he’ll leave some fish bones rotting under the carpets.

  • Brown Bottle

    Steptoe Direct is his one and only love. Public and professional opinion is slowly waking up to this cuckoo in our collective nest and his complete lack of giving a shyt about anyone or anything. Now I’m not bright enough to devise a strategy on how to make his life difficult via his Steptoe Direct but there are some sharp minds working on it so prime the muskets lads, it’s probably gonna be a long one.

  • RexN

    Ashley is more likely to keep them, sell them and smile as he counts his profit.

  • G Dubz

    Spot on, demos at his stores hits him where it hurts

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Paul – the US pre-season is another example. The team is going there simply because SD is expanding into North America.
    Its why we went to NZ also. At the same time he invested in MySale and wanted the Club to provide associated publicity.
    He just keeps on taking – all for SD.

  • pinit

    what I find interesting is the millions the club owes to Mr grab
    and smash, interest free but the debt never seems to get smaller. 
    A debt that would have to  be cleared by any new owner.

    who would be interested in a club now fronted and tainted with
    this pound shop mentality the image of the club has been totally
    ruined. someone with a lot of Wonga and some class is desperately
    needed and quickly.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    pinit Of course it’s not interest free. He advertises SD at no charge, so what would you call that if not interest or repayment?
    The debt doesn’t get smaller as he doesn’t want it to. The ‘Club’ has clearly stated “debt is beneficial within the Group structure’.
    Beneficial to the MASH tax bill for sure. NOT beneficial to NUFC however.

  • MilitantGeordie

    Something that never gets mentioned in Ashley’s list of horrors is one that annoys me alot. The East Stand lettering!  Everytime we signed a great player one of the first pictures i looked forward to was the one where they hold the shirt up with the East Stand ‘ Newcastle United’ in the backround. Now it’s stylised in Sports Direct font and has sports direct.com on both sides. Not that we bother signing anyone worth of that iconic picture anymore but still.. i don’t want his shitty brand ruining the damn picture!!
    I hope one day a new owner will come in and put the East Stand exactly like it was and also sign someone good enough to hold up the black and whites infront of it.

  • Brown Bottle

    pinit …the debt is a myth. He owns it. How can it have a debt to him,when its his to begin with. If I own any company, I own it lock-stock. If my company bought 100 mill in lottery tickets but only won 20 million, it doesn’t follow that the lottery owes me 80 mill.

  • Brown Bottle

    MilitantGeordie …..take your point mate…..there’s a picture in the archives that appears from time to time and it shows Llambias highlighting the East Stand. The iconic lettering disappeared soon after and we have what we have now. A billboard. Pretty apt if you think about it. Buy em cheap,advertise, sell em high.

  • DownUnderMag

    Take your mind back and see what happened when the Glazers took over ManUre. Just think for a little while what would have happened had Ashley taken over Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, or any number of other clubs that make up the media’s favourites.  Just look at the reaction to him even having the possibility of owning Rangers and the hysteria over that.  
    Yet we are deluded, ungrateful or just not even mentioned.  We are expected to just sit back and take it.  We were great for football under Keegan and no-one really minded us being there because we didn’t win anything and take the limelight away from other clubs they prefer!  The loved us since because we were always an easy cheap-shot or good for random publicity.

  • Jail for Ashley

    Well these AO lads have promised a lengthy campaign which I think will take a hell of a lot more players coming in than going out, a top class manager joining ranks and a major shift in policy to derail it. As I can’t see any of the above happening this summer I think we should all get behind what the AO lads are doing.
    Get these slimy barstewards out of our club.

  • Ollie Burtons Grandad

    Top Article, at least the Bandwagon is rolling now and life is  getting a tad uncomfortable for the Fatman..
    Ashley Out!!

  • bill black

    Got to screw up USA S.D sales tournament as while he runs the club football as we knew it has gone.

  • cjr_shearer9


  • IntravenusMP

    Brown Bottle no, if you bought a business and it was about to go bust, you then lent it say £129m  to pay off the debts that were putting pressure on the business, that business would owe you that money.

  • Brown Bottle

    IntravenusMP Brown Bottle …why would anyone in their right mind buy a business about to go bust ?  You would wait for the receivers then offer a few pennies on the pound to take it out of administration. 
    He bought the equity, chose to pay off the mortgage on HIS asset then promptly made a massive balls up of running it. HIS fault, no-one else to blame.
    If you buy the line about no due diligence, then you need to get a grip mate. Ashley does nothing on chance or a whim. It was a lie perpetuated by Llambias to justify lardo’s  mega-pout when the fans told him to go forth and multiply.

  • IntravenusMP

    Brown Bottle IntravenusMP I do buy the line that he didn’t do his due diligence properly, I don’t think he realised the club was shipping money quite so badly. I also believe he was prepared for some problems and was pretty happy that he got a brand  at a knock down price which, having put the club back in order, he felt it could be profitable. 

    I don’t think he realised it was close to administration and was lucky he had deep pockets.

  • Morpeth mag

    Yeah right,!!, a guy worth billions, with top accountants, ( as all the ashleyites on here keep reminding people wh o question his dubious accounting) didn’t know every penny in and out of this club,,
    S o what is it? His accountants only make mistakes when it suits him? The man is a liar, proved in court,,,,,

  • IntravenusMP

    Morpeth mag Top accountants take time to investigate, Hall convinced Ashley that he had to move fast.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    IntravenusMP Morpeth mag Rubbish – again. The mortgages and overdraft, any idiot could have identified. The only monies which MAY have come as a surprise were the player financing deals, or the clause in the mortgages which necessitated immediate repayment should the club change owners. Rookie error 101.
    Given that it was and still is common practise for Clubs to forward finance player deals, someone getting into football should have been far better prepared in that respect.
    More than 75 million was therefore easy to account for – it was all in the club financials.
    Ashley initially spent 111 million turning bank interest bearing loans into his personal loans. Allegedly interest free but unlimited free advertising for SD in return. Not interest free at all then.
    Everything above that was the responsibility HE has for getting the Club relegated – as well as the fees for all the knackers he has appointed over his tenure (Mort, Verete, Jimenez, Llambias, JK twice.) AND pay offs for Allardyce, Houghton, KK.
    That debt still stands at 129 mil now.

  • Morpeth mag

    One of the things I’ve done for work is buy and sell property and businesses,, there is no way that this would not have shown up,, we’re not talking about a few bank loans for cars etc,, it’s 70 million,,any competent and I mean ANY solicitors/ accountant would have seen this, it’s not easy to hide that kind of bank loan,,,,
    I don’t know how you can believe anything this man and his cronies say, they were proved to be liars in court,,, or was that a mistake,, ????
    Your either one of them, or you’ve stuck up for him for so long now, that you can’t back down, which is it,,, ?

  • IntravenusMP

    Morpeth mag As sick & tired says, the loans and o/d were fairly obvious. AFAIK, the extent of the transfer fee debt was a bit of a shock as was the payroll commitment.

  • IntravenusMP

    Sickandtiredstill you talk as if Man Utd’s pre-season in china & the US was all designed for the best preparation of the team.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    IntravenusMP Sickandtiredstill Brand promotion, only at Man U that meant the Club, not another business.
    Perhaps you recall the Fat ones words on increasing our global brand? Well after 8 years of decreased commercial revenue he certainly failed that test also. Done wonders for SD though.

  • Morpeth mag

    Yes and he would have known about it,,,,,,