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Send a few more balls into Mike Ashley’s garden

6 years ago

A lot has been written and said about S****s D****t in the last 24 hours and all of it can only serve as an eye opener (if one was needed) to how low in the standings, Mike Ashley views Newcastle United compared to his jumble sale type stores.

The stores of S****s D****t are the main interest and the footballing aspect of Newcastle United is a total distraction and irrelevance, as the TV money coming into the club is a massive cherry on a pretty poor cake. Even the idea of making profit from player (or Manager?) sales ranks higher than what happens on the pitch. So by my count that’s 4th priority- in other words, a total distraction, but unfortunately for Ashley a necessary one.

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The only time the footballing aspect of the business takes higher standing in Ashley’s thinking, is when the TV money is at risk or the exposure to his brands is reduced (IE relegation).

We are currently sailing pretty close to the wind on both of those at present and this will annoy him, greatly.

In fact, the only thing that annoys him more is when someone slags him off (happens every game) or if his brands gain negative exposure, which has now happened on national TV.

I’d like every fan who still attends St James’ Park to read a quote, a sensible quote, which could provide (given a little time) the only way of getting this football club back as a Premier League entity and not a billboard for Mike Ashleys company.

Tim Dowling, The Guardian 28th April 2015:

“Last night’s Dispatches, The Secrets of Sports Direct (Channel 4), delved into the discount chain that turned the football into a disposable commodity: at £3 each you can kick one into next door’s garden all day. The first time your neighbour refuses to throw it back promptly, go buy two more and kick them over. Then four. He’ll move house in the end.”

Now the facts of that statement are a little vague. If you do indeed kick a ball into your neighbour’s back garden and he doesn’t return it, so what? But if you were to kick a few over he might get a bit annoyed and thump you one. Or, to put it in relevance to our plight, the neighbour might burst your ball in front of you to teach you a lesson. However, if you’re like me, I’d kick them over within very close proximity to their greenhouse.

Protesting when Keegan walked out made Ashley take note – he put the club up for sale, although this sale turned out to be a similar type of sale to one found in his stores.

The fans have been goaded in the past with Dennis Wise, Joe Kinnear (Twice) slagging off club legends like Keegan and Shearer, the ground naming issue, W***a, lack of investment when primed for a European campaign, shamelessly chucking away cup competitions, repeatedly selling the club’s best players etc, etc.

If it were all a deliberate retaliation to abuse from the fans, then fair enough, I can understand the terms ‘spite’ and ‘retribution’ – Akin to Ashley saying ‘Slaughter me all you like, but I’ll knack your football club in return’. It would certainly explain the goings on at Newcastle United since 2008.

If the Newcastle United saga of 2007-2015 had been replicated at any other club, there would have been uproar long before now. The national media have now woken up and took notice, with all and sundry questioning the club’s way of running things.

With the Ashley Out website, the ball was set rolling. On one hand the boycott of the Spurs game will matter little to the man himself. The 34th minute protest against Swansea likewise.

The adverse publicity outside S****s D****t stores as well as naming and shaming to the nation, is an idea that will have Mr Ashley fuming. Now, with the Tim Dowling quote in mind, keep it up and send a few more balls into Ashley’s garden.


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