Same as it ever was.

I recently caught Mick Quinn talking about a game he played in, way back in 1991. You may be able to guess which one. It immediately had me heading to ‘youtube’ for some nostalgia.

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If it was possible to sum up Newcastle United in just one game, then our Zenith Data Systems cup match against Tranmere would be it.

Tranmere 6 Newcastle 6. The match was entertaining, dramatic and shambolic all at the same time. And in the great scheme of things it was also a pretty pointless game of football.

It was the familiar tale of a team who are able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

At the time of this match I was working in Northern Ireland and can remember watching the game, sitting with some mates in a very smoky and extremely dubious bar.

Back then, matches live on the telly were still a rare event, with Sky very much the junior player in the market. However, such was my desire for NUFC to win any trophy of any sorts; this tin pot trophy really mattered to me. Hence I was prepared to sit in a bar where I really should not have been.

The fact that we managed to score six and still lose(on penalties) was just typical of the club then and  typical of us now. Nothing ever changes.  The dictionary definition of this club should simply be ‘permanent crisis’.

Anyone who thinks that the defence of Newcastle in 2015 is crap, please go and watch  Mr Bradshaw and  Mr Scott try and fail miserably to stop every attack ending up as a goal.

As we trudged back to our accommodation, my foul mood had my two mates totally perplexed, but as they were supporters of Liverpool and Celtic, who at the time seemed to win a trophy every other week, why would they have any idea of the pain and suffering that went with being a Newcastle fan.

Pain is what we do.  It’s always been torture.

I used to think that modern Premier League football is crap and it’s not like the good old days, but who am I trying to kid?

It’s just like the old days. Apart from the top three or four teams in any season, the rest of the league is made up with some bog average teams, playing bog average football. The real reason old time football was ten times better than the dross we are watching now is very simple. In 1991, I was 24 years younger.

When you are young, life is literally black and white. Your opinion is always right and anyone who disagrees with you is a half-witted oaf.

If you were Prime Minister, you could change the world with half a dozen policies. I mean what can be so difficult about running the NHS or balancing the deficit. The 30 Year old me had the answer to everything.

Trouble is, while a couple of mates have gone on to become very rich men, I will be working until I am 70. I guess I don’t have the right answers to everything after all!

That frame of mind is also how you see your football club.  What can be so difficult about making Newcastle United a top 3 team on a regular basis.  Let’s get Peter Griffin (Family Guy) out , replace him with a Geordie consortium, turn the club into the Barcelona of the north and there you have it, glorious times.

Oh, we have tried that already have we?  Then why didn’t it work? I am afraid it’s because life just isn’t that simple.  If it was, we would not have lost Kevin shortly after stuffing spurs 7-1 and we would have gone on to dominate English football for a decade. Instead we went on to get Dalglish, Gullit, Fatty, JFK. ..

God, what have we done to deserve this?

Anyway, let’s move on to last week. I really hate to say this but the defeat against Sunld hardly registered with me, probably because it seemed so inevitable. When yet another defeat to the mackems doesn’t make you suicidal, it’s an extremely worrying state of affairs.

Once you stop caring, the pain goes away. Another derby defeat doesn’t matter because you have more important things to worry about, such as where to find the £700 for the 20 year old daughter’s bloody car insurance .

How is it being gubbed by Tranmere in a competition no one remembers 25 years ago can still annoy me, yet I can hardly remember how many Everton or Man City stuffed us by last month.

That’s not good.

I really want to care again.



  • Glenn Gregory

    Too true but that’s how I’m feeling now. I don’t want to be like that but that’s how Ashley’s got me!

  • MilitantGeordie

    Guess what Jinky Jim. You DO care still otherwise you would be watching Emmerdale not taking the time to write heart felt articles like this. I feel your pain being a 20 plus years Toon fanatic. We try and pretend we no longer care but somewhere deep down we really really DO care and that’s why we moan and bitch about Ashley. The day people like you and me genuinely stop caring is the day the club dies.

  • PeterRobson

    Nearly 50 years of following the dream (nightmare) that is our club, and still waiting !!!

    Hope is always the last thing to fade away !!!

  • NufcToon

    £700 for a 20 year olds insurance. Which company? Hats a bargin

  • RaySte

    At the end of the day it’s at the point now where I can’t justify giving a billionaire £50 a week to watch a group of millionaires play football (badly). It’s not the 70’s anymore, NUFC doesn’t represent you and it doesn’t represent the city. It’s not a cheap day out, it’s not a fun day out. NUFC represents big business and advertising. The heart and soul are long gone from the club.

  • GToon

    NufcToon £700 a month probably.

  • LeazesEnder

    Thats me in the checkered jacket its 1974….christ.

  • NottsToon

    MilitantGeordie I think that there is a distinction between caring about what was, and what could be again, and caring about this current itineration of Newcastle United.

    Personally I could not give a sh1t about this team, manager, coaches or owner, but I hold love for what was and hope for what could be again.

  • snodgrass2

    What I can’t understand is why other CLUBS aren’t complaining about Ashley and his management. It now seems that we only play for half a season until we (hopefully) accumulate enough points to stay in the EPL. It happened last season and again this. So it is not a fluke and it can be claimed to be common practice as it has happened more than once.
    This season we met Chelsea early on when we needed the points and we beat them. Had they met us in the second half of the season they would in effect be given the points as we have stopped playing. (No points since mid February) At the other end of the table Leicester and QPR are deliberately been given an advantage over other relegation possibles because they meet us shortly. We won’t be fighting for their points as our target is achieved. (All won by mid February) Badly expressed prhaps but I think you hopefully will get my drift. 
    On a slightly different tack does it seem strange that we lose to our nearest neighbours against the odds five times and the points they unexpectedly achive keep them in the league. Using Ashleys business method this is excellent business as it saves dramatically on his expenses. Too far fetched you say?  I quote – “You don’t understand how f*^”+*g horrible we can be”.

  • GToon

    LeazesEnder what made ya heed turn green? surely not envy at looking at what we “could have won”

  • GToon

    snodgrass2 Is Ashley running a line of their 5 in a row t-shirts? Wouldn’t put it past him.

  • LeazesEnder

    GToon LeazesEnder This is my Avatar…. its nowt like me!

  • GToon

    LeazesEnder GToon Thats my real kids in mine! Although i think they are smiling and happy with their new shirts so its not a true reflection of current reality i suppose.

  • LeazesEnder

    GToon LeazesEnder You could have bought them Man United tops or Liverpool but you chose Newcastle/…..

    …. social services will be after you for cruelty!

  • GToon

    LeazesEnder GToon You know this debt thing. Is there an amount of money or some debt that is stopping us from investing in then squad, you know like you wouldn’t buy a new car if you owed a lot on your credit card or something. I just don’t get it at all. Or is it simply like the mortgage that we take for granted that is being touted as debt? Explain! Explain! As the daleks would say!

  • GToon

    LeazesEnder GToon Well they are both born in the Midlands but i tell them that cos i am from the North East a part of them is too. They are fiercely proud of their club but even they are getting fed up. They would never be given the choice of supporting any other team though.

  • LeazesEnder

    GToon LeazesEnder As far as I’m aware the club managed its finances well, to the extent that the previous regime were taking out over £15 million per season…. Ashley is doing the same, the ‘debt’ is a complete fabrication, because he cant sell the club without the stadium!

  • GToon

    LeazesEnder GToon He could make a stack more if he speculated a bit. Still we all know that. Wonder what the summer will bring. I’m almost hoping for the departure of players rather than the arrival of new ones. Hopefully not the ones on the back of my kids shirts!

  • LeazesEnder

    GToon LeazesEnder You know after the Fairs cup win …we thought it was the beginning of a revival….  football has changed.

  • LeazesEnder

    GToon LeazesEnder I said to Luke Edwards ‘why would a Billionaire buy a club if it wasn’t to have a bit of fun’…. he replied that in his opinion he was ‘going to run it on the cheap’  that was eight years ago….

    …he was right and I was wrong!

  • newcastle7

    My daughters insurance was one thousand one hundred which did not worry me at all as she pays all her bills even she is only eighteen.What is worrying is finding fifty three pounds and the transport money to get to Anfield last night and make her pay her own bills and save your money for more important matters.

  • LeazesEnder

    NufcToon She lied about her age?

  • Brian Standen

    Just about the best article on the mag since it went digital

  • MilitantGeordie

    NottsToon MilitantGeordie Agreed mate i feel the same.

  • snodgrass2 Plus he doesn’t alienate potential customers for his tat , remember the the Sugar puffs adverts ?

  • Peter Lamb

    Not completely

  • ilullissat

    I once rang Radio Newcastle years ago and said that just like the well known brands he has bought like Dunlop,Lonsdale.Slazenger,Karrimor etc and devalued so he was doing with our football club,and I was shot down in flames because their was none on to defend the club,I WAS RIGHT!!!