I want to begin with a statement which may be regarded as controversial by much of the Newcastle United fan base, but I would completely embrace relegation.

To the point where, at this point, I find it preferable to Premier League survival. Now before you all reach for your keyboards to register your displeasure about such a ridiculous statement, allow me to expand.

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Beginning with the obvious, if we were to survive and begin next season in the Premier League, then what are the realistic expectations for what would likely happen?

Well the club would receive another obscene amount of TV money from Sky, most of which would vanish into an accounting black hole of ‘increased costs’, the club would cease to compete in matches when/ if safety was achieved, we would field a team mixed with infants, pensioners and the tea lady in any Cup competition and the excuses from Coach Lettuce Carver would flow as freely as goals leaked through our static defence. The team down the road would thump us twice much to everyone’s continued annoyance, more defeat records would be broken, more players sold and released to be replaced by YTS trainees earning benefit plus £10, oh yes, and the owner would become even richer from our misery.

Speaking of misery and the owner, I am perfectly sure that another season like this would swing the mood of the stadium from false hope, to fury and finally to apathy….again.

More demonstrations, more boycotts, more media attention, more pressure on the fan base and an owner who retreats to his giant Hobbit hole in Berkshire at the first sign that the natives are revolting, well some of them are.

I don’t want to see this, I don’t know if I could take another season like we’ve endure, I’m not sure what I’d do but it wouldn’t be pleasant and it could possibly result in my severing of all ties with Newcastle United….maybe, so what is the alternative? Let’s hear it for relegation!

So let’s have a think about what relegation would bring. Well firstly the income of the club from the Premier League would drastically reduce with the parachute payment, but as we don’t invest that money anyway and the club is sole owned, the only person who would feel the pinch is Uncle Mike, bonus!

There is a clamour from sections of our support for youth to be given a try, with the likes of Armstrong, Kemen and Satka knocking on the first team door, well in the Championship the club would look to jettison its top earners (who probably wouldn’t want to be here anyway) so the chance of the young ‘uns getting a game would greatly increase, giving us all a chance to see how the board’s investment in youth policy has worked out.

On to the football, there is a fair chance (but only a chance) that we would actually get to see the team win some games of football in the Championship. Wouldn’t that be incredible?

Imagine watching Newcastle United win football matches, amazing. I don’t think that the owner would feel the charitable need to lend the club (himself) more of his vast fortune to finance an immediate push back to the Prem, I could be wrong, but even so surely we could actually win some games, more than we do in the top flight at least.

We would also get the chance to see some interesting football backwaters like Doncaster, visit some other clubs who used to be famous like Leeds, Nottingham Forest, Birmingham and the Sheffield clubs ,their own league success and failure dependent – wouldn’t it be nice to see some old friends?

In short, we can stay in the Premier League quietly taking our seats and watching the team get thumped more often than not, all whilst the owner collects and stockpiles money ready for his inevitable dash into the sunset, or we can hurt his wallet, damage his corporate advertising vehicle with decreased media coverage and actually concentrate on watching a football team for once, safe in the knowledge that the owner is not collecting his pound of flesh from Sky.

As a side note, if the owner did show some ambition to get the club promoted again, wouldn’t it be nice to see Newcastle United play with some ambition again? To actually compete for something, and have a goal beyond simply existing, even if it is only promotion?

How long has it been since you saw a team in black and white play with passion and endeavour?

Well, relegation could give you that, and even John Carver might find his level in the lower league…..doubtful though.



  • PeterRobson

    Chances are though, we´d still have to listen to the same piss poor excuses from the coach !!!

  • Brown Bottle

    I reckon the kids couldn’t do any worse than the likes of Gouf / Ameobi/ Obertan et al but, remember Beardsley’s comments recently when he bluntly stated no-one, in his opinion, is within a barge pole’s length of making the step up. Still, I’d rather go down fighting with the kids than witnessing any more spineless attitudes and performances from Carvedews Cronies.

  • MackEdwards

    There are many who see relegation as the assured way of ridding ourselves of Ashley. Is’nt it such a pity that a club as big as NUFC is reduced to this way of thinking because of the morally bankrupt leech of an owner that is Mike Ashley

  • Russell10

    I genuinely believe we will get relegated. Think we need it now for a couple of reasons. Firstly to shove it up Ashley. He is killing my obsession with all things black and white and I didn’t think that was possible. Having had a season ticket for 44 years, this year I said, enough. I will not go back under Ashley. The second reason to welcome relegation is that we will see youngsters like Armstrong come through. Trust me, you will never see him under this lot in this division. If he can’t play now, he has naff all chance next season when we have signed more forwards. Thirdly, we will get to see some victories. Carver is a decent coach but God, he’s no leader. Farewell Ashley and hello Chamionship

  • amacdee

    OK if we go down can we guarantee that Fatman would ferk off ?? I’d take it now just as Notts does but I have a sneaking suspicion Fattie will hang on for a season. 
    He’d shove more “debt” into the “debt” pile while forgetting that what brought NUFC up last time was the spirit of the “union leaders”, Nolan, Barton, Harper and Carroll as well as Hughton’s stoicism.

    Yet working with a “tenth place” squad and the aspirations that come with it, I’d be surprised if we got back to the EPL within ten years.

  • snodgrass2

    Russell10 Armstrong won’t make it. Shame but he shows the same lack of qualities all his predecessors have.  And I beg to differ with your comment  “Carver is a decent coach” It hasn’t been apparent over the last 3 years. By the way did you know Ameobi can take corners? Carver our coach didn’t. But then there’s a lot of things he’s misjudged Ameobi about. Principally he thinks he can play football.

  • ilullissat

    MackEdwards Look at it as a kind of cancer and you need chemo to purge it Relegation would be the chemo but it might take more than one session to rid the body of the disease

  • Russell10

    Agree with your reply. I meant Carver is a decent coach as part or a team. Right now he is all over the place and we can’t string 3 passes together. If Armstrong was at another club, he’d have a chance IMO.

  • snodgrass2

    Russell10 Can’t argue with that.

  • pinit

    Yes I can actually see your point, sitting here a changed man as far as NUFC is concerned.
    I am not enjoying watching the team anymore, I am actually wanting the team to do so badly 
    it may force change and that is just not right. just one point can anyone remember the last
    time we scored from a set piece ?

  • NottsToon

    Relegation is the way forwards…..and backwards ironically.

  • Corkyjohn

    If relegated we would still have Charver…after failing to get us promoted first time I’d hope Ashley would then sell up….hopefully

  • Steve1221

    “How long has it been since you saw a team in black and white play with passion and endeavour?”
    About 6 months ago, it only seems to be in the second half of the season we lack it.

  • Bren.notts.toonarmy

    Selling krul who will replace him Darlow from forest no PL experianced yet good keeper but nt up to standerd yet need defenders n a good attacker or 2 midfielder too I love Newcastle United but nt this season spend Ashley plz n wolly wth the brolly coming inn might be good dnt want jc next season Brentford manger y nt

  • Tony79

    Don’t wait for external events to do good for us.  We can;t be passive and hope we sink, that is madness, and ‘hoping’ for something is about as useless as making wishes when you blow out birthday candles.

    Stop this fantasising nonsense and take action.  Our future is n our hands.  Lets get him out ourselves.

  • The Mag

    PhilHill2 The views here are those of Notts Toon, not the editor. We carry viewpoints of all fans, not just those we agree with.

  • NottsToon

    Phil, the article was clearly written with my tongue firmly in my cheek, if you can’t spot then sorry but you’re a nugget.
    From your response I see you have a crystal ball. Does it take batteries?

  • Alex Wilkinson

    It’s not all bad news lol