If anybody wondered just how bad things were at NUFC, have a look at the image below.

This is the net effect of not properly investing in the squad, gambling on budget transfers, refusing to appoint a credible manager and an owner whose only aim is to get as much personal benefit out of the club as possible.

As you can see, every single team has won at least one match, apart from Hull who at least have draws against their name.

If Mike Ashley continues with his present running of the club, this Premier League recent form table is a knocking bet to be replicated next year over the whole season.

At this moment in time, Newcastle are the worst team in the division by some distance.

Leicester and QPR may be in the relegation zone but I would be amazed if Newcastle don’t get beat by both when they play them in the coming weeks.

Major change is needed but with strong rumours/hints once again that John Carver will get the job long-term no matter the results, is there any hope?

City Hall Gifts - shop.themag.co.uk



  • Malcolm Robinson

    sorry i know we are poor atm but cant see both qpr and leicester beating us

  • LeazesEnder

    I’ve done a Pie chart of the compiled data….

    Loss ratio

  • Demented_Man

    It’ll be interesting if Newcastle need to get something out of the final game against West Ham.  Imagine the smug look on Fat Sam’s face if he sends us down!

  • Paul A

    Carver will be appointed full time coach after the West Ham game. It’s obvious.
    I reckon when ashley said he wouldn’t sell until the end of 2016 he was hoping by that stage to have taken X amount out of the club and as a final up yours see the club relegated. He’ll have made his money by then and will leave us broke.
    I genuinely fear for our future.

  • Lofty9

    LeazesEnder That made me laugh! Mind you, Mr Ashley likes ANY sort of pie.

  • SJPunited

    leepenator7 Ashley is killing our club

  • LeazesEnder1

    SJPunited leepenator7 Yes we know….

  • Peter Nealon

    Bring on relegation and another if that’s what it takes to get rid of the fat prick!

  • Bren.notts.toonarmy

    All I see is L for loooossssseeeerrrss tht from the top to the players spend the cash Ashley make us toon army fans proud to b coming to watch our team agen u like to c boycotting empty seats n in the press its ur club Ashley now do the right thing come out n speak wth us passionate fans we want wins n good players goal scores defenders tht know wot thy r doing n a manager tht nt just a yes man a nodding dog

  • Sickandtiredstill

    1957 Double trouble now. I think he stopped listening to anyone after the Wise and Jimenez fiasco then even Llambias walked when JK was appointed fora second time. 
    He’s doing it all himself now, and he clearly hasn’t a clue. Like all egomaniacs he’ll never admit to failure.

  • killyted

    I M P O I donot think cashley will sell up,with this new tv deal on the horizon cashley will stay and keep milking the club dry

  • killyted When the damage to his company profile and profits begin to outweigh the T V money he’ll be gone , or you can be good little mice and put up with the shite .

  • A lex

    killyted We force him to quit, simply by sustained abuse of him, his methods, his staff and his brands. 
    When the City and markets gets jitters about the negativity surrounding his brand, when simply nobody else wishes to play for us  manage us, then Ashley has real problems.
    In the wings, there’ll be someone, somewhere who is watching the value of the club erode. And, with all this coming together, Ashley is likely to listen to anyone who is interested.

  • A lex

    Bren.notts.toonarmy But, he won’t. After 8 years, do you really think he’s going to suddenly make himself visible, speak and spend money??

    Things will never change unless we push for it.

  • A lex

    1957 I really believe they continued with Carver because the other 79 showed sod all serious interest in a job where they wouldn’t enhance their CV and would have to kowtow to Carr, Charnley and Ashley.

  • Demented_Man

    killyted I remember a few years ago  there was a chain of shops called Ratners, which sold cheap jewellery.  Like SD now, it was thriving, until the MD remarked in public that his shops sold ‘crap’.  From that moment on the brand had such negative connotations that people started to avoid it and eventually it went bust.
    I’m not saying the same thing will happen to SD, but it is surely possible.

  • No Brainer

    You could use the same methods for mid october to december and it would show nufc in the champions league places. This is just pathetic other teams fans are laughing at us knowing that the squad we have is better than theirs, a team hampered by injuries and protesting fans.

  • No Brainer

    killyted What is it that he has taken from the club.

  • No Brainer

    A lex killyted Or you force him to withdraw from the city just letting the club slowly ebb away with him letting it slowly slip from premier league to fourth division, with still televised games showing sports direct with the team being paid from the cash reserves which are with the current players sold to finance the wages of others. 

    Instead of being screaming charvers support the team.

  • No Brainer

    Paul A If people carry on creating the poison then your probably right but its not the fans that go its these idiot web jockeys

  • No Brainer

    1957 If a mclaren, Dyche whoever was saying the would not leave because they have a job to do then it was right to do, it would also be an admirable quality for a new coach to have also.

    I hear what Pardew says about things not getting to him at NUFC but the truth is within just a few days the man who looked a tired sad depressed figure was looking refreshed within just a week.

    The abuse was taking its toll.

    Can I ask you honestly if we had available our best players this season where do you think we would be in the league, personally I think that we are by squad 6th or 7th.

    What is it that people do not understand that whilst the Fair play rules are good for the game overall they are a barrier to clubs moving up the ladder. For the same reason as it took Arsenal so much time to get the point of being able to buy Ozil, Welbeck and Sanchez for big money, the stark reality is that NUFC will not be in that position ever unless money is put aside each season for every 8 million spent on someone new from abroad that the fans lambaste at the earliest opportunity, the charlie austin or out of favour welbeck the sort of players you can get for £12m – £15m but lets be honest not even these would be good enough for those protesters. 

    There is no sugar daddies in football any more.

  • RayBrown2

    No Brainer killyted Our hope

  • No Brainer

    RayBrown2 No Brainer killyted Rubbish, 
    1. its football man get o’er yasel
    2, the squad we have is very good we have had very bad runs, 
    3, depite 2 the many fans give no support to the team just whinge.

  • No Brainer

    Demented_Man killyted Difference was ratners sold poor value jewellery at high prices however Ashley charges fair prices for what you get a £1 t shirt probably gives more value than a £30 one the quality is known before the CEO tells you so.

    Also Gerald Ratner is still doing pretty canny.

  • Consett Mag

    I don’t agree that our squad is that good. I think Sissoko got himself sent off deliberately and is enjoying a ban.
    Were hampered by a paper thin squad and loads of injuries and suspensions. You can say Carver is inexperienced and useless, but that appointment was driven by a zero ambition culture. Charnley is solely responsible for all the manager’s impact.
    IMO blaming the fans for any of our woes is extremely rude and just plain wrong.

  • Demented_Man

    No Brainer Demented_Man killyted I was referring to the harmful effects on a brand through its negative associations.  NUFC is indissolubly associated with Ashley and the dubious Sports Direct.  Hence why many would-be sponsors will not touch NUFC with a barge pole.  Hence one of the major reasons why commercial revenue has plummeted under the Ashley regime.
    Ashley may charge ‘fair’ prices, but it’s hardly fair to the sweated labour he exploits, is it?

  • foggy

    Just have a look at the stats for all four divisions and you’ll see that the toon are propping up the lot on current form.
    Carver for manager my ar#e

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer RayBrown2 killyted Hilarious that like. I know how you love to quote Deloitte etc – what did they have to say about our support?
    The Club wins nowt and competes for nowt despite 52000 turning up. 
    Bad runs? Pardew took 42 points out of a possible 117, Dec 29th ’13 to Dec 29th ’14. Sure, just a bad run – lasting the equivalent of an entire season.
    Stupid us for complaining.
    If you want to keep asking what Ashley has taken out of this Club then start there – along with 8 years worth of depressed revenues from everything except tv income. – the only revenue he isn’t responsible for!

  • Geoff Willis

    I can

  • Malcolm Robinson

    Tenna ?

  • Geoff Willis

    Thought you’d bite

  • No Brainer

    Consett Mag I agree that Sissoko has his head elsewhere.

    The squad is thinner than most but the quality of the first team is good and I honestly see little reason to believe that shouldn’t improve further.
    Other than contravening FFP and the club taking on debt how else could that improvement be achieved quicker.

  • No Brainer

    Demented_Man No Brainer killyted In terms of the sweated labur he employs, the Savar, Rana Plaza clothing factory collapse, spd was the company who had reported the building to the authorities after its team had visited with a view to using it to produce goods. 

    As for the Zero hours, this great misnomer of a target for SPD, the truth is that the young part time staff on these contracts are given opportunity to earn a lot more than NMW they would in other places that provide employment to young people and Students. With the incentives given from up selling and for commendations given by the public, these people are paid a lot more than their contemporaries elsewhere. Its all well slagging the the poor chavs as we look on disdainfully from our M & S.

  • Demented_Man

    No Brainer Demented_Man killyted For such a philanthropic company, SD seem to be a little chary about responding to calls from parliamentary committees.  Maybe they don’t want to be seen as do-gooders.
    And maybe they give their USC warehouse staff 15 minutes’ notice that they’ve lost their jobs out of fear they would be showered with gratitude.
    http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/03/25/uk-sports-direct-zero-hours-idUKKBN0ML2EV20150325
    Aye, they get ‘commendations’ from the public all right.  They have an appalling reputation.  If I have my way, it will get worse.

  • No Brainer killyted Respect, dignity ,hope , dreams and turned the once hallowed Cathedral on top of the hill into an alien spaceship !

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer Demented_Man killyted Do you never stop tub thumping for Ashley? 
    Retail ‘sales assistants’ median pay is only 5.37 an hour at SD!

    Your spin on behalf of this regime is sickening.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer Demented_Man killyted Oh and on Bangladesh –

     “……. Asda (Walmart), Sports Direct, Peacocks and Gap, among others, have not yet signed the Safety Accord, so these retailers need increased pressure. Child labour is also a major issue.”

  • Graham Robinson

    Just hope he hurrys up and buys rangers and sells us to the quataries

  • Brown Bottle

    LeazesEnder ….probably what Charnley’s balloon knot looks like after a board meeting.

  • pissed off mag

    No Brainer A lex killyted  no baller your a prick

  • pissed off mag

    Sickandtiredstill No Brainer Demented_Man killyted  he talks shite, ashleys little arse licker

  • pissed off mag

    No Brainer RayBrown2 killyted  arse hole

  • Jail for Ashley

    It’s fcukin soul !

  • Andgeo

    No brainier, you might not have a brain but that’s no excuse for being a complete twit!

  • Andgeo

    Financial fair play?? What planet are you on no brainer???

  • No Brainer

    You obvioudly don’t know the implications of ffp

  • No Brainer

    Plenty balls fella you whingers are just a childish mob if thick tw*ts who shouldn’t be sllowed any where near the running if a bath never mind business/football club

  • No Brainer

    Maybe just maybe he they don’t feel there is any warranty in bowing down to those only ob committees to further their opportunities to stick their nose in the trough even further.
    given the norteasts financual contribution to and from the centralised govt its some wgat ironic we call on these theiving tw*ts to call to account a bloke has made the club a stabke environment gor football business.

  • No Brainer

    Of course it is the hourly rate us thats the proof of who it is employing by age gtoup employment pay rates, there are lots of different pay rates for different age gtoups

  • pissed off mag

    Sickandtiredstill No Brainer Demented_Man killyted  no ballser works for ashley, hes his bitch hahahaha

  • pissed off mag

    No Brainer RayBrown2 killyted  no ballser ashleys little bitch

  • No Brainer

    Spd direct do their own snd do not get involved in risky environments the safety accord is a more of a club insurance to limit loss and responsibility and those companies like walmart primark are seriously failing those employed in the making of their wares and I’m sure you can find some failings at dpd slso but it should be applauded by its better than its comtempoaries

  • No Brainer

    Ffs sicko the team has been decimated this season and whether you like it or not the anger, lack of support coupled with the targetting of players we kniw are second/third choice in the squad has to affect the confidence of the team. If you don’t like the team just fu*k off you glory hinters were not here pre keegan so you won’t be missed

  • Demented_Man

    No Brainer Is there any one out there who actually understands this, or do I need to get acquainted with Old Norse first/

  • No Brainer

    I agree with you apart from the complete vlear out of coaching staff let the new manager decide but they can’t be all thst bad. I always feel this manager completr control thing is suicide just delayed.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer Yeah, you’re right. SD is a model employer with excellent employee relations and doesn’t indulge in third world labour exploitation. Because you say so. Yoi are such an expert after all – yet never provide a shred of fact too support your self righteous ramblings.
    And none of us live in the city/region nor followed the team before KK -only you and Super Simon, eh?
    You should lay off that Chablis you stuck up git.

  • Conman

    A lot of people going on about his shops and how ethical they are and how they buck the trend and make huge profits whilst other similar stores struggle.
    Dispatches on Monday at 8pm on channel 4 will show us what we all probably believe anyway. Let’s see what their undercover investigators show on Monday. It could yet be another nail in the fcb coffin up here. Should be a good watch.

  • Mister Tee

    @No Brainer
    How about investing some of that nice £34million we have stashed away in our account to try and prise a new manager away from their job or do you think we will be looking for a manager who is about to be sacked, one who is already unemployed or even better, someone already employed by the club and with the added bonus of 5 years left on their contract?
    I’m pretty sure that would improve things and not put us in any danger of contravening FFP?
    How about an overhaul of the coaching system in place or has everyone still got 5 years to go on their contracts and, like Carver said, won’t be going anywhere unless something “remarkable” happens?
    That something “remarkable” being the owner spending some of the clubs money to actually make the club better?
    I’m pretty sure that would improve things and not put us in danger of contravening FFP?
    In fact, I’m pretty sure there must be a few things we could do to improve things that won’t put us in danger of contravening FFP as just about every other team in the Premier League seems to be coping ok apart from us. Even the most basic of things, like buying players or appointing new managers, seems to be a step too far for us.
    Never mind, we will have the last laugh when those FFP rules come in to effect won’t we?

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer Paul A Aye, all those fans booing and walking out against Spurs you mean? 
    Anyway, aren’t you giving up your ST because Ashley wouldn’t buy a central defender? Hypocrite.
    .

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Mister Tee And don’t forget the commercial revenue which he has failed to grow in 8 years. All that additional income which could be used under FFP.

  • ilullissat

    Conman BBC Inside Out did some research a few years ago about this company.Amongst the things was that the garments were actually discounted in the factory before they had even reached the store.On a secondary note I think all of Ashleys lackies should be targeted and especially Bob Moncur.His latest Chronicle article mentions that the fans should get behind the team.Change the record mate.Your cheques in the post from Fatty

  • No Brainer

    Think I agree with a lot of what you say I think it has slways bern the owners intrntion to build a kitty up and continue to buy the likes of de jong cabella and colback whilst also getting future stars in to the club now but it csn’t be done over night or without plan.

  • pissed off mag

    No Brainer  are you the voice of ashleys arse ?

  • v0ices

    No BrainerBrainer just what position does Ashley employ you in? Its hilarious watching the rubbish you talk I simply don’t understand why others give you replies you are either a lunatic on a wind up or Ashley’s employee.

  • GeordieBinDipper

    Conman What on earth does SD have to do with it? NUFC has become a club full of whining little babies. SD is not the only company run by “FCB” type bell ends, yet our fans constantly whinge about nowt else.

  • ToonArmy1967

    I think it’s about time Mr Shearer got off his arse and did something to help us.

    I love him like any other Toon fan but he needs to stand up for us as he is the one person who is so well respected that could help put a consortium together to help us rid ourselves of this cancer.

    Come on Alan, your career at Newcastle isn’t over. Lets get you back as the chairman!