“The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything.”  – Oscar Wilde

Yesterday I was 13 years old, standing at the front of the Gallowgate, resplendent in my best  Chester le street market gear.

This consisted of a blue jumper with three stars on the chest, a penny collared shirt, brown sta press and a pair of tasselled loafers . Just how cool could a five feet nowt, spotty faced adolescent be? (Not cool enough to get Elaine to meet me behind the Garden Farm chip shop, but that’s another matter).

And for my 40 pence entry free, I got to watch my football team winning everything in sight. Well that’s if you regard the Anglo Italian and the Texaco Cup as ‘everything’. Hard to believe that forty years on, that’s as good as its got.

(To feature like Jinky, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views are the author’s own etc etc)

The question that comes up in my mind over and over again is just what on earth has stopped Newcastle achieving success in these past four decades?”

Is it all simply down to rank bad ownership? Well it’s as good a place to start as any. The club’s finances have been in a worse state than my daughter’s  phone bill for the majority of the past 40 years, which has meant we have lurched from one crisis to another. But now that the finances are supposedly sorted out, we have a billionaire owner that doesn’t want to spend any cash.  You could’t make it up.

Is it because of the succession of bad managers?  When you look at the likes of McGarry, Charlton, Dalglish and Fat Sam, we sure knew how to pick them.

Looking back I can make excuses for the utter tripe that McGarry served us up, because he had a transfer budget of 10 shillings and some Panini football  stickers to work with, but just what excuses did King Kenny have for Barnes, Rush and Andreas Andersson.

For me though, Jack Charlton’s masterstroke of playing Reilly and Cunningham up front instead of Waddle and Beardsley, is a low that hopefully I will never see surpassed

Was it down to the many many big name players we have signed who turned out to be so unbelievably crap?  Again this is undoubtedly true, but hasn’t every club had its share of Marcellinos and Vianas?  It’s just a fact of life that unfortunately some players will settle and prove their worth, while some will not.

Which brings me onto whether our geographical location is also a factor? It’s fair to say we are a fair few miles from the bright lights of London, which seems to have had an adverse effect on a number of money grabbing Frenchmen in particular.  Sign on the dotted line, tell the press that you have always wanted to come to Newcastle and then complain that the City is cold, wet and 300 miles from the Capital.

And so I get to the bloody great elephant in the room.

Is it the fans?  In the not so distant past, we have heard managers use the fans as a reason for their failure and we have certainly heard many a pundit spout off about our ‘unrealistic expectations’.

star jumpers

It depends on which side of the argument you are on I guess. Support the club through the bad times, or stay away to try and force change.

Personally, I don’t think things are that simple. Turning up in our thousands won’t bring the club success and staying away won’t get rid of Ashley either.

Maybe I am looking too deep.  Maybe we are simply a cursed football club. Damned by all those bad lads who were swung by their neck until they were dead on the Gallowgate hill all those years ago.  it just might be our fate to be the nearly men of English Football. ‘What if, what if, what if?’

What if Macdonald plays the 74 cup final with his feet instead of his mouth?

What if Peter, the red nosed Dane, keeps goal like a normal human being, rather than as some marvel superhero to defy us singlehandedly in March 1996

What if Bellamy doesn’t get sent off within first five minutes against Inter.

What if we had held on to our 2 goal advantage with just 30 minutes left of our EUFA Cup quarter final?

I have come to the conclusion that if you allow yourself to think about just why the likes of Swansea, Birmingham and Middlesboro can win a cup and we can’t, it will drive you to drink and an early grave.

We are, what we are. A truly unique English Football club, who have been through worse times than these during the past 40 odd barren years.

It may be hard to believe but  Ashley will move on, the self-proclaimed greatest league in the world’s  gravy train will come to an end and just like Doctor Who, Newcastle United will regenerate and take its place in the new world order.

I just hope I am still alive to see it. I am running out of seasons.

  • LeazesEnder

    Are you being me?

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Hahahaha, My God, we used to wear those!

  • Brian Standen

    Just the sort of article I like! Excellent post!, let’s face it the future is not very bright at the moment, but the past we can selectively choose what we want!

  • DavidDrape

    excellent read and all very true. i am pleased you mentioned Tony cunningham the worst ever forward i have seen at SJP. However, in my opinion staying away will effect his brand & we as fans can devalue the club so ashley sells.  I also agree that when the gravy trains runs out and  ashley goes we will to have a big catch up  compared to many average clubs in the PL as the whole of nufc (on and off the pitch)  will be that far behind it will take at least minimum 5years to rebuild everything. Since 1892 the fans have been significant in making this club what is is today & now those same fans can break this club because ashley surely won’t hang around if we 20,000 crowds, newcastle united retail wasn’t making a worthwhile profit.

  • dude 1

    luv it proper reading at last yes those were the days

  • the blueman

    And I forgot to mention that fooking hereford game that is rammed doon our throats every time F A cup comes around

  • SGM

    Nice one JIm, loved that read.
    I think its geographical you don’t get many that WANT to play for the Toon because of its location, except Geordies. All of our greatest players have been Geordies.

  • LintonLad

    I just hope I am still alive to see it. I am running out of seasons.  You and me both, Jinky.  At least we were supporting them when we could reasonably think “maybe next season, if we just get that bit of luck…” (that luck could also have been if Tony Green hadn’t got crocked in 1973).  Nowadays we can’t even think that.  I really can’t see us winning anything, even if  Cashley was to sell up.

  • LintonLad

    SGM I agree with the geographical point, but Supermac, Sir Les and Hughie Gallacher definitely weren’t born and bred Geordies!

  • Belfast Ali

    Great read Jim, you’ve got a better memory than me, but it brings it all back.
    By the way Jinky Jimmy Smith was my idol, frustrating at times, but a great entertainer.
    Happy days!

  • Nicolaus Copernicus

    Belfast Ali 
    To me, Jimmy Smith’s finest game was our 3-0 5th round win at WBA during our ’74 cup run (he was our sub that day but came on early when Tommy Cassidy picked up an injury)

    Of course, his worst moment was breaking Tony Want’s leg and getting sent off for it in the very first minute of our home game against Birmingham. You could hear the bone crack from where I was standing on the other side of the field.

  • Nicolaus Copernicus

    Nice walk down Nostalgia Lane, Jim, though I dare say the Sta-pressed look was much better with a checked Ben Sherman shirt and a Crombie, rather than your Bay City Roller jumper with the tassled loafers LOL

  • Philippines

    Love it. I was at the ground when Supermac made his home debut so we are of the same era. By the way, did you eventually ‘get owt’ with Elaine?

  • Jarra MIck

    Spot one jinky I think we all started around the same time and all have similar memories of superman, terry hibbit et al. I didn’t realise at the time how good Jimmy smith was but I watched a compilation of newcastle in the 70s and junky featured in loads of it. What is so depressing now is we have no heroes, Shearer was the last one. We are left with a bunch of mercenary foreigners who seem to be getting a little worse every season until we inevitably succumb to another relegation. But I suppose at least we have those memories.