John Carver is really starting to annoy me.

After he’d worked in partnership with Alan Pardew for years, I wasn’t exactly expecting a great leap forward when he got the job afater Pardew jumped ship.

(To feature like John, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views are the author’s own etc etc)

However, I never ever thought that Carver would speak even more rubbish than his former boss.

It is total embarrassment the lengths he is going to as he tries to please Mike Ashley, he will truly say just anything to try and get the job long-term.

He really must think Newcastle fans were born just yesterday, especially with his latest comments about what is going to happen in the summer.

“I think the fact we have made it public that we are going to invest  – without naming any names….I have seen some of the players they are talking about and I am quite excited about them.

“I think we can put out a group of players who could be competitive, not just competitive in the top ten, but competitive!”

Players the fans want…:

“I think the club will let you know when any business is done, that is the right way and how they have always done it.

“I know it is not one or two people, it is major work and we know that. I know the type of players the fans like and they are the ones on the list, absolutely.”

How many times have we heard this?

Players are going to be signed, fans will be over the moon, take the club forward…get your season tickets!

John Carver says the only right and proper way for dealing with signings is for everybody, including fans, to only find out after the deals are done.

If that’s the case, why is he on Mike Ashley’s order blathering on about all the great signings Newcastle are going to make?

What is the reasoning behind this? Why not just unveil these new signings and then stand back and wait for the fans to swoon at the sight of these new gods that we are going to be watching?

Funny how this great news of future signings comes at the point where Newcastle are currently on a run of only 3 wins in 17 matches.

Funny how we’re told great players are on their way as we await officialconfirmation that Mike Ashley banked £50m or more in profits last season, when he didn’t buy a single player and let the squad go to rack and ruin.

Funny how John Carver is so keen to now attach himself to this inside club process of player recruitment and how brilliant signings are going to be made, despite claiming that he was only there to coach the team when he got the job, with players in and out being none of his business.

Just as Alan Pardew before him, sadly the vast majority of supporters doubt everything John Carver says.

It took Pardew a couple of years to achieve that, his replacement has taken only weeks to manage the same outcome.

  • Jarra MIck

    No sane person would make such comments understanding the recent past as he must do. I think it is fair to say he has been told to say these things. Personally I think he is wasting his time as those people who turned up on Saturday will go no matter what shite is put out in front of them. I am of the opinion that we could go down next season if the wrong decisions are made in the summer. If we sell our sellable players and keep the dross, which we all know we are likely to do and bring in more dross then we will be scrapping it out at the bottom.

  • Demented_Man

    He must regard us all as a bunch of dustbins – we’ll take everything in.

  • TelBoyTelboy

    Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies

  • Thecyclist1

    I was at close house celebrating a birthday 2 or so years ago. It was after we’d finished 5th bottom after the season we’d finished 5th. Sat on a table next to Carver and Steve Stone and 2 older gentleman. Carver did nothing but complain about low moral, unpaid bonuses and how they hadn’t even been paid their ‘promised’ 10% pension contribution. All of this being the reason that they’d been so poor that season. ‘Mikey’ was certainly not his number one favourite person that day. To now near him is embarrassing and extremely sad. He is cutting a pathetic figure and deserves all he gets when it comes to him. Sad sad man.

  • Maximus Moose

    TelBoyTelboy And more Lies

  • Steven Mckenna

    I know we wont

  • nufcmag777

    We all know exactly what Ashley will do as per previous.He will tout Janmat,Sissoko,Perez & tiote and the highest bidder will take our best players.The money received will finance summer spending and the expected £50 mill profit from last year will vanish.No capital expenditure.

  • steviermnufc1

    What a load of rubbish, anybody can make a list of players that doesn’t mean your gonna sign them. Bet on the list, is players we can never get like Ronaldo and Messi lol

  • Hughie

    Yes it’s season ticket renewal time !! Will we be signing wonderful unknown mercenaries for peanuts, like the present lot half of whom are not fit to wear the shirt? Once again Charnley is hiding behind the coach. Our dealings in the transfer market are shocking and all of the really interesting “names” will be signing for clubs that pay competitive salaries and have ambition. Amateurish conmen through and through, don’t be fooled.

  • GToon

    ” I think the club will let you know when any business is done, that is the right way and how they have always done it” What??????? The club dont speak, John. They wont even speak to you either you silly little man. They will sell your best players and give us somebody we have never heard of as a replacement. And you wont be in charge anyway and they probably wont tell you either just like they did with Shearer and the list he drew up……

  • Emmett Gill

    He’s got no integrity and no self respect.

  • GToon

    steviermnufc1 Ronaldo MacDonald might be!

  • Gordan Nufc Burke


  • RexN

    nufcmag777 And, of course, keeping Gouffran will be like having a new signing.

  • Keith K Mason

    Too right i wont haaàaaa

  • David Carruthers

    To be fair to Carver he is right – I don’t believe it!

  • NUFC9

    He lost all credibility straight after he took over from Pardew when he said he’d be putting out his strongest possible team in the FA Cup against Leicester then left out all the top players.

  • Toonbadger

    TelBoyTelboy  You forgot LIES

  • Toon69

    You’re correct, I don’t believe!!! Because in the end, it’s pointless having a list of players the club ‘is’ going to sign when half of them will reject our under value, zero hour contracts, another quarter will get picked off by other ambition PL clubs & the last few will be of the calibri of Riverie, Obertan etc so won’t make a jot of difference to the quality of our team!!!

  • Margaret Herron

    You are right there and why would they come with the situation this club is in.

  • alreet

    Is that including or excluding the “like a new” signings of aarons. De jong. Dummett and tiote when they come back. Tell u wat if he comes out with that i will spit blood in his face. In fact if he is there come summer then im done.

  • JoeWriteson

    How on earth does this man transport his nose around … it must need a Police Escort when moving these days!

  • Adam_B

    Well, looking at the comments here, it seems there is a clear consensus that Carver is talking rubbish and is not to be believed. And who can blame us for thinking this way? It would be absolutely extraordinary if the club’s owner suddenly started sanctioning quality player purchases, why now? why at all given what has gone on before?

    Is Carver delusional (he actually believes what he is saying) of just a fool sprouting what he has been told to say by those who hold the fans in contempt (“give them a bone – it’ll keep them quiet a bit longer while we continue to take the piss”)? Neither is very pleasant or bodes well for our club.

    The truth is simply this, under ‘ current ownership, anybody employed by the club and speaking publicly is lying or speaking half-truths and necessarily so as the (unspeakable and unpalatable) truth is that there will be no significant investment in quality players, fans’ wishes and hopes will not be considered in the plans of the club’s owner and NUFC will not be permitted to win anything. And there in a nutshell is also why come the summer we will not got a quality manager/coach of good standing/ reputation unless he is naïve enough to believe the type of crap that Carver has now been asked to sprout.

    Oh, and by the way, if we don’t pick up any more points, which is quite possible, we are not safe from relegation yet.

  • Lofty9

    You’re right Mr Carver I won’t believe it until they are signed, and if this list exists I’ll expect business done in the first few weeks of the close season. Not much to ask if all this prep work has been done really? Would it be beyond us all to NOT renew season tickets before these players are signed? By what I read not many are in a rush to take your seat, despite the spin they put on it.

  • ExToonFan

    Mike Ashley please die

  • Paul Patterson

    Adam_B  We will NOT get relegated.

  • Paul Patterson

    You could sign Messi, Ronaldo, Rooney, Neymar, Costa and Robben, but if Carver remains . .

  • goldie2488

    More and more nonsense from Carver who we want to sign and who comes is a completely different thing we need a big clear out first Ameobi GOUFRAN Williamson Anita Obertan Streete just to name a few plus many more then massive investment and numbers of players is needed

  • ExToonFan


  • AndyMac1

    You’re right Carver, we dont believe you or your lying “hope to convince the faithful to buy season tickets” AH boss. Just STFU.

  • wivawova

    We are linked to a right back from Hoffenheim this morning. Right back and Goalkeeper are about the only positions that we have quality in. 
    If this is what I’m meant to “not believe” then he’s right.  I don’t.

  • David Williams

    Bang on the nail Carver , i dont

  • Alex Wilkinson

    Spot on JC they’re lying to ya!

  • newcastle7

    Ashley will not bank  £50m   it goes into the clubs books and if anything will be used to offset the clubs loans of £129m.No doubt this summer there will be some excellent signing in the same class as Cabaye,Perez,
    Cisse and Cabella to mention a few.

  • Chemical Dave

    Simon, been onto the club and they say you’ve dropped out the top twenty hit parade this week, try getting on here more often with your tongue jammed in fat boys hoop if you want to move up again….. that’s right pop pickers !

  • shadsdad

    Why sign them if we won’t believe them?

  • dude 1

    Your right John i won’t believe them till i see them,

  • Hez

    I’m off to buy myself a season ticket, can’t wait to see all these new signings pushing us towards the Euro places, love you John

  • scotty63

    wivawova We’ll need a right back to replace Janmaat

  • No Brainer

    As he’s a toon fan, what i want to know from John is how excited he is about the new head coach were getting in the summer?

  • No Brainer

    wivawova theres no right back cover

  • Toon Terrier

    Normal M0 is talk about signings, sign a couple, talk about signing more, fans renew then we sell our best. I will believe what players are in the squad on 31st August

  • Kev82

    Can predict the September 1st statement now – “we had some exciting names on our list but could just not get them over the line”

  • TheCraigHunter

    Ambition in “getting them over the line” is going to be the biggest problem. Good job he’s got his head stuck in the head coach duties (which includes picking the winnets out of Mike’s hairy arse) otherwise we might struggle. The only team John will get near next season is Team Valley… or Crystal Palace where he’ll return to he role has Bradley Walsh to Ricky Tomlinson’s Mike Bassett. Yes Boss, Yes Boss… Yes Boss.

  • partworntyres

    someone shut him up before he claims to be kk’s twin.

  • Mark Brooker

    Buying to sell in January for inflated price and like the last few seasons limp home in the second half of the season. They’ll still be thousands that believe it though and that’s who this propaganda is aimed at as renewals are due.

  • GToon

    Paul Patterson Adam_B Have a look at the last 4 games for Burnley. They are all winnable. Theres 12 points for them. Relegation normally includes 2 at the bottom plus another club in free fall. Who have we got next? mackems then Liverpool. No points there then. I don’t think we are safe at all.

  • MichaelMidd90

    magpielegge86 NUFCTheMag you’re right john, we won’t

  • Buhari Ganiyu

    hmmm..cant wait to see the new nufc

  • Big Al 1967

    Paul Patterson Adam_B I will be delighted if we are not relegated but do you seriously think that 35 points will be enough, because if Carver continues with his existing tactics we will not pick up a point from the scum, Liverpool, Spurs and Swansea. So to reach the fabled 40 point mark that means 5 points from the remaining 4 games Tough times ahead

  • Stuart Go Lightly Wilson

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz been here before JC just the wages to negotiate just look round the prem at the players we missed out on…….

  • Keith Pringle

    Keith Chalmers

  • magpie9

    For once Carver is telling the truth, I don’t believe a word he is saying

  • Peaco

    …and I can’t believe it’s not butter

  • Paul Patterson

    Big Al 1967 Paul Patterson Adam_B  I know it’s dangerous, but 35 points will be more than enough this season.
    Personally, I think the mackems will be safe if the get another 4 points and I expect us to give them at least one of those.
    For Burnley to catch us, we would have to not pick up another point, which is unlikely as bad as we are. But moreover, Burnley would have to win THREE games and draw ONE just to catch us, when they’ve only won FIVE all season.
    Not going to happen . .

  • Paul Patterson

    GToon Paul Patterson Adam_B  Burnley have Spurs and Arsenal at home then Everton away (Nowt) They may beat Leicester , but not West Ham away, I can’t see them beating Stoke at Home or Hull away. They may however beat Aston Villa. So there’s 7-8 points.
    Not enough. It’s frankly an awful bottom half . .

  • AxleF

    The whisper is that its 2 bright prospects from Forest !!

  • v0ices

    AxleF saylor and sieme de jong will be like new singings so counting the forest lads that’s 4 new players, adding tiote and cissie both out injured its like we have signed 6 already job done.