John Carver was in magical form after the feeble surrender against Everton, saying that he hasn’t the abiility of illusionist Harry Houdini, plus he doesn’t possess a Harry Potter style magic wand.

The Newcastle Head coach clearly feeling the strain as he faces problems on numerous fronts.

Carver claims that most fans ‘understand’ the position he is in, well that may be true up to a point but it isn’t a great defence against the stick that he is getting.

He has taken the job knowing what the situation is.

A squad that isn’t big enough because Mike Ashley refuses to allow sufficient players to be brought in, then in January sat back and watched Ashley sell Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa and loan out Davide Santon with the intention of selling him as well.

That meant Newcastle were only one defensive injury away from being right on the edge and when Dummett was ruled out for the season, Newcastle were left with only four defenders.

At that point he should have insisted a condition of taking the job was that he could bring in at least one defender, even if just on loan.

It is no good turning around now and complaining about the situation he is in.

As for the team selection yesterday, in the away end the fans couldn’t believe that both Cabella and Perez were left on the bench, whilst Riviere, Ameobi, Gouffran and Obertan were chosen ahead of them. Even if Cabella could only play 45 minutes he should have been on the pitch, not wait until we were already beaten.

John Carver:

“I am not Harry Houdini. I am working with the group of players I have and I can’t just wave a magic wand to bring anybody in from the outside.

“I will though give the situation everything and work with what I have, I think that the majority of fans understand that.”

It is not silly injuries:

“I am not losing people through silly training ground injuries, I am losing them through silly red and yellow cards. I have a huge, huge injury list at St James’ Park and I’m working with what I have got.”

You think you’re getting somewhere..;

“You think you are getting somewhere on the squad size front, Jack Colback back from suspension, Remy Cabella and Rob Elliot coming back.

“You think you are getting somewhere then all of a sudden you could lose your captain for three games, a defender which we are not blessed with many of.”


  • Simon Sharp

    FFS, he’s not even Harry Redknapp.

  • partworntyres

    oh people of the north , you understand , let houdini lead into a glorious tomorrow – he will do his best…….

  • Little Davey

    ‘YES’ men don’t put conditions in before taking the best job they would EVER get.
    The good news is that Parver will never last a full season in the job.
    If Mash n co cant see that then next season will be our last in the Premier League.

  • A lex

    The burning question must be, “Were Harry Houdini and Harry Potter among the other 79 applicants?”

  • DZA187

    It’s time for JC to step down, he clearly does not know what he is doing and out of his depth.

  • DZA187

    I just can’t see us getting a win this season now as the team looks like they’ve given up under clueless JC, or should I say, useless JC

  • ” No he’s not Harry Houdini or Harry Potter but he does say he is. “Red Adair and the reincarnation of SBR ” He’s not a Coach either ,he says he has the ghost of SBR in the dugout with him how I wished the ghost of SBR could have inspired us in the second half against Everton cos the CHARVER cannot do it …Come back Pardew PLEEEEESE….This guy is a joke ,Bobby Thompson could of done a better job”…..

  • Sickandtiredstill

    All we understand is that JC is a Geordie, at his home town club, and wanted the job any of us would dream of. Fair do’s on that.
    Then reality sets in. He isn’t good enough. Being a yes man has inevitable consequences. The owner is running the club from top to bottom – and once again he’s running it into the ground except on a balance sheet. 
    If the supporters understood what has been needed for the last two seasons almost, then the management and coaching team clearly should have also.
    This situation was a glaringly obvious risk to all but the staunchest Ashley fan, but the club and everyone involved in it’s operation went along with the Ashley method without so much as whimper.
    Shame on the lot of them and shame on anyone who ever believed Ashley was anything but what he truly is – a parasite and a cancer on this football club..

  • A lex

    That’s the very last thing we want – the emergence of a “come back Pardew” brigade.
    What we all need is a concerted effort between now and end of season to give both barrels contiuously to Ashley. Not just at the final game like last season, when he knows that the sheople have all summer to calm down again and will troop obediently back in August.

  • DZA187

    Sickandtiredstill The pressure is really on clueless JC now, yeah he’s a geordie but everyone can see, he’s not upto the job from day one. 

    It’s another cheap option for the fatman and with a weak squad, and a yes man in charge. I just can’t see us getting win all season now but the teams below us, I just can’t see the bottom 3 getting more than 35 points, leaving newcastle safe maybe.

  • I’d rather see Mikie Basset aka Ricky Tomlinson as head coach . We’d still go down but at least we’d have sore bellies !

  • partworntyres  Generally , people don’t hang around once they’ve escaped !

  • mrkgw

    Surprised he knows who Harry Houdini is – someone must have brought him into conversation pre interview. The club is in melt down due to an atrocious and despicable owner, inept amdpathetic chairman and non entity of a head coach. Supporters seriously must take a stand and force these parasites from within the walls of St James. The club is otherwise destroyed.

  • Gaz Lowe

    Hes certainly not a manager or head coach. Anyone got an idea of what he is? Answers on a postcard.

  • No Brainer

    Little Davey Oh I think he can see that now, even the players are telling the press straight after the game that it was the setup that defeated them yesterday. Whilst it is true the ref ballsed up and we would have probably won the game with them down to ten, the fact is he did and we had nothing to show after 2 minutes into the game. How on earth he started with either ameobi or obertan with a fit cabella on the bench is beyond me surely he could have had him on to be replaced by them.

    If John wants to keep any job at newcastle as coach he needs to convince the boss that the Head coach needs appointed right away.

  • dude 1

    if John Carver is such a proud man and like he says cares for the club you would think a proud man would step aside and admit that he was not up to the task, if like we keep reading he is such a good coach, once he has stepped down ( and people will applaud his decision ) surely with in a few months he would have another job with another club.

  • Corkyjohn

    The man is a moron, obviously you only need to turn up to get your coaching badges. Carver is a prime example as to why you should have to prove your ability before receiving your badges. Stop turning up for the games or make every match 90mins of fury aimed at Ashley & the regime…..

  • BillyfromConsett

    It was always going to be a tall order for any incoming coach – to be told that the £40m+ profits are earmarked for other projects, and also that there are too many players on salaries at the club.

    To take that job shows naivety to the extreme, and the needing of injuries and suspensions to be at a minimum.
    You could say there was the fall guy in the plan, a bit like Pardew, but with even less available playing talent.

    If we stay up, which is likely on the points we have, or obviously if we don’t, there will be a change of coach – to yes man mark 3.

    We’re on the meltdown ride – again. The responsibility for that stems from one chair, and it ain’t anywhere north of the Watford Gap.

  • Sickandtiredstill

    No Brainer Little Davey We wuz robbed. Bollix. Never a penalty and clearly shown on the highlights.
    JC is only part of of a larger problem. The fat man upstairs and the moronic way he is operating this football club is the cause.
    As always, you’ll find any other reason except that one.

  • Kenny Smith

    He’s not even Harry Ramsden

  • No Brainer

    Poyet’s available

  • No Brainer

    Sickandtiredstill No Brainer Little Davey  If you knew the rules they state that if a player moves his arms to protect himself and this results in contact the referee should award a penalty.

    Absolute tosh he raised his arm and it hit his forearm whilst he was failing and falling backwards had his arm not been their it would of hit his face or neck and dropped in front off willo not ricocheted out of sight from his moving forearm.

    As he was denying a goal scoring opportunity it should be a sending off also.

    That doesn’t excuse nufc’s performance yesterday at all it is a fact though.

    What is clear though is that on reflection probably since colo has been captain if not before, we do not harrass ref’s or linesmen. When this happened yesterday we waved our arms about a bit that’s all. when this happens elsewhere the players go mental putting presure and doubt on the ref, maybe we are just to nice maybe our players just don’t have that determination to win mentality.

  • Toonbadger

    John Carver says that he hasn’t the abiility of illusionist Harry Houdini, plus he doesn’t possess a Harry Potter style magic wand. He forgot to mention that he hasn`t got a Scooby doo either