Garth Crooks has made a hilarious choice of a Newcastle player for his Premier League team of the week.

The funny part isn’t that the BBC pundit has picked one of the Newcastle team after the display against Hull City, it is the identity of the particular player.

Proving once again that people like Crooks haven’t got a clue, he has gone for Fabricio Coloccini as one of the two best centre-backs amongst Premier League defenders of the weekend.

The irony being of course that the United Captain had a shocker and was by far the worst player amongst the fourteen John Carver used, single-handedly almost sabotaging the win with shocking errors that almost handed goals to Hull on at least two occasions, while his all round play was poor as well.

This was reflected in our new interactive player ratings for Saturday’s match, with thousands of fans giving the fourteen players their individual marks and Coloccini being bottom by a mile. Coloccini’s feeble rating of 5.3 in marked contrast to United’s real man of the match Remy Cabella who received an average 8.3 from the Newcastle supporters.

The clue as to Garth Crooks’ choice comes with his explanation of Coloccini’s selection;

‘This was a terrific team performance by Newcastle United and newly-appointed boss John Carver. Fabricio Coloccini’s clearance off the line was a telling moment in the game for the Magpies, but not as important as the decision by the assistant referee, who spotted a handball by Ahmed Elmohamady and correctly disallowed the goal. An excellent team performance by Coloccini and his colleagues facilitated by superb refereeing by Phil Dowd and his assistant.’

Clearly Crooks has seen that moment when Tim Krul touched the ball onto Coloccini, who did well to be in the right place to then clear ,but who otherwise was terrible.

The BBC pundit obviously making an assumption that Colo had done OK otherwise and that this one moment could be put forward as though he had a clue what he was talking about overall.

The full Garth Crooks team of the week on BBC Sport was;

Hugo Lloris (Tottenham)

Hector Bellerin (Arsenal)

Kurt Zouma (Chelsea)

Fabricio Coloccini (Newcastle)

Danny Rose (Tottenham)

Daley Blind (Man Utd)

Christian Eriksen (Tottenham)

Mesut Ozil (Arsenal)

Raheem Sterling (Liverpool)

Jonathan Walters (Stoke)

Jermain Defoe (Sunderland)

City Hall Gifts -

  • No Brainer

    I get enough pelters on here any way but I’m going to say it.

    I seen your headline and knowing the script of mag writers I was thinking how many times do people need to be told Anita was fantastic at the weekend. I was wrong.
    What I’m expecting the peters for is.

    I’m stunned even Willo outshone Colo at the weekend.

  • Stephen McMenzie


  • wor monga

    You can’t be a bad defence if you keep a clean sheet…Collo
    did his bit, with Willo…along with Krul (exceptional), Anita (he knows he can
    do it), Haidara (he’ll be right)…Janmaat (top quality)
    …Hull put pressure on them, but ended up having to cheat at
    the lowest level to get some reward…that for me is a good defence, and if Collo
    got the nod from some numbnuts, that’s OK…the captain always takes it for the

  • Tonytoon

    Although I can’t understand Crooks’ choice there is no doubt in my mind that Collo was not nearly as bad as you and the usual moaners would have people believe. In fact apart from the slice I can’t remember any seriously poor play from him. Although he is not in the best form we still look more vulnerable without him. He has become the current fashionable target for the whingers. Boy – we are so good at that – encouraging players who are out of form.

  • Nastynorm

    Always thought crooks was a thick get & tony toon wants to get to specsavers if he thinks useless Collo isnt a bad player, he’s got no pace, no heart, can’t win a header just jumps into players backs & dosnt organise the team sum captain he is, the sooner we get a new centr half pairing the better & a new captain with sum guts !

  • toonterrier

    Nearly as bad is that one of the sunday papers making Sammy man of the match. Yes he scored a decent goal with a toe poke but otherwise for most of the game he was either bone idle or clueless.Get rid.

  • SimonM68

    Crooks is an embarrassment and has been for a long time. You can see his pundit colleagues recoiling away from him on the sofa.  To be very clear – I’ve no axe to grind racially at all, but he’s surely an example of positive discrimination or he wouldn’t have kept that job for 5 minutes

  • mYoung23

    Sums his football knowledge up really, after almost scoring one of the strangest og’s ever!!! Get a grip garth

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Unfortunately there’s still quite a few supporters who would agree with him. The guy is an ongoing liability these days. Even more concerning when hes one of our few fit defenders left.

  • Bishbosh11

    Obviously, he only watched some highlights. It would be typical of the BBC to sway the publics judgment with their biased highlights.

  • DownUnderMag

    This happens when you base your entire football knowledge of Match of the Day highlights!