When the Newcastle United squad jetted off to Dubai for a team building trip to try and turn around a run of only two wins in the last twelve matches, there was much puzzlement as to why Captain Fabricio Coloccini had chosen to give it a miss.

Reports followed, claiming that Colo had missed it due to dealing with ‘personal issues’, leading many fans to assume that he must have flown to Argentina to visit his family as has often happened in the past.

colocciniHowever, it later emerged according to United fan website nufc.com that the NUFC skipper had been spotted in Newcastle city centre on Monday, as well as watching the Under 21 match against Blackburn at St. James’ Park on Tuesday night.

With confusion reigning, there has now emerged a scandalous claim as to why the Newcastle Captain missed this team building trip.

(To feature like Dean, send in your articles for our website to [email protected])

A friend of a friend of a friend of Fabricio Coloccini’s hairdresser says that while he was under the dryer for a few hours, the captain admitted the real reason he’d not gone to Dubai.

It is claimed that with Colo turning 33 today (Thursday), Facundo Ferreyra was baking a special birthday cake to thank his fellow Argentine for the six month non-playing holiday Coloccini helped land for him at St. James’ Park – the United skipper not wanting to hurt his best mate’s feelings by not being around this morning after he’d gone to all that trouble of baking him the cake, complete with candles.

When asked about the cake reports, Managing Director Lee Charnley refused to talk to reporters saying that the whole thing was making Newcastle United look ridiculous this week, to which one of the journalists replied that he’d started it with his Chronicle interview.

Christmas Gifts - shop.themag.co.uk
  • DZA187

    I wouldn’t want to work on my birthday either :)

  • A lex

    Hahaha. Very funny.
    (Hope some readers take this for the jest that it is meant to be, rather than get ‘oh so serious’ about things)

  • No Brainer

    Very good, its true you kna all true I tell ya

  • LeazesEnder

    I wondered where that was going!

  • baty1963

    Class :)

  • Toonbadger

    “Lee Charnley refused to talk to reporters saying that the whole thing was making Newcastle United look ridiculous”
    HTF can we look more ridiculous than they have already made us look?

  • Sickandtiredstill

    Nearly as funny as the rumour that Collo is himself interviewing for the job……….

  • amacdee

    Maybe Colo was helping Ferreyra move all his worldly possessions ? I would imagine he’d get a slice of the wheelbarrow full of dosh Ferreyra “earned” as a result of Colo’s recommendations to the Board ?

  • amacdee

    BTW is Colo’s hairdresser a welder ?

  • Brownale69

    He was seen with Elvis at Byker chip shop getting his smoked sausage and chips I was there

  • PeterRobson

    Brownale69 Do they still do those lovely savaloys there ? I used to nip in on a saturday from work in Byker before heading home to get changed for the match !!!! Ah those were the days !!!
    They even still had a cinema on shields Road then !!!

  • PeterRobson

    DZA187 Looks like he had a rough paper round growing up in Argentina mate !!!

    The years at NUFC haven´t been kind to him !!!

  • Who said that

    Or interviewing himself for the job

  • toonterrier

    Just read a statement from Mr Charnley saying he doesn’t mind if the players celebrate birthdays anniversaries or even transfers to more ambitious clubs as long as they dont eat cup cakes.

  • ToonBano

    ….maybe Colo’s gay

  • Jim Joe Billy Bob

    PeterRobson Brownale69  Two in fact, the Scala and the Heaton Electric, happy days…

  • Nastynorm

    Time 2 bring an end 2 the so called players from Argentina, ferrerya crap, guttierez never realy done it while he’s bn here (pleasd he’s overcome his illness ) & as for useless Collo captain fantastic my arse ! Dosnt deserve a place in team, he a lightweight,soft,dosnt command the defence never mind the team & he’s our so called leader ! Hes a bad influence on other players & team,get rid asap & get someone in who’s actually got a heart & who’s more for the team than mop head !!