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What the hell is going on at Newcastle United?

7 years ago

Is Newcastle United a Mickey Mouse club from top to bottom?

It’s a question we’ve asked quite a lot over the last eight years of Mike Ashley’s reign– but now is the time when once again the fans are left asking: ‘JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AT NEWCASTLE UNITED’.

My own levels of disillusionment have rocketed since that fleeting moment of glee on December 28th 2014, when I realised I no longer had to put with Alan Pardew and his trusting to luck game plan.

Despite the rubbish spouted by idiotic apologists like Merson and Collymore, the club is a lot better off without Pardew in charge – for now, but it does need a manager, and a good one. I’m not keen to see John Carver continue until summer, let alone permanently. My view is that he won’t be able to take that team forward in the longer term.

It had been a tactical shambles under Pardew ever since the back end of 2012, punctuated by the odd stunning result here and there. Pardew, and NUFC, have not now won a Tyne and Wear derby match since August of 2011.

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Now we find ourselves in the post-Pardew limbo, and while I don’t want the guy to come back, it is becoming a huge concern as to what is happening behind the closed doors at St James’ Park. Not a lot seems to be the answer.

As things stand we need a manager, a striker and a central defender. There aren’t even any rumours of that happening, let alone any concrete developments. A Mickey Mouse club from top to bottom? I don’t think it’s that far off.

Just what the hell is Lee Charnley doing? Nothing personal, but he’s not a strategist. He’s just club secretary, now promoted to Managing Director. There is no strategic leadership at boardroom level, in my view. The silence from Charnley is deafening. We are told he’s approached Remi Garde, but that’s about it.

Meanwhile the owner, Mr Ashley, the super villain of the peace, is too busy trying to get his hands on that Scottish basket case, Glasgow Rangers. He’s loaned them £10m, we hear. You really couldn’t make this up.

Carver is left to soldier on amid the chaos. Some of his press conferences have in my view been poor, not to mention the results. He’s played his ‘I worked with Sir Bobby’ card. He’s played his ‘I’m a local lad’ card. Then yesterday he has played his ‘at least I’m not Graeme Souness’ card, when he told the papers how he warned Shepherd about hiring GS in 2004 (probably rightly, to be fair!).

My guess is that Carver may have already been told he’s going to be in charge until the summer, but to keep mum about it until the end of the transfer window, and we all know why. Prove me wrong Charnley, prove me wrong!

The club’s account will also be out soon, when we’ll doubtless learn of an even higher level of profit – and yet we soldier on with slim pickings at the centre of our defence (Mike Williamson) and up front. I hear we can’t even agree a contract with Rolando Aarons, one of our best prospects, a player who has been watched by numerous other clubs.

There have been worse times in the history of Newcastle Utd, that’s for sure, but the current malaise is still totally unacceptable and making us a laughing stock. Mike Ashley is killing off all the hope and interest in the club. What a bloody mess – yet again.

You can follow the author on Twitter @DavePunton


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