Is Newcastle United a Mickey Mouse club from top to bottom?

It’s a question we’ve asked quite a lot over the last eight years of Mike Ashley’s reign– but now is the time when once again the fans are left asking: ‘JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AT NEWCASTLE UNITED’.

newcastle unitedMy own levels of disillusionment have rocketed since that fleeting moment of glee on December 28th 2014, when I realised I no longer had to put with Alan Pardew and his trusting to luck game plan.

Despite the rubbish spouted by idiotic apologists like Merson and Collymore, the club is a lot better off without Pardew in charge – for now, but it does need a manager, and a good one. I’m not keen to see John Carver continue until summer, let alone permanently. My view is that he won’t be able to take that team forward in the longer term.

It had been a tactical shambles under Pardew ever since the back end of 2012, punctuated by the odd stunning result here and there. Pardew, and NUFC, have not now won a Tyne and Wear derby match since August of 2011.

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Now we find ourselves in the post-Pardew limbo, and while I don’t want the guy to come back, it is becoming a huge concern as to what is happening behind the closed doors at St James’ Park. Not a lot seems to be the answer.

As things stand we need a manager, a striker and a central defender. There aren’t even any rumours of that happening, let alone any concrete developments. A Mickey Mouse club from top to bottom? I don’t think it’s that far off.

Just what the hell is Lee Charnley doing? Nothing personal, but he’s not a strategist. He’s just club secretary, now promoted to Managing Director. There is no strategic leadership at boardroom level, in my view. The silence from Charnley is deafening. We are told he’s approached Remi Garde, but that’s about it.

Meanwhile the owner, Mr Ashley, the super villain of the peace, is too busy trying to get his hands on that Scottish basket case, Glasgow Rangers. He’s loaned them £10m, we hear. You really couldn’t make this up.

Carver is left to soldier on amid the chaos. Some of his press conferences have in my view been poor, not to mention the results. He’s played his ‘I worked with Sir Bobby’ card. He’s played his ‘I’m a local lad’ card. Then yesterday he has played his ‘at least I’m not Graeme Souness’ card, when he told the papers how he warned Shepherd about hiring GS in 2004 (probably rightly, to be fair!).

My guess is that Carver may have already been told he’s going to be in charge until the summer, but to keep mum about it until the end of the transfer window, and we all know why. Prove me wrong Charnley, prove me wrong!

The club’s account will also be out soon, when we’ll doubtless learn of an even higher level of profit – and yet we soldier on with slim pickings at the centre of our defence (Mike Williamson) and up front. I hear we can’t even agree a contract with Rolando Aarons, one of our best prospects, a player who has been watched by numerous other clubs.

There have been worse times in the history of Newcastle Utd, that’s for sure, but the current malaise is still totally unacceptable and making us a laughing stock. Mike Ashley is killing off all the hope and interest in the club. What a bloody mess – yet again.

You can follow the author on Twitter @DavePunton

  • SimonM68

    I’m relying an observation from the natural world – that leeches fall off when they are full. It’s just that our leech has a very big belly….

  • pissed off mag

    we got to stop going no wonder people think we are all stupid sheep, i even look at our own fans in wonga shirts and think they are so thick its unreal, who would have a shirt with wonga on.
    joe kinnear summed it up when he said youll always have 50,000 idiots watching newcastle theres nowt else to do.
    we have to stop going in our thousands to stop this slob killing us forever

  • superalansuddick

    Nobody at boardroom level has a clue about football,or how to run a Football club.

  • vbhgft

    pissed off mag Here’s a scenario for you – Ashley sells up. A new, generous, positive owner buys NUFC and things are looking up. The new owner changes lots of things but he wants to keep the business relationship with Wonga. Would you have a shirt with Wonga on it then?

    Of course you would. 


  • toon tony

    This club is going nowhere fast, like the film Titanic…floating around in the ocean while lifeboats are yards away, starring at us. ….apparently !!!!

  • toon tony

    This club is going nowhere fast, like the film Titanic,floating around the ocean while lifeboats are yards away starring at us. ..apparently. ..

  • mrkgw

    Agree with every piece of this article – excellent. Charnley, Ashley – not fit for the club, either of them and they have taken things to new depths. Both are a disgrace and I want them out. ASAP. Otherwise, our club is destined for the bin. No doubt whatsoever.

  • pissed off mag

    vbhgft pissed off mag  you really think i or my family would wear a shirt with wonga on it ? so your one of the mugpies with that dopey shirt on, its clowns like you that ashley loves,
    BAAAAAAAAAA !!!!! dunce

  • Jock Savait

    You might have to give the fat leech a helping hand

  • vbhgft

    pissed off mag vbhgft Wrong. I don’t wear a replica shirt. Never have.

    My point, that you have failed to grasp, is that is if a successful owner like Sheikh Mansour wanted to put Wonga on our shirts you would queue up to wear one.

  • toon tony

    Whether it’s Wonga, Brown Ale, Northern Rock etc it doesn’t matter who is on the shirt. It goe down to personal choice. I don’t drink but would wear a Brown Ale logo. ..I have borrowed money in the past but would Not wear a Wonga shirt.

  • Shaker_Shakrah

    Where is the idiots running this club 
    let them read this !!

  • vbhgft

    toon tony For “Wonga” you read “Ashley”. If Mansour wanted Wonga, you’d wear Wonga.

  • Hughie

    All that Mr Charnley has to do is communicate effectively. At a stroke he could reverse much of the adverse publicity which constantly affects the club and costs it millions.By effective, I mean in person, and in public, rather than the usual impersonal website commentary.  That is an integral part of serving your customers when you are managing and directing any company with a highly public interface. It is acceptable to delegate football matters to the coach or acting coach, but anything involving recruitment or finance at the club is the responsibility of those managing the relevant areas. If and when you fail to communicate you usually have something to hide, or nothing to say. We know that the club needs a coach and we know that the owner is expanding his football empire which almost certainly will impact on NUFC and its 50,000 plus fans. So we know that there is something to say. The deafening silence from SJP with no information re a coach, no activity in the transfer market, the ongoing saga with SD and Rangers etc simply results in negativity, speculation and even more loss of respect for the so called Board. So come on Mr MD man up, wake up,earn your salary and communicate.

  • vbhgft

    Hughie Spot on. NUFC’s PR is of car crash proportions.

  • Mal44

    Charnley’ priority at the moment is probably to negotiate as high a price as possible for Sissoko and Cisse. The new head coach will be put to one side until the end of the season. Hopfully I’m wrong on all counts but, as we aren’t told anything, all we can do is speculate.

  • pissed off mag

    vbhgft pissed off mag  stupid man no i wouldnt you clown

  • mrkgw

    Absolutely right Hughie. I for one lost respect for Ashley ages ago, and Charnley upon realising that he was an Ashley mini me. They’re shockers, they really are. No professionalism or class.

  • Maximus Moose

    I hate them using my relatives Name

  • jimblag

    toon tony And Ashley is like Rose, there is enough room on the door for one more but she won’t move up ‘cos she’s selfish.

  • likelylad

    Cant believe some of this.
    Its like folk don’t think.
    If we are after a mnager at another club you cant very well advertise you are after him until everything has been agreed.
    I cant believe you expect the club to do that.

  • likelylad

    They have communicated.
    They said they are interviewing.
    What do you want off them? For them to phone you up every time they are going to do something

  • toontom68

    likelylad but we arent after a manager at another club so thats a pointless thing to say!
    come to the real world.

  • I love my black and white. We have been here bfore with Mckeag and said cronies. I know its hard but Ashley will either sell up or die.

  • toon tony

    Crystal Palace did. ….thankfully.

  • GToon

    Mal44 You are probably spot on Mal. End of season or end of transfer window. Not sure if Ashley will gamble our status in the league by leaving it to Carver to keep us up.

  • A lex

    Ashley DOES NOT communicate. So, don’t expect any. Charnley and other staff say either nothing, or under strictly controlled script. Abyssal attitude to people. It’s US that should be ‘communicating’ to Ashley in a vociferous way, but too many sheeple around these days – so sad.

  • A lex

    It’s a ludicrous scenario. If we had ambitious owners like Mansoor, they’d promote the club and engage with sponsors of international renown – not two- bit loan sharks only operating at the desperate level of society.

  • killyted

    yep carver will be the next coach,29th jan is the date,17th in the league will do.mind the jocks know how to protest

  • GToon

    Hughie Hughie, you are absolutely spot on with your comments but if you didnt have to do any of what you said and the ground would still be full and you didnt care about associated commercial revenue what would you do? Talk to fans you dont care about or just ignore them?

  • GToon

    SimonM68 The nightmare scenario for me is that Ashley sells up but not completely and somehow the success of the club still benefits him. For example free Sports Direct advertising or whatever like he currently enjoys to the cost of the club.

  • mentalman

    We don’t really know who the club is after

  • Who said that

    You can say that again….oh you already have