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The 10 reasons why Alan Pardew obviously isn’t going to Crystal Palace

6 years ago
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The Alan Pardew bandwagon is rolling.

Our glorious leader is supposedly heading back to the smoke and going to manage Crystal Palace.

Now I don’t want to go over the same ground as in Dean Wilkins’ excellent article earlier today.

(To feature like Sam, send in your articles for our website to [email protected])

In other words, all the obvious reasons why the Palace story is absolute rubbish.

Instead I have delved down a few layers and come up with my 10 own reasons why Newcastle United won’t be losing their manager any time soon…

Pardew to give up the media spotlight at Newcastle for relative anonymity at Palace…???

Mike Ashley won’t allow him to leave.

Yoan Gouffran isn’t a Palace player.

Pardew still has has a major job to finish…relegating NUFC.

When getting stick he couldn’t use the ‘Fans hate all cockneys’ line.

He might have to do extra work during the transfer windows.

Newcastle have more supporters to annoy than Crystal Palace.

No other person would get close to follow Ashley’s orders like Pardew does.

The doorways are slightly smaller at Selhurst Park and his ego wouldn’t be able to fit through.

You can get better managers for free without paying £5m compensation.

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