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Shock News – NUFC Central Defender Guilty Of Moving Too Quickly

6 years ago

After the woeful displays in NUFC’s central defence in the last two games, it was a surprise to hear a central defender still on United’s books being accused of moving too quickly.

Fabricio Coloccini and Mike Williamson’s impression of rabbits caught in the headlights against both Palace and Southampton has seen seven goals conceded, with their lack of mobility especially worrying.

The now departed (at least temporarily) [intlink id=”46925″ type=”post”]Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa [/intlink]made his Champions League debut for AS Roma this past week but has also picked up a £300 fine as well, having been caught speeding near to United’s training ground last November, I have a feeling he will still feel fairly happy having escaped the St.James’ Park madness.

Now even Newcastle United and Puma are getting in on the irony act with their promotional material for the new third strip which comes out today, with fans perhaps better off visiting an online gambling site than attempting to wager what the club’s next brainwave will be.

Amusingly they have used Colo and Williamson in promoting the strips and used the wording ‘Forever Faster’ above their heads, if only…

The bizarre and chaotic nature of what goes on at St.James’ Park is also further summed up by the club’s attempt to flog tickets for the Hull match today, the player they have used to try and sell tickets is Rolando Aarons – the same Rolando Aarons who missed Southampton through injury and has no chance of playing today.

Only at Newcastle.


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