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I Don’t Hate Pardew But Should Do Better With This Newcastle Squad

6 years ago
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I don’t hate Pardew because he’s from London (Wimbledon specifically, according to Wikipedia) and I certainly don’t hate his perceived arrogance.

I don’t even hate the fact that he’s a total bulls*** merchant who tells so many lies that his head must be spinning like an excitable dog chasing its tail.

What I can’t stand is the fact that he seems to be able to do nothing with the resources he has. In my humble opinion (which gets less and less humble the more Guinness I drink) any one of the other managers in the Premier League would have us comfortably mid-table with the players we have.

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Sissoko – Watched him against Spain a few weeks ago (only a friendly admittedly, but this is Spain we are talking about kids, only a short while ago raved about as the best team EVAH!!!TM) and he was played in the middle of the park, where he was involved in everything… tackles, passes, shots on goal, chasing down the Spanish midfield.

The usually robust Diego Costa wanted none of him, and went off with a ‘hamstring strain’ rather than get no change from a player who looks a shell of himself when shunted out to the right wing, wing-back, right side of a front 3, whatever Pardew claims as a formation at any given moment.

If you look back at his Toulouse days, this is where he played, and was obviously effective enough to attract the eye of Graham Carr.

Riviere – Looked decent in pre-season when he had some help up front but in no way, shape or form can he play the lone striker role. He works his socks off, but he’s nee use to anyone if he’s having to go and fetch the ball from out wide as he is so starved of service. He needs someone up top with him to play off and I think the goals will come, as he seems to make decent runs and with the right service will make the most of it.

Santon – As long as I have a hole in my backside Santon is not a left-back. As a striker myself, it frustrates me to watch him bomb down the wing, see whichever striker is playing make the necessary run, only for him to cut it back onto his right foot, THEN put the cross in, leaving the striker offside and the confidence further eroded. If anything, I’d play him as a right winger as his defensive qualities are average at best.

Gouffran – What happened to the free scoring Gouffran of the first half of last season? He could provide excellent support to Riviere, but like Sissoko, is shunted out to the left side of the pitch and seems to have been given no brief on how to operate. The blame for which must lie with Pardew.

Cabella – Early days for the boy, but what kind of a player is he? Lots of step overs with no end product reminds me of Ronaldo when he first went to Man U. First couple of games he was tracking back and getting stuck in, but there was no evidence of that at Southampton. Considering he scored 14 goals last season, he doesn’t seems to be getting himself into shooting positions to have a crack.

If I was manager (and I’ve lived the dream on the laptop, as I’m sure the majority of us have) I would have the team set up like this in a 4-4-2 (or as Mike Bassett would call it, a 4-4-F***ING-2 of

Krul, Haidara Janmaat, Coloccini, Williamson, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella, Obertan, Riviere, Gouffran.

The brief would be simple. Colo to do the football out of defence type thing. Williamson to do nothing other than winning headers and getting rid to someone who can do something creative with it. Colback as the defensive midfielder, allowing Sissoko to make runs and cause mayhem in the middle of the park. Cabella and Obertan on the wings with specific instructions to run at pace and get balls into the box, and commit the opposition full-backs time and again, either beating them or drawing the fouls, with Janmaat and Haidara offering overlaps.

Gouffran as support to Riviere up front so he doesn’t have to go looking for the ball and can actually BE IN THE BOX when he gets some service,

I’d also ban the ‘Hit Williamson with every single set-piece’ tactic as it hasn’t worked for years and other teams can see this in any game we play. Our set-pieces are terrible, so get some work in on the training ground. It surely can’t take long to work out who can take a decent corner or free’kick?

So there you go, one man’s slightly drunk opinion written after a few Glenfiddichs, what does everyone else think.

I’m sure you’ll come up with something different, but just remember, it can’t be any worse than what Pardew inflicts on us on a weekly basis.

Keep the faith.

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